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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
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| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #44 |
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She |
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Jaime Fradera Senior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 843Where no tyranny is tolerable |
She is the guardian of my sleep. She is the bringer of nocturnal fantasies. She is the beauty of my heart. She is the magic angel who comforts me in my despair. She is all things strong, all that is fragile, gentle, delicate and beautiful. Each night she nourishes me, drinks my tears and strengthens me, helps me daily fight my way through th sometimes harsh, indifferent and unforgiving veil of tears, and, in spite of all the awful the waking world can throw at me, prevail. It is she who shows me the colors in everyone and everything that damaged eyes could never do, plays me music from the harps of space that I will never hear through damaged ears. She is the teller of my dreams, so I can write them down and post them here on Pip. Perhaps She will gift me with another year of Life, my friends, my love. For it is She who is the captain of my fate, it is She who is the mistress of my soul. The trick worked, and I'm finally falling asleep because of riding this. But maybe I should have gotten riding lessons from Sara first???? Kacy will pass away, But Midnitesun will shine forever. |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow  must be nice to have someone that devoted to you  |
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Jaime Fradera Senior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 843Where no tyranny is tolerable |
Actually, sea, this is just an inner figure or fantasy, not an actual personality of the outer world. Friendship is for Life, if not Forever. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
it's really nice |
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Windhover Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 179UK |
Now this is really something... Gentle, ephemeral,and soft as an Angel's sigh. Well done! |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Jaime - now this would be one beautiful woman, both inside and out. Nice write... BC |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear Jaime, I think it is very hard to actually include the names of real people in a poem, and to do it in a way that is convincing and which works. While I have some difficulty with the early part of the poem, I confess considerable admiration for that last stanza where you pull off this very difficult task. I know that you're not using Yeats as a model here. But when I see something of this sort done this well, I do think of the section in the Yeats poem — Easter, 1916, I believe — in which he talks about some of the real figures of the Irish revolution, and makes them immortal simply by naming them in all their human frailties. It's moments like this in your poetry that make you special to me, though we disagree massively about other stuff. Keep on trucking! Bob Kaven |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
The trick worked, and I'm finally falling asleep because of riding this. But maybe I should have gotten riding lessons from Sara first???? Kacy will pass away, But Midnitesun will shine forever. A great last stanza Jaimie and I'm sure Midnight Sun will shine forever. Take xcare my friend. Lindsay |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 Well, no one could ever live up to that ideal persona! But thank you for suggesting Midnitesun may have helped trigger such a beautiful write.Sleep well, amigo. |
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