Unbekannte Menschenkind - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #44

Unbekannte Menschenkind

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2009-03-25 11:57 AM

.

The front yard
Is certainly similar
To what I remember
As a child

With its long green lawn
The top trimmed bushes
A concrete sidewalk
Through the middle of it all

The picket fence
Is a nice touch
And the leaves
On the trees
Shimmering in light
I can almost
Feel the breeze

Yet once past
The railed front steps
Things begin to fall apart
With broken fixtures
Unpainted walls
A fractured asymmetry
To the rooms

This is not a house
I ever lived in

And you never came home

.

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2009-03-25 12:23 PM

John,

Your poem speaks eloquently of abandonment. Good work.

Bobby

Boshii2
Member

since 2009-02-01

Posts 146

2 posted 2009-03-25 01:20 PM

your poem echoes the fractured lives too many children live.
the house echoes it too
kind regards Boshii2

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

3 posted 2009-03-25 04:39 PM

Nice

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

4 posted 2009-03-25 05:37 PM

Sad. A house just isn't 'home' if you are always unhappy there.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

5 posted 2009-03-25 06:39 PM

Fine writing...James

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.