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fallen angel
| Teen Poetry #1 |
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fallen angel |
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maskeraid New Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 3 |
the angel you see is falling fast beauty seen clearly is only a mask can't you see? the angel so high is not meant to be so far up in the sky you see her there thinking you know it's right she hides herself and the tears she cries alone at night the angel you see is a fallen one failed will you still love her when her tears you have trailed? |
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| © Copyright 1999 maskeraid - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
I really liked that one  |
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StratMatt Member
since 1999-09-19
Posts 87Macomb, IL, U.S.A. |
this poem is well written. It flows very well and shows a lot of thought. The only thing I have to criticize is the lines: "beauty seen clearly/is only a mask." Beauty seen unclearly is a mask, but if I thought of seeing Beauty clearly, I would think of seeing a person's beauty as a whole, their true physical beauty, meaning without makeup in the case of ladies, as well as the beauty within them. So in my honest belief, I feel that set of lines could use improvement, but otherwise this poem is a very good piece of work. ------------------ "Lost time is never found again." -Ben Franklin. |
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