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Kinda hard to say...
| Feelings |
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Kinda hard to say... |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand 
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I really dont know wat my feelings are but i'm just gonna say wat i feel and shove it down. I dont feel i can comunicate with the people i really need to comunicate with. like my family. i really cant speak to them about anything for some reason. They dont even know i go on PIPTALK cuz i dnt feel like telling my parents i like to write poems and express myself. ive read one of my poems to my mum before and she raised her eyebrows like i was some weirdo. Understandable cuz i kinda am. but i really want her to know the real me. she thinks im innocent and just a normal kid and all my frends at scool think writings really gay but i love it i really dont no wat to do please reply with answers or suggestions. In the bible on angels have wings, and the rest must wait to be saved - Jewel |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
there are no easy answers for this..but... the kids at school are going to find something wrong with everyone no matter how great you/everyone are. so, they may think writing is "gay" but its one of the better ways to be teased. you know how powerful words are, so use them to your advantage. you believe in yourself and you can overcome this. stay true to what is inside of you no matter how hard the path is to walk. in time, everyone will come to respect the place you have forged for yourself in the world (even your parents). times can be difficult when you are young and feel like the world looks at you through carnival mirrors...but when you truly reflect for yourself, then thats what really matters....always keep in touch with yourself and all your relationships/friendships will be healthier. you should be proud of being unique  even if your mother raises an eyebrow, try to sit her down and explain your poetry and how it fits into your life....she will learn to accept this...patience is needed from both of you. i hope all goes well |
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Vagabond Member
since 2004-01-23
Posts 163 |
Do what you wish ignore the people at school. I've always done what i wanted regaurdless of their wishes for me to do what they want Vagabon the Lost One |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
There is no shame in writing poetry. |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
hey butiful. i feel exactly the same. i told greer bot PiP and she literally laughed out loud. i close down any windows when mums around the computer cus she thinks i got porblems cus i write about wat i do, yaknow depression, alone-ness, my feelings. i read mum part of my short story/long poem "The day you broke and rab" and she got very worried and asked wat was bothering me then sed "wat? are you some kind of depressed freal?" thats when i stopped bothering to tell anyone what i wrote. i think parents are like that because they never felt like we do now, never had so much pressure, so much going on, etc etc. i told emmas frend wat i write, and she sed emma does as well, which really surprised me. but i could never bring myself to show emma wat i write. i think poetry/writing is kinda special when only you know what its about. communication is one of things you either have or you dont. you know i can never express myself to some ones face, thats how me n greer have most of our fights, because i can never tell her whats going on with me. i wouldnt even bother totry to explain yourself to your parents. look bak to some of my poems. like underneath. or sumthing like that. ive been through all of this laura. i know wat its like to feel a fraud. its hard. i still go back to it. just dont give in like i did. the people who think they know you dont. sean and jenn and nathan just gopt a taster of wat im like when im "having a bad day" on friday. i felt sorry for them. almost. my advice, dont bother talking to your parents. or whoever. they wpnt get it becus they simply dont want to. they dont wnat to understand why their daughter, who in their eyes is still a baby, is writing about such depressing stuff. they wont see the beauty of it, all they will see is the dark side. i swear. heres a quote from finger 11 for you: "never tell your friends, they never understand, confessions only burn themselves in the fire". its true. this is really long i know. but you cant find answerrs in short pathetic replies. just remember, dont give in. and courtneys signature: not matter how long the night may seem, dawn will break. or sumthing like that... btw cant be bothered spell checking. so make do with wat you got. You can always hear a tear in Cobain's voice, the pain going on there is always visible through his lyrics - Marilon Manson [This message has been edited by Nan (03-08-2004 08:04 PM).] |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
thank you so much soph REALY THANKYOU THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL lol i am too suprised. Its great to find that out tho about your sister that she likes to do the same. that made me smile. thanxya so much (hu am i tryna be) HARDCORE (NOT U BTW) LOR In the bible on angels have wings, and the rest must wait to be saved - Jewel |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
I remember the first poem i ever read to my mother. It was about a girl who committed suicide. And she thought I was nuts. She took me home, sat me down at the table in the kitchen and made me write "happy, not twisted" poetry for a few days. It was kind of scary. Eventually, she grew out of it. And if they're really your friends, they'll accept you for who you are and what you like/dislike, not what they like or dislike. |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
