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Open Poetry #44
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This Is For Tina
| Open Poetry #44 |
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This Is For Tina |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada 
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Down in the long arm near Key Largo I fell in love with a pretty blond girl. The best time upon me I married young Tina, we spent our days in a lover's new whirl. Deep in the night the passion would set us racing and restless under a spell. The nights ignited, our young hearts reeling, above the ocean we captured a thrill. Together as one we rolled the years in laughing and loving we let the world spin. Planning and caring two lives we were sharing in the circle of time beginning to end. One day past homefront a perilous betrayer slipped in like a breeze shiftless unfurled. My loved one did answer the call of his potion soon I came home to an empty cold world. Gone on the promise of lies leading nowhere made from a pretense to truly stay one and as I read the note I would find there it spoke of her leaving with Daniel she loved. I was set back my mind lost and whirling I cried and I choked and watched the sky dim. Planning and caring two lives we'd been sharing now she was gone like chaff on the wind. One rainy day a call struck my heart strings it was my Tina and oh how she cried. She said, "Oh Johnny I've done all the wrong things and now I know Daniel won't leave his wife. I am so sorry for causing you heartbreak I know how you've suffered now I'll sacrifice with this sorrow I've captured a great weight now is the time I shall leave from this life." I cried out in fear my whole soul pleading "Please Tina don't lose and give in to this end!" Planning and caring two lives we'd been sharing "Hold on I'll be there to take you back in!" I raced in cold fear I drove the streets madly I ran up the stairway to where she was kept I kicked down the door with a force heart rending but she lay on the floor in a source blood red. There was my Tina sprawled out at her finish with the pistol beside her that took her last breath. I fell to the floor and cried with a vengence and vowed that I'd drink from the fountain of death. And as I knelt there sobbing so violent I felt my heart build a closet of hate. Planning and caring two lives we'd been sharing now Tina was lost at devil's heart gate. I vowed that I'd search out the soul of this Daniel A reaper of justice I'd shadow his death. I kept to the task with a plan ill determined and swore we'd be meeting to settle this debt. Finally I placed him a gaurd on the long beach high up in a chair to save the distressed and when I saw him my heart skipped a queer beat up over the crowd he spread his proud chest. And as I stood there angry and empty I felt the need to swim out through the waves. Planning and caring two lives we'd been sharing out through the cool waters I stroked with a rage. I swam a distance and truned in the sun's heat I yelled in a panic I was choking to death. He jumped from the tower and ran to my rescue to save this poor soul he'd give his best yet and when he reached me I was gasping and crying over his shoulder I was flung for the rest. Then round his throat my arm choked his life line I said, "this is for Tina," as he drew his last breath. And as I held him floating in silence I clutched his life jacket with tears in my eyes. I pulled him in to the crowd that was waiting I cried for amends that I'd held him too tight. Planning and caring two lives we'd been sharing now I'm alone with the stars and the night. Planning and caring two lives we'd been sharing I cry for forgiveness for love over life. NOTHING LIKE THIS EVER HAPPENED TO ME BY THE WAY! [This message has been edited by ethome (03-09-2009 10:58 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2009 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved | |||
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
a MOST powerful 'penning'! grand-fine ending especially: "Planning and caring two lives we'd been sharing now I'm alone with the stars and the night. Planning and caring two lives we'd been sharing I cry for forgiveness for love over life." MUCH (long-sustained) applause! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Bruce I appreciate the read and the comment. Eric |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Eric, This is a good story. I'm glad it didn't happen to you. Bobby |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey Bobby Thanks, I'm glad it didn't either. I appreciate the kind words. Eric |
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Noel Junior Member
since 2009-03-06
Posts 42West Coast |
Reads like a scene from a movie, and drives home the stark reality of circumstances beyond our control. Very good work and so sad. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Wow, dear Eric, this brings goosebumps, for the highly dramatic content and outcome. Impressive write, a ballad that holds the attention of the reader and makes one wish to say "no, please, no!". Love, Margherita |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Oh, Eric, there was no need for the disclaimer! We all know you couldn't really take another man's life. Mind you, that would have been a very clever (yet beastly!!!) way of doing so! Quite the imagination ~ and pen! ~ you have! Enjoyed the tall tale!  Linda |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you Noel and welcome to Passions. I wish it was being considered for a movie script.......LOL! Eric |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Hi Eric, this is poignant, there is a french song that says "love storys always end badly" Some experiences are unforgettable but they build the man...Thanks for the very interesting poem and sharing. yann |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Margherita Glad I got the goosebumps out and the "no please no" I appreciate the read and those comments my dear lady friend. Made me smile and so happy to know you. Eric |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
You have a very vivid imagination my friend and to serve it all up in a poem like that was just great. Much enjoyed Eric. Lindsay |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Linda thank you my dear. All of us verse writers have an imagination to play with don't we? I appreciate your kind words and always your visit. Eric |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Yeah, you're right I wouldn't do that for sure Linda. I appreciate the imagination words and comments otherwise. Thanks Yann Thank you for the read and the nice reply. Lindsay Thanks so much for the visit and the positive input, much appreciated. Eric |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
*sustained applause* You told a gripping tale and did so marvelously... your rhyme flows smoothly and enhances, never interrupts, the story. Bravo!!! I don't know what melody you've written for this... but the rhythm reminds me of Marty Robbins' El Paso. *S* I was humming along by the time I got to Planning and caring two lives we'd been sharing now she was gone like chaff on the wind. I've always loved his song... and I love this! *S* |
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