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Open Poetry #44
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zaxby
Junior Member
since 2009-03-05
Posts 48
California

0 posted 2009-05-05 10:16 PM


Borealis shimmer florescent in coursing magnetic tides,
speeding train through tunnel black one of many rides.
Ganders in a graveyard quacking up a storm,
flash of lighting from thunder cloud in its nest is born.

Pulse of static flash prodding on the rain,
gentle pitter patter killing droughts pain.
Forest breathes gratefully as life churns to the beat,
growth resplendent, perfect storm brings in something sweet.

Echoing down the alley the shooter left his kill,
did it for the money, did it for the thrill.
Two mothers lost a child tonight both feel sadness without end,
so much death and fear for no reason why, it all begins to blend.

Nature has it way not every thing is known,
we take it in each day grateful for what is shown.
Armies on the march righteous in their goal,
have to see it through no matter what the toll.

Sun will probably rise again on this earthen morning dew,
Birds will fly from mountain high, sky infinite in hue.
Train has left the tunnel hear the click clack of the rails,
Steam jets out the stack, conductor blasts lonely mournful wails.

Passengers start to sing a song.
titled “Yes we can belong.”
They all lost their pride,
feeling something new inside.

Radiant shimmer on endless fields grown in perfect order,
In this vast majestic land you’ll never reach the border.
Gusting wind moves the wheat in undulating borealis wave,
Beauty cannot define in love the master or the slave.


© Copyright 2009 Thad Geer - All Rights Reserved
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

1 posted 2009-05-05 11:48 PM


...personally, I love onomatopoeia and this one excels there...but phrases like this one stand out and leave the reader with something 'meaty':

"Radiant shimmer on endless fields grown in perfect order"

...and that last stanza is amazing...what a nice way to accentuate the write...very well done

Raindance
Member
since 2009-02-07
Posts 120
West Coast
2 posted 2009-05-06 08:52 AM


Very interesting...thought-provoking. I enjoyed your style in this.
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