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Open Poetry #44
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Dilly dally down the drain
| Open Poetry #44 |
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Dilly dally down the drain |
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zaxby Junior Member
since 2009-03-05
Posts 48California |
Dilly dally down the drain, Popularize your perfect pain. Make them think you know a lot, right in tune, something hot. Start the fray they will pay as you say------- didn’t you know, I told you so where to go, in the flow. Reach for the stars, in downtown bars, as those men from mars drive fast green cars. Planet perfect in every way, a good place to stay, when you feel ok after a roll in the hay may I play today? Or maybe pray for creations clay. Listen to the whippoorwill as she flies up a hill sound gives a chill almost a thrill like a pig at his swill taking a pill just before kill. Ghastly ganders poke the skin, just to stop this poem you’re in. quacking with an awful din. ruffled feathers take the win. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Thad Geer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Quiet Waters Junior Member
since 2009-03-13
Posts 15IN, USA |
While I have not read any of your other writings, I am compelled to comment on this one simply because after reading through it three times I'm still confused. I really like the opening stanza. It's strong and tone setting. But the following stanza's seem forced and disjointed. Could you explain your thought process for this one? I'm really interested in knowing why it's written as it is. I love abstract thought and when woven into poetry it can be intoxicating. Thank you for provoking my curiousity with this piece! |
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zaxby Junior Member
since 2009-03-05
Posts 48California |
This was an experiment in blending rhyme and off the top of the head subject matter I was surprised that some of it made sense in an unsettling odd way. I'd label it free form rhyme fabrication. |
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