Open Poetry #44 |
Alyson Blue |
gdcod2player Member
since 2008-07-26
Posts 117 |
What’s there left to do? The eyes that gave me faith again Alyson Blue where are you? The girl that made me fall Let me hold your hand The sweet smell of autumn How much farther are you than I thought? I don’t know why I can’t seem to look the other way Maybe I know you aren’t turning back I miss the way you smiled back at me Those summer days I counted down Those four short weeks didn’t let me down The heart ill give to you Even if you are ever so far away I want to be you guy someday (not done at all, not happy with it...) (i might change it quite a bit, but alyson blue shall stay) |
||
© Copyright 2009 gdcod2player - All Rights Reserved | |||
Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
That's ok. Please finish. So far very lovely. Juju -Juju |
||
tao power Member
since 2009-02-24
Posts 109 |
it's ok. i can tell you really loved the girl, so it isnt the conviction that's lacking. I think this poem would sound nice with a tighter meter. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |