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Spartacus
Junior Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 13


0 posted 1999-09-29 04:00 PM


I remember that once I had what I felt was true love. It may have in fact been my first love. Though we've been apart for some time now, I know that she will forever have a special piece of me with her. I wrote this for her while we were seeing each other.

Last breath

Two souls brought together,
By the world's truest passion,
Souls that know,
No boundary only compassion,
Am I so lucky,
As to be blessed with you?
You're love, so pure,
Has been seen by so few,
They'll wonder what they missed,
Soon, they will all ask,
As I am loving you,
'Till my breath takes it's last,
My heart beats a thousand times for you,
As it is filled with amor,
To live one day without you,
I'd rather it beat no more,
I'm here to love and protect you,
To throw my coat over the mud,
To keep you safe in times of despair,
And keep you dry from the flood,
So I lift you high,
And I hold you very near,
I try to warm your heart,
And calm all your fears,
No fears and no worries,
For the future or the past,
Just loving you forever,
'Till my breath takes it's last,
No images or shadows,
Nor smoke or mirror,
Could distort my feelings,
Or help me see any clearer,
I know you are the one,
who was meant to be with me,
So soon will everyone know,
That we shall forever be,
I wish that time would slow,
For it passes by so fast,
But I know I'll still love you,
'Till my breath takes it's last,
Through thick and thin,
Through bad times and good,
I'll be there with you,
When you thought no one could,
I would climb mountains high,
I'd walk long on land,
Just to say by your side,
Where, eternally, I'll stand,
Tomorrow and forever,
Over time spread vast,
I'll always love you,
Even after my breath takes its last.

I'm very open to criticism and anything you might think I could do to be a better poet, if you have any suggestions, just let me know. Thanks.

Spartacus




------------------
Amor Vincit Omnia:
Love Conquers All

© Copyright 1999 Spartacus - All Rights Reserved
Mystic Essence
Junior Member
since 1999-09-29
Posts 28

1 posted 1999-09-29 09:38 PM


I personally found this to be a very beautiful poem. Quite sweet and moving, I am impressed.

------------------
My tears are but a glimpse into the fiery tempest of my soul.~© Althea Willow, 1999~

Mark4Him@juno.com
Junior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 36
Whitesboro,NY,USA
2 posted 1999-09-29 09:44 PM


Very sweet.I can hear how completely you'd given yourself to this girl.Would you say that you were in love? Do you believe you can fall in love only once? The reason I ask is,I think I may be in love,but I don't know how to tell for sure.How can one be sure, do you think?Life is full of so many questions,love full of so many more.Your poem was so dedicated and full of devotion.Very beautiful.You're really good with imagery.

Melissa

[This message has been edited by Mark4Him@juno.com (edited 09-29-1999).]

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
3 posted 2007-11-13 07:44 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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