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Open Poetry #44
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The Inconvenience of Me
| Open Poetry #44 |
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The Inconvenience of Me |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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I am not sorry I was there-- I saw the movements fluidly in between connecting two-- our marriage has no thing to do with me, or them, or even you. It is my own I saw it, bleed no introduction and no need. That paper binds us legally but she's what gets you all giddy and your chest puffs out in strut she makes you feel so...important... loved and we should all be so. I'll not bother you again with obligations' head poundings, I wish that I could swear that true but I'm afraid we are not through-- we have just one more thing to do, and we will finish what we started fake it dammit broken-hearted smile, oh smile, for the camera, posture your concern bedside and nod a lot the way you do because it is not quite the truth but not exactly lies. Let our daughter walk that stage with two parents proud to say "That's our baby--we raised her." while we clap our hands purple. I'll take the antibiotics as prescribed without the wine and work to stand again, alone. You gave me much practice... at home. I'll know what time to lock the door. And if there's something on the floor-- it will belong to me and you're forever off the hook. Maybe...  For then we'll square the cost of this. I'm laughing now, "Convenient" that's what they call these marriages when they do not know the pain. |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
Karen, what a thoughtful and emotional piece. You are quite a strong person and I hope this year brings you great prosperity and happiness. You deserve it. ~Jill |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
my heart ached through all of this...I so wanted it to take a different direction and I kept saying to myself, "I wish I could say something that would help..." As I read each write from every poet here, I keep looking for that one thing...that thing that touches me...this write had the ability to touch at each word...so full of emotions...so full of what I perceived as pain...an excellent write...thanks for sharing this |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I've been writing a lot of journaling style poetry (I realize some people don't even consider it poetry) so my retro apologies for crying the Christmas party, and my advanced apologies for all the tears that are sure to come. *shrug* I don't really write...I just...type. Thanks for reading, and my love to all.  |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Much sadness in this. I remember having so much fun with the young three dollar bill guy that came around here and calling you Celeste....We all had some laughs. The bottom line is you are still you and are loved by all here that know your heart and soul. Looking forward to reading your next and watching as time seasons you with the salt of artistic healing. Give your daughter a hug for me. Hey imagine this, my daughter is 35 years old now and she has always been such a wonderful mentor for me, and I for her, throughout everything that happened we have stood together....There's nothing like it and I know you already know that. Take care of yourself Eric |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
E? I wish I didn't feel so bad. *shaking my head* I shouldn't feel this bad. tsk... but I DID laugh about "Celeste"! devil-me |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Dear, dear Karen, I want to blink my eyes and find that I when I open them that I imagined all of this . . . but it just isn't happening. I echo what everyone else has said, and with regard to your last comment - you feel so bad because you are a loving, caring, wonderful woman. You couldn't do otherwise. I ache through every word of this and the ongoing reality after the poem has ended, but, as Steaven said, you are strong, and like Kacy, you can do this. You can get through it. This too shall pass - I don't know if you feel the beautiful Biblical comfort and mantra-like strength in that sentence that I do. You need to feel this way to work through it. I have never been to a Zulu funeral, but apparently at the traditional part, there is a lot of weeping and wailing and from what I understand, that is to find closure and to bring about a catharsis. I cry a lot (I didn't as a child or a teenager) and I think that is perhaps part of the reason for my health. My suggestion is that you let yourself cry and rant and rave and write poetry (and please share it with us), but just please don't do anything that brings you not even the least amount of harm. You know, of course, that my slight shoulders are actually very broad metaphorically speaking and ANY time you want to email me about ANYTHING, you are more than welcome. My email problems seem to be better now, and for no apparent reason, my ability to get an Internet connection which hit an all-time low in the last couple of days, but again for no apparent reason, that seems to be better now too. Warm hugs, huggles and huglets (thank you for the word, "huglets" Marge, I am sure you won't mind me borrowing it) - Owl |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"and work to stand again, alone. You gave me much practice... at home." oh yes, that. as you know I was there almost 7 yrs ago. I wish I could tell you all good things but the reality is that there will most probably always be resentment. There will most probably always be that feeling of "not good enough" because it feels like they choose something/someone else. and when I told the therapist these feelings, she said: "He failed you."  love you."too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Whilst I almost agree with Susan, I can honestly say that the resentment can EVENTUALLY fade into a strange sort of affection. The following link is to a poem to my late ex-husband whom I divorced in 1974. /pip/Forum106/HTML/002309.html Hope it gives you a glimmer of hope, Karen. - Owl |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I'll be back.  |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
"I'm laughing now, "Convenient" that's what they call these marriages when they do not know the pain." You know I understand~~ M |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
dear Karen.. this is an amazing gifting of your soul.. just want to reach out and hug you ....so keep writing for us please xx RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
No, you don't really write....you exude.  When others sweat blood, you perspire poetry. It's your nature....thank God. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
See? This is what I mean--ya'll are kind to me even when I'm on "rant" spree. sheesh I'll try to find something happier to write about soon. Thanks my lovelies! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Fine writing...James |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Love your "journaling style" poetry from the heart, Karen. You keep writing and I'll keep reading. Ida |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
just me.. back for another read and to save it as a  lovely Karen .. you inspire me so.. RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
and work to stand again, alone. You gave me much practice... at home. Oh, hon... my mind is tumbling into so many memories I lack words... so I'll just send {{{{{HUGS}}}}} But... if what you write isn't poetry, I'll stop telling folks how much I love poetry. *S* |
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