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cannot clear the name
| Teen Poetry #1 |
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cannot clear the name |
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Addie Anne Junior Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 46norman, oklahoma- usa |
rose watered, rose red rotting petals in my bed flower blooming, flower dead it's all a voice inside her head. i'm shaking, i'm breaking i cannot stop this withering i cannot stop my shivering i cannot find my place. i'm aching, i'm breaking i cannot find what's killing i cannot find my serinity i cannot clear the name. rose watered, rose red crumbling to the ground it's shead flower living, flower dead all your voices in my head. take a drink and let it sink stop the madness before it's brink plant the goodness and soon it dies never enough to satisfie. i cannot stop this withering i cannot find what's killing me i cannot fight his chivalry i cannot clear the name. [This message has been edited by Addie Anne (edited 08-04-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 Addie Anne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Slim Shady Junior Member
since 1999-08-03
Posts 32Phoenix, AZ, USA |
Very Good poem. My suggestion is to change the 6th line. It doesn't go well with the rest of the poem. Besides that, it was great. Keep up the Good work! ------------------ "That's Rock Bottom When this life makes you mad enough to kill... That's Rock Bottom When you want something bad enough you'll steal... That's Rock Bottom When you feel you have had it up to here Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear" Words by the Slim Shady |
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Addie Anne Junior Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 46norman, oklahoma- usa |
thanks a bunch for your comment. i changed the line so tell me if that fits. thanks again- addie |
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