»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #1
»
What noone understands.
| Teen Poetry #1 |
|
What noone understands. |
|
|
Maitay Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 158Sisters,OR,USA |
Noone knows the whole truth, all that you and I did, all the things that we never told anyone.You ran right past all my barriers. Now they all think that I am insane since I cant let you go. Your friend truly pissed me off when he said to just let it go. That makes me know that you never told him as much as he thought you did. That you were never what you told him you were. I never could tell you about what happened to me when I was little or how my family life was, I showed you a fake little life that I created so that noone would raeach another one of my weaknesses. I hurt so damn much and every time I let go you stupid mother ****er, you come back with a ****ing email or a letter to say that you are sorry about the way you treated me, that you didn't realize how much it hurt. I am like a little yo yo that you can pull in or push away, never feeling an ounce of guilt. They never know what we did,what I did, what you did, what I let you do. They think that all is knowledge to the world, but we both know what they dont know. I hate the fact that you can rule my life, not that I am obsessed, that I fell in love, and when you are lonely, you claim love also. It makes me look like an idiot. Not that, that is a new thing. I wish that you had never said anything to me, that I had never done things to make you jealous, I hate that I let me get used. That I want to say goodbye, since you were so rude as not to. I hate you with every pulse that surges through my viens, yet I hide it most the time, because people think I am an insecure childesh girl who hold on to things. How I wish that they could just read what happened like a book, know every detail, and hate you as much as I do. I want to try every dangerous thing in the world to prove to you that I am more then what you think of me. More then what they think of me. As repetitive as this is, I want them to know what I am, and why I hate you becuase how much I once loved you. ------------------ ~The price of finding love is to eventually lose it. When I wish on a falling star, I wish not for material goods but to show kindness to others and be content with what the world may offer me~ ~Maitay Mirabel Litton~ |
||
| © Copyright 1999 Ember - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Maitay Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 158Sisters,OR,USA |
My freind heather said she likes it. well that is the only responce so far.  |
||
|
Tinfang Gelion Junior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 14Rochester |
I wrote something almost exactly like this... much regrets.... At the time I had few friends, I was a very lonely person. At least I'm out of that tragic state!!!! I will write it all out now so you can check it out! I like the way you speak your feelings on this one.  |
||
|
Tinfang Gelion Junior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 14Rochester |
I have no friends, do I? The only ones I can think of are very, very far away. I feel sick and terrible the way things are going for me right now, I am in a mental block state. I have been this way for a long time, but I find it hard to stop. I wonder if I have depression, but hey, that is extremely hellish of something to blunder about. Am I ruining my life for a lost cause? I don't want to become too smart, I don't want to ruin my life being rich. I want to lead a life in which I can enjoy what I do completely. I don't want to have to be stuck around other people who think that work is life, and that there is no escape out of the plague in which all is contained. I am teaching myself humility, but it is hard. I am viewing a catastrophe within myself. I am afraid that I am never going to be able to live the proper way, I am afraid that I am tormented as to the thunderous valley of a waterfall. What am I, the utmost idiot? Yeah, I feel that way. I am lazy those days, and I am afraid taht advice will laugh in my face and kill me. Others are trying to help me but I shut them all out. I do not understand what is going on, in other words, I am very confused. I want to say, "I am of no avail, I am only a brick that has no life and many small scars on itself." I hate time, and I hate people who tell me that time and work is everything. I hate the time since when time was created, man created it and man made it to hurt. Time is fire, it closes onto something then consumes it up and leaves behind ashes, the remains of what once had been there. You, all people, who read this, you are mindless, blind, and discriminative to what I try to say. No matter how hard you try, there will be always one thing you have against what I say. But try this, once and all, try to see through this. This is a mirror, in which you stare straight at something and miss the important perspective of what is going on. This is like trying to run a thousand miles. You couldn't finish even with all the willpower you had, not all at once. Your muscles in your leg will cause you to collapse, and you will realize that you must stop to rest once in a while ( as to think once in a while. ) This is the end of what I have to help you on, and laugh at yourself if you're lost now. You're just as lost as I am. I am lost everywhere, no matter where, there will always be a big boulder standing in my way. Think of this, this is about me, not you. I say this about me, not you. You can say you understand, but your words are only as good as you say them. Or your words are only as good as the purpose in which it is contained. I will not explain anything to you, whether you think I have the answers or not. I can fix myself, but I can not repair a deep scar that keeps on bleeding. You all ruthless people, you expect something exciting to happen at this moment. Go buy candy and eat them up, choke yourself, and wake up with no stomach. I am a pathetic lunatic, alright, so all you need to do now is think about what I have said. I am all wet with something more to say. ........................................................................................ It has been 5 years since I wrote this. Time can do great wonders on oneself. I'm out of this confusion.... fortunately..... but the side-effects of loneliness still remain in the heart. |
||
|
Tinfang Gelion Junior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 14Rochester |
Another thing I must say, is that I had a burning hatred for my father for a long time after he spoke negatively towards me several times, and used the belt on me when I was five years old. He has realized his mistake now. I forgive him.... Try to forgive your mother....... she might have truly made mistakes. If you make mistakes, cannot she? And if you can realize, cannot she? |
||
|
Maitay Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 158Sisters,OR,USA |
Thanks, that was one of the best replies I have ever gotten. I liked what you had to say, ya, it's good toknow that I'm not the only one going through what I do. Ya'll have a good night. ------------------ ~The price of finding love is to eventually lose it. When I wish on a falling star, I wish not for material goods but to show kindness to others and be content with what the world may offer me~ ~Maitay Mirabel Litton~ |
||
|
Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
