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Teen Poetry #1
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New Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 8
falmouth, massachusetts,united states

0 posted 1999-07-06 11:24 AM

The rain falls slowly to the ground,
As all of my loved ones I have found.
Dying around me as we speak,
And wondering why they've reached their peak.
Peak of unhappiness to make them yearn,
They want to leave but people say they'll burn.
For all my life I've come to find,
all of my loved ones have left me behind.
In this world full of hate, but who can I blame,
My parents for bringing me into a world full of shame.
Full of hatred and prejudice that we could live without,
Wishing I could change it but knowing the doubts.
I despise this life I'm left to lead,
Stepping on others so that I can succeed.
I know it's not right but what can I do,
Let it all go and leave it for you?
So as I've been told whenever I am lonely,
Your born alone, you die alone -for you are your one and only.

© Copyright 1999 tiffany - All Rights Reserved
Junior Member
since 1999-06-22
Posts 40
Rohill, NJ, USA
1 posted 1999-07-06 11:26 AM

wow..i really liked those last 2 lines!!!!!
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297
2 posted 1999-07-06 12:15 PM

Yeah, I'll second that. The last two lines were really great. The first four lines are good too. But I wouldn't use peak at both the end of line 4 and the beginning of line 5. Maybe precipice or tip or something like that. Other than that, nice poem.
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
3 posted 1999-07-07 07:25 AM

Tiffany, this is pwetty darned good...
You must have had a weally dood English teacher for your fweshman year, eh?

[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 07-07-99).]

New Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 3
Falmouth, MA, U.S.
4 posted 1999-07-08 10:53 AM

Great Poem. I liked the last part.
Junior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 22
westminster ca usa
5 posted 1999-07-09 01:55 AM

The last two lines in ur poem are words to live are a very "earcatching" poet.

I really liked this helps me realize that it's ok to be alone.


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