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Chew
| Open Poetry #44 |
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Chew |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow 
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I wish I could love you, you never gave me such time. The ticking keeps me awake at night, and I grew in to this comfort, rather than needed it. I wondered, how long would it be until I finally said enough. Even still I linger, but I am nothing but a ghostly essence, and that is all I need to be for now... So many times I let the wounds continue to bleed so you would feel you still had a painful effect upon me (or to just avoid the chance of receiving more). I question my sanity, why I gave you that part of me, my strength..it escapes me.. I wish the roads would find me, tell me which path to take, but so often they have forsaken me, leading me to nothing but those who are unkind. And I stare before me, no longer afraid of the abyss, because anything could be better than this. If I felt you had a heart to break, I would be more hesitant to take away my existence in your sour plane. If I knew you as well as you wanted me to I would've left long ago... If you were really so hard as you've claimed to be you could've easily let me go, but you never relinquished your cruel grasp, and I have little left to ask, but this, this is just too much..that even I don't have such eloquent words in which to describe... Even I can't make excuses for you, or save you anymore. And you see it as selfish to reclaim my own body, to take away my own soul. And I can understand why you must make this so difficult, so intangible, you need the memory, if that's all you can get out of this... I guess I could at least grant that to you, for I find little use for the blame. Because here I am, alone, without you, and I think that I admire that fact. I took back all that you stole from me, and ended up being the one intact. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I feel such a kinship with you, because you do "drop the robe" when you let your heart pour out through your fingertips. And there is so much that is me in this poem particularly: "And I stare before me, no longer afraid of the abyss, because anything could be better than this." Now those words are a little skeery, and I've said them more than once, only to find myself wishing for the previous, more peaceful chaos that my choices brought on in my life.  "Because here I am, alone, without you, and I think that I admire that fact. I took back all that you stole from me, and ended up being the one intact." Nodding. Once you figure out that you are alone when you're with "him"--then what the heck? And I was just telling a Pipfriend who phoned that I think we are tricked by the idealization of life's journey being about the culminaton of romantic love. If a relationship leaves you a better person, express the gratitude for the learning experience and let it go. You, sweet pixie-face, are having a revolution of evolution and it looks so good on you!  |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
A very captivating introspective write! Love, Margherita |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms K...your nudity is quite lovely..I enjoy how the scars make poems words.. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"I took back all that you stole from me, and ended up being the one intact." ~ I loved how this poem ended on a powerfully positive note!!!   Linda |
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Osprey Member
since 2009-04-12
Posts 249 |
Lord, this is such an intelligent piece. If I'd have had your sense, at your age, I'd have ruled the world.(King Osprey? I rather like that.) Seriously, I wonder what 'it' was? Nevermind that, just one point: 'that even I don't have such eloquent words in which to describe'...bit lofty, maybe? I know you start the next stanza with: 'Even I', and you may have some personal point to make, but..? A veritable treasure of 'gut opening'. Thank you. |
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unboundpoetess Member
since 2008-05-24
Posts 477 |
Elegantly raw and honest. I would love to gift your words to a friend of mine that I can't reach... H |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
A very honest and look at yourself type write bringing something deep into the light |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Hey hey, what a treat to see your name here. You always write so eloquently, Kaoru. I'm drawn to your brutal honesty, and the sensitive yet raw emotions that make up your poetry. It's just great to read you again. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Beautiful bleeding... always provoking.. The first time I read it I read it as I think it was written then I went back and read it as if it were written to oneself... because that is where I am now...and the way you write makes that possible.."too bad ignorance isn't painful" ~Unknown~ |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I wish the roads would find me, tell me which path to take, but so often they have forsaken me, leading me to nothing but those who are unkind. And I stare before me, no longer afraid of the abyss, because anything could be better than this. So many of us can find parts of us in this powerful, painful work... This is fantastic! |
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