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Thanks for the Enemas - refilled
| Open Poetry #44 |
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Thanks for the Enemas - refilled |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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In view of my recent hospital stay, here is my tribute to the hospital staff...it can be FUN being a poet!  To the tune of THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES........ Thanks.....for the enemas The way you placed the hose Toward only Heaven knows I never knew When you were through A good thing, I suppose I thank you.....so much. Thanks for the -oscopathies The colon- and sigmoid- The way you filled my void The way your hands Caressed my glands Including my thyroid I thank you.....so much. I just came by for a checkup. I only had pains from the neck up. I didn't know You would torture me so... Now it's all done Really wasn't much fun.. And Thanks for the x-rays, too And all those MRI's Along with two GI's. I drank that chalk And couldn't talk Without tears in my eyes... I thank you.....so much. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Osprey Member
since 2009-04-12
Posts 249 |
A very human mix of humour, and something that is so very serious. I'm sure that this is as appreciated, by others, as it is by me. My hat is off to you, Sir. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Oh, me! Oh, me! Oh, my! I see your 'deer' butt in the sky! Visions are reeling through my mind! Oh, me! Oh, me! Oh, my! Next time you have to visit the 'horse pistol', give me a call! I will give you all the TLC that you can handle! After all those tests, what was the 'bottom' line?!? Love and healing hugs, Nurse Betty Boop  |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
LOL, well that was a wonderfully rendered poem Micahel ... Butt ... I'd like to hear a little update on how you're doing after all that torture?  Sending hugs and wishes for good health to you over the miles.  Loved your song!  Best wishes and more hugs, /Kit |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
The update is good. I'm back home, still in strong discomfort but short or intense pain so that's good. I'll be going back to donate a foot and a half of colon in the near future...had way too much anyway |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
'Deer, good to see you are recovering...sorry that you have gone through what you have. They recommend a colon check/scan once every 5 years and I am sure you know all about that as well....something about the over 50 crowd. You're in my prayers Barry |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Thanks, Barry. Funny...laying in the hospital bed every night watching Wheel of Fortune all I could think of was "I WANNA BUY A BOWEL!!" Definitely sick..  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You're in all our prayers. Now, and always! Glad you're coming out fairly clean. |
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unboundpoetess Member
since 2008-05-24
Posts 477 |
*giggles* Oh my goodness, but I DO know where you've been. I had surgery in September and was supposed to come out short of a foot and a half myself. I have to have a colonoscopy every 6 months for a couple of years. The hardest part for me now is downing the gallon of nasty juice for the procedure. The jug says it has a "pleasant, mineral water taste". Keep your wonderful sense of humor. Wishing you the best, Heather [This message has been edited by unboundpoetess (04-18-2009 05:29 PM).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Heather, that stuff is the most vile, evil tasting stuff in the world. One can imagine witches tossing in eyes of newt, salamander hearts, grizzly bear pus and a variety of other undrinkable ingredients into a cauldron to come up with it. It is the worst joke perpetrated on mankind. It is what Caligula drank for breakfast....and it don't taste good, neither!!! |
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critical mass Member
since 2009-03-25
Posts 275Michigan |
Cute song. I can relate. I had the xrays where they expand your colon and intestines with air. Everytime he squeezed that air pump I thought I would die. That is the most painful thing I've had done by those sadists. |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
Hi Deer Sir, Sorry to hear about your health, humor at this point will be the last thing I could be thinking in such situation. It was very thoughtful of how hospital pinch money from people.Wishing you good health and prayers.  "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
How right you are, the witches brew.... aww, Balladeer, it's awful  meant for spells, cant, and curses the stuff should be unlawful You are in my thoughts and prayers.  ~K Lassy |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
"Can I buy a BOWEL!" Sheesh!  I imagine you had them laughing all the time you were in there.Heck I didn't even know I had so much colon until you posted you were going in for this, and now I find out there are so many sections of the colon, and all along I thought it was just : Take care Michael, my thoughts are sure with you I hated the hospital and couldn't wait to get the heck out of there and away from all those darn sick people.  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
laughing Now I know why I woke up singing show tunes.  Your humor is most certainly intact, deerheart. We all love ya Mike. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Have you told Toe about this?? *G* If so, your bravery should win medals! LOL Good luck and good health, my friend... |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
OMG! Poor little you. Do you need a nurse maid? I'll see if I can get a leave of absence from work. |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
I thoroughly enjoyed your poem Balladeer It brought a big smile to my face. The only trouble was that it brought back horrible memories to me in my childhood, but it fixed the problem. You wrote it well my friend. Take care. Lindsay |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Exactly why I try to stay away from doctors as much as possible.Funny poem. Ida |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, One can only imagine how "flushed" you were from all that excitement ( sorry, couldn't help it). Add my best wishes to the rest for your speedy recovery. As long as they're not removing your funny bone you should do alright. Doc |
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