navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #44 » Plucking Petals
Open Poetry #44
Post A Reply Post New Topic Plucking Petals Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
SeraphimBroken
Member
since 2009-03-09
Posts 74
USA

0 posted 2009-04-28 08:59 PM


Plucking pedals from a precious daisy again?
He loves you?
He love me?
He loves you not?

I feel the tempt of your eyes,
your wanton desire upon my promised heart.
His attention not upon your breast
where you pine for it to be.

Your unkempt gaze from discreet shadows,
eyes sprinkled jealous and rust.
Advocate of devils beat upon your breast
where i see them pain to be.

Candy coated lust, your fingers tempting,
cannot you see the evil of their vein?
Clearly outside the chalice of true love you
wish to venture upon my vessel of hope?

Painting pictures with dancing tendrils of voice,
you lean in a little harder to press your
make believe visions upon your victim
whose dreams have not been laid upon your door.

My desire does not want the pains of
your need, pouring out from every pore
of your soul, black and white they be.
Only of tomorrow's unrequited empty promise.

Given unto me by his hand the keys
of his dreamed waited for kingdom.
Queen he has crowned me thereof,
King he proclaims to be for me.

Your contempt of groaning shall
be excised from the throne room
of our residing. There I remain a
pedestal in his eyes for all to see.

For on the balance, the weight
of your temptations cannot
weigh more than the love
born true of him for my endearing.

Keeping in yourself wanton whispers
you crave so much, for if you loved
them, they shall surely return unto you.
Treasures for the lonely damned.

The last pedal proclaimed,
He loves you not, his whisper to your ear.
Place the broken flower of
your waning upon the floor.

Surrounded by it's soft
plucked pedals, no comfort for
its passing light.
Let the daisy now rest in peace.

© Copyright 2009 seraphimbroken - All Rights Reserved
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
1 posted 2009-04-28 09:09 PM


SeraphimBroken - found the poem to be a little long, but it's excellent. Like the way you write...

BC

SeraphimBroken
Member
since 2009-03-09
Posts 74
USA
2 posted 2009-04-28 09:24 PM


BC, Thank you! Yes it is a little long and i do see your point, I think this one could benefit from a little reformatting. This is one I am going to continue to work on. Thank you for the foresight!
Suncleaver
Member
since 2009-01-18
Posts 481
Stafford England
3 posted 2009-04-28 09:28 PM


I enjoyed this poem.

Such powerful passionate language.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2009-05-01 06:11 PM


Fine writing...James
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #44 » Plucking Petals

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary