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Open Poetry #44
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Second Chance
| Open Poetry #44 |
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Second Chance |
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Namyh Senior Member
since 2009-01-20
Posts 988 |
Second Chance My Love slammed the door. It shut as a tomb, like sound sucked empty from a symphony room where no music played, where no feet light danced. Gone was my Love, my last best chance. 300 feet per second is, I know, the speed of pain as it travels thru the body on its way to the brain but my breaking heart is witnessing a fear coming faster. It’s Sorrow’s beast of impact charging reinless without master. My breathing’s getting deep. I seem to need more breath. I’m fighting back the tears where they exit from the jets. I feel the quaking gallop of that beast’s pounding beckon leaping, lunging closer to me, 300 feet per second. Bam! comes the “crash” and my tears gush forth and they stream down rippling in a saline sad froth. And my sorrow is a smash-up, a shattering of parts, cracked pieces blown-off from my now broken heart. I slump in non-recovery. There my energy dwindles longer teetering on the drip drops of tears crying stronger and dreading the coming moment I resign to my Fate without hope of any time, without chance of any mate. Then Abrupt! The door opens! My Love walks inside and my heart sings a Mending-of-the-Tears lullaby. And just when I thought “All” was lost or dead, Love stands in my doorway, back with coffee and bread. Namyh |
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| © Copyright 2009 Namyh - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
good grief!!! I wish I could do it like this...  wow...start to finish...superb! |
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critical mass Member
since 2009-03-25
Posts 275Michigan |
That was really good. I especially liked the ending. Not what I expected. |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
Lost and now found. A relieved feeling in the end, nice read. "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
The speed of pain...is 300 ft.per second...this is awesome, and the whole poem I must say that I enjoyed reading it. |
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Namyh Senior Member
since 2009-01-20
Posts 988 |
Sea – We often surprise ourselves about what we can do when the mind is set to do it. And from start to finish, I thank you for your words of enjoyment. So very glad you enjoyed. Namyh criticalmass – It’s often the unexpected that catches us. So very glad you found some of it here with this piece. Hope it warmed your heart. Namyh PrasadNataraj) – Very perceptive Prasad. I believe this story is indeed about the “lost and found” of human hopes and wishes. So very glad you were relieved in the end and enjoyed. Namyh ChalmetteGuy – Thanks ChalmetteGuy. I enjoyed your words at 300 ft. per second without the slightest pain and I thank you for it. Hope this helps when most needed. Namyh |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
You took us on an emotional rollercoaster... and I sure enjoyed the ride! *S* Great write! |
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Suchitra New Member
since 2009-04-20
Posts 1India |
Really gives the scope and tragedy of the situation.. A grieving poem.. I really liked your way of expressing grief.. It was an artsitic way.. Suchitra - Poetess |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
there is so much good to say about this...like this phrase: "like sound sucked empty from a symphony room"...leaves me speechless ...and what about "saline sad froth"...how cool is that? love the visualizations you portray in this...enjoyed, thank you for sharing... |
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