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adamjames72
New Member

since 2009-02-17

Posts 6

0 posted 2009-02-17 02:52 AM

Hello everyone, it is nice to see this forum. I like how it seems that everyone is supportive on this one, and I look forward to getting to know everyone through their writing.

I am a fairly new writer in the poetic sense, I have always had a nac for APA style writing, especially a reporting style of writing, but it is only recently that I started taking my emotions or feelings, and putting them into rhyme and meter.

This is one of my most recent poems, written for an ex. I have an edited version, but this is my original, I wanted to see if anyone suggested the same edits.

The fire in my heart has been gone
I haven't felt that way in so long
There are many times of the year to think back
On things that have happened, things of the past
The season of love is upon us
And now it hits me like a bus
How happy I was to have you
How lucky I was we pulled through
The beginning was rough, we were confused
The middle was epic, nothing could diffuse
The love that we had
It all didn't end well, but it was worth it
Those short 18 months, I will never forget
They say you never forget your first
This I know is true, I'll always remember you
So this valentines, with my heart so empty
I'm content to think back, on how we were so happy
We have gone our seperate ways
Those days are draped in a mystic haze
While we are on to bigger and better
My heart is not bitter
Just happy for the time, it couldn't have been better
I hope this valentines is as good as last
Please take a moment to look at the past
It is the best valentines I have ever gotten
And it will live on and on, never forgotten

-Adam

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2009-02-17 10:45 AM

Adam,

Welcome to Passions! I'm sure there will
be those who will enjoy helping you edit
your poem, but for now...

please check your email
for a Very Special Greeting!

" It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

2 posted 2009-02-18 02:08 PM

Welcome to PIP, Adam. Hope to see more of your writing.
Ida

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

3 posted 2009-02-18 06:19 PM

Welcome to these blue pages, and thanks for this tender write. While you might have areas you could edit, I enjoy being given a chance to read first drafts, as they are often much closer to the writer's heartbeat.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

4 posted 2009-02-18 09:08 PM

Hi, Adam! Welcome to pipTalk!

"My heart is not bitter" ~ and that is quite apparent! lol A very sweet VD write!

May "the season of love" be yours throughout the year!

Giving you a warm, welcoming pip hug,

Earth Angel

adamjames72
New Member

since 2009-02-17

Posts 6

5 posted 2009-02-18 11:17 PM

Thanks very much for the warm welcome everybody.

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