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Open Poetry #44

Invisible Scars

A Beautiful Disaster
Member

since 2007-01-13

Posts 409

0 posted 2009-05-04 03:35 PM

The poison of spring has dissolved in my veins;
A second is worth both my future and past.
The more I denied my becoming insane,
The sooner insanity touched me at last.
The silence we hear is the laugh of my fate,
The soundless laugh at the one I forgot -
The yesterday's me - and the force to create
The life I portrayed. But it's less than I've got.
I love the invisible scars of my skin -
The blades of your hands are so tempting, indeed.
These words I give birth to just come from within,
Revealing the truth till the scars start to bleed.
These words cost two hours less than a night -
Mixed feelings are harder to rhyme than small talk.
Two hours more, and the things will go right
As long as I fail my deceiving the clock.

WTBAKELAR

Senior Member

since 2008-09-09

Posts 1089
Utah, USA

1 posted 2009-05-04 03:54 PM

Interesting?

Tracey

A Beautiful Disaster
Member

since 2007-01-13

Posts 409

2 posted 2009-05-23 06:21 AM

Thank you, it's interesting, indeed.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

3 posted 2009-05-23 05:28 PM

quote:
Mixed feelings are harder to rhyme than small talk.

They are indeed, and you did a great job on this one with your choice of metaphors.

Osprey
Member

since 2009-04-12

Posts 249

4 posted 2009-05-23 05:55 PM

'A second is worth both my future and past.'
I was wondering when someone was going to think like me. Existence is merely a fraction of a second: all else is past or future. Thank you.

SlowlyFallAway
Member

since 2008-08-29

Posts 279
North Carolina

5 posted 2009-05-23 08:11 PM

"I love the invisible scars of my skin -
The blades of your hands are so tempting, indeed.
These words I give birth to just come from within,
Revealing the truth till the scars start to bleed"

Amazing stanza. The whole poem was amazing. I havn't used that rhyme scheme in a while either, but I loved it.

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