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Teen Poetry #1

Untitled (please comment)

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 1999-09-27 11:16 PM

Forgive me Love, I'm truly sorry
Meaningless dreams form in my head
Love plays a role in this wonderful story
Mythical hero without a mission ahead
Love’s open eyes in me find appealing
Uniqueness of faith and likeness of feeling

[This message has been edited by Master (edited 09-29-1999).]

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

1 posted 1999-09-27 11:51 PM

Intersting format ... I like it!

Nocht

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

2 posted 1999-09-28 12:14 PM

I agree with Nocht, the format is interesting, and I liked it too. Theres good imagery in this too, but I think you just left it at that, imagery. Its like an unfinished sentence, a subject without an action. Maybe I am missing something....could you perhaps enlighten me a bit?

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

3 posted 1999-09-29 07:47 PM

nah.. you're right, I'm not too impressed with this one myself. I just like that line a lot and I wanted to try this style, turned out kind of hard.

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

4 posted 2007-11-13 07:44 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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