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Open Poetry #44
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I am... (rp)
| Open Poetry #44 |
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I am... (rp) |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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I am… The space between sentences Tucked amidst what really matters I know protocol demands two And two might be more fitting To depict the volume of my lack But I’m just one…Just me. I am… A bell murmuring in stillness Stored away, forgotten Waiting for something to say When not even a breeze brushes it And songs of gladness Are mere memory I am… The unused side of a bed Serving no purpose Stretched out next to needed In a game of pretend Wearing the same soft blankets But reflecting rejection Not warm invitation I am… The endless pause After love words are spoken And reciprocation Isn’t offered When sounds can’t be snatched Back into unsaid And body won't drop Conveniently dead I am… An instrument unplayed In a deserted room My name’s hidden by dust And no melody’s made Only the steady, endless Staccato reminder that I am… |
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| © Copyright 2009 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Oh, my! Suthern, this wreaks of loneliness! ~ But dang girl, can you ever write that sad schtuff well! I darn near wanted to crawl into your empty bed so that you're not alone! ~ for an all-night girl chit chat, might I add! lol Love you ~ as a friend!  Linda  |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
"When sounds can’t be snatched Back into unsaid" there are so many excellent lines in this post...I can totally relate.  M |
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Osprey Member
since 2009-04-12
Posts 249 |
'loneliness', is certainly the word. Delivered with poetic skill, and hitting home. Bullseye, inner, gold. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice  |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Nailed it you did, my friend. Beautifully, expressively written. j. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: You are, yes! And you emit a sad tune here, but ever so captivating in its melancholy. Wonderfully conveyed loneliness, dear Ruth, and I do hope you have overcome this feeling now. Love, Margherita  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"A bell murmuring in stillness Stored away, forgotten Waiting for something to say When not even a breeze brushes it And songs of gladness Are mere memory" Then in my next incarnation, I'd like to be a bell jar. |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
I am… A bell murmuring in stillness Stored away, forgotten Waiting for something to say When not even a breeze brushes it And songs of gladness Are mere memory I am sure that is not true dear Ruth How could one as lovely as you be forgotten That is a very sad, poignant poem my friend and I only wish I was there to cheer you up. Take care dear Lady and may the sun soon shine upon you again. Love to you. Lindsay |
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Namyh Senior Member
since 2009-01-20
Posts 988 |
suthern - This is poetry leaping off the page with visual impact. You crafted this extremely well for the reader. An eloquent defining of the solitude in all of us waiting for recognition. Superb craftsmanship here. Loved it. Namyh |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
This seems so sad but it's so well written I enjoyed the read very much. Eric |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
EA: *shaking head and wagging finger* It's not nice to make me snort hot coffee... it's both messy and painful. ROFL... Thank you! *S* nakdthoughts: Thank you, sweet lady! *S* Osprey: "gold"... *S* Now that's a word I'm going to gleefully hold to my heart... thank you! *S* vandana: Thank you! *S* jwesley: Thank you, dear friend. *S* Margherita: Thank you so much! *S* serenity: From your mouth to the goddess's ear. *S* Thank you! *S* Lindsay: Just seeing your name gives me a smile... thank you! *S* Namyh: What a generous response... thank you so much! *S* ethome: I'm glad you enjoyed... thank you! *S* |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
GREAT 'write' ! I am especially fond of: "The space between sentences Tucked amidst what really matters" "A bell murmuring in stillness Stored away, forgotten Waiting for something to say" much applause for this 'penning' !! |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Such beautiful eloquence in the silence of your heart, and I think how much you have to give and how much someone is missed by not being there to receive it.  |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Although filled with lonliness from beginning to end, this was a pure delight to read as you express yourself quite vividly. Your closing verse poetic gold. I remember these "I am " challenges from way back. Dang it's been a long time. Hugs to ya |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Beautifulx3. I LOVED this. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Beloved one, THIS shouldn’t be allowed! YOU are so talented and write pure poetic wonder. Reading you is always a pleasure, it reminds me of what I love about poetry. It is also extremely good for me, because I cannot write loneliness and sorrow even a quarter as well as you can, and if I am going to write Authentic poetry I need to write despondency. My tutor tells me that if I can’t dig down and find something darker than my usual waffle he will wash his hands of me. Oh woe is me, I am undone. (Quick get me a safety pin so I can do it back up..) Just like my wedding dress do you remember Pat and Zoë pinning me up at the reception? Oh what a day that was. I’m digressing again, this poem is wonderful, Your writing is incredible and IWIHWT, but I never, ever shall write half as well as this. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT Forget you never X x x x x x Mushy X x x x x x x x Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
well done ms...you are!! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Fine writing...James |
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leeler12 Junior Member
since 2009-04-29
Posts 15Manchester, New Hampshire |
I like this a lot, it makes me sad, but also happy at the same time to know that everybody at some point feels like that. I find, when you feel alone or ignored, knowing you're not the only one doesn't make you feel as empty. Really nice write. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
secondhanddreampoet: Thank you very much for those kind words! *S* Klassy Lassy: Classy and compassionate... what a beautiful response... Thank you! *S* Maga: It's kinda fun watching as everything old becomes new again, isn't it? *S* Of course... I'm too lazy to write another! LOL Thank you so much my friend... your read and comments are much appreciated. *S* kaoru: Thank you thank you thank you! *S* Marsha: I remember so very well. *S* And you know you can always borrow some of my despondency and darkness... I'm shadow to your sunniness! *S* Thank you so much! *S* DS: Thank you, kind sir. *S* JM: Thank you very much! *S* leeler12: I'm glad you found something valuable... thank you so very much for reading and replying! *S* To All: I'm sorry I'm so late expressing my thanks... I appreciate you all! |
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