Open Poetry #44 |
Moeror (grief) |
Suncleaver Member
since 2009-01-18
Posts 481Stafford England |
You bed forever cold, alone inside The shell of grief you broke upon my chest, The tears of shame your eyes did bleed to hide Your tortured plans to make your final rest. |
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© Copyright 2009 Luke Doubtfire - All Rights Reserved | |||
WTBAKELAR
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089Utah, USA |
Interesting write. Tracey. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
This depicts the feelings of helplessness of grief so well. The only thing I didn't like was the line where you added the "did" because it seemd to jar. Good work. Kethry See me, feel me, touch me, heal me. - Tommy |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Suncleaver - expressed well, nice write... BC |
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critical mass Member
since 2009-03-25
Posts 275Michigan |
sounds like a suicide Your tortured plans to make your final rest. |
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