"I don't feel I can communicate with the people I really need to communicate with" I felt that too. It sucks. I remember one time I was driving and it was like my own soul screamed out in my mind - I just want someone to love me! I thought that thought a hundred thousand times through highschool, and earlier. All I can say is you have feelings for a reason, your stomach growls when its hungry, your feelings point out when something is out of whack. You have a gift to write, you are a unique person - you are awesome. "But I really want her to know the real me" Kids scare (edit) parents, and it steals communication. My mom never did know me, because she couldn't communicate with me, and I totally shut her out, all the while wishing for acceptance and love. This is what I think - emotions are good, but they should make a person sit down and think, why am I feeling this, what is my problem, and then try to solve the problem. However, lies can make us feel certain emotions that lead to destructive habits or actions. Lies like you suck, you worthless idiot, nothing good will ever happen to you, no one loves you, no one will ever love you. And when there's a lie floating through the headspace, a person can say no and tell themselves the truth. Anyway, that's what I've had to do, because as much as I felt unloved, ugly and rejected, I wasn't. Maybe to some degree, but I had to just recognize it was only some people who thought that. And I had to learn to like myself and not let everyone else tell me what I was, I could decide for myself who I was. And I'm a writer,(along with some other things) just like you - and writers are awesome people! Just another note, I bought into a lot of negativity, namely some occult stuff; it contributed to some really bad stuff, scary, powerful stuff - I had to leave that behind. [This message has been edited by Nan (03-08-2004 08:07 PM).] |
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Edder Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671 |
I learned early in life that poetry was not something to be shared, but that was before the internet and places like this. Guess I dated myself with that remark. |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
you know what i would say to the kids at my school. chances are if they think this then they have no way to express themselves and they are either jealous or something else. i dunno. but seriously. thats stupid. goodness. -ri i'm sitting in the dark....waiting... waiting for you to see me. [This message has been edited by Ron (03-08-2004 10:35 AM).] |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I think I would write a poem about anyone who teased me, then laugh myself silly deciding whether or not to give it to them or not Sometimes it is only because a person doesn't understand what makes another tick that they give it a label. You have two choices that come to my mind, ignore them, or show them what you do. I would tend to try the second - followed by the first. Who knows you might be able to start a poetry writing group with some new friends?Today I'm only moving clouds, tomorrow I'll try mountains. |
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silhouetted Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537New Zealand |
No i really dont mind that my friends dont appreciate my interest in poetry and writing. Its basically for myself. I mean we were read this poem in the daily notices a valentines poem and it was really well written and everyone laughed. Yes i laughed to because it was rather cheesy, but i felt in a way like they were laughing at me. It also made me think they were a bit selfish because they dont understand good writing when they hear it. I just kept thinking, would they laugh if a poem of mine was read out? But if they knew it was mine would they still? See i really dont care much for that anymore. My poetry is for myself, and myself alone. thanks heaps any way guys. LOR Call no man happy till he is dead. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This reminds me of a story...smile? I used to be a closet poet too. I wrote a poem in English class, a love poem to a very secret crush too. (In high school I was so shy I could hardly speak to anyone--much less tell that new guy that I wanted to..well, you know) But I thought I'd slipped it into my handy dandy pocket folder, but obviously now, I hadn't, because it wasn't there. I was horrified too, knowing someone might find it. Then I thought, "it's cool--I didn't put my name on it!" Whoever found it would never know I'd written it, or even who it was for. I went on to gym class, unhappy that I'd lost the poem I'd just written, but very glad for the favor of anonymity. I was sitting there with the other girls on the side of the stage (the gym had doubled as an auditorium) when one of my friends said, "You all want to hear some poetry?" Not kidding. She pulled out my lost poem, and very mockingly read: "Take my hand, you'll be surprised how easy it is with nothing to hide. Come walk with me and share some wine Let's seek a truth and forget old times when we were strangers to each other. Let's find out if we are make wishes on some falling stars-- heaven can't be very far with God so very close. So talk to me. You make me smile. Listen to the wind awhile. Take my hand. You'll be surprised." I swear to you I was sweating as she read it too. But I knew I had a choice right then and there--so I just looked at her (and yes, the girls were laughing as she was quite humorous about the presentation, and hey? Let's face it, it is a cheesy love poem) But I just looked at her and asked, "You making fun of my poetry?" And suddenly the joke was on her. She thought I was joking (she hoped that I was) and immediately started "back-pedaling" saying, "NOooooooooooooooo---I love this. Did you write this? REALLY?" I told her that yes and I'd like it back so I could put it in my journal too. It wasn't an assignment, and they couldn't believe I'd written it just to write it either. But when she handed that paper back to me, I claimed a piece of my own dignity too. That sounds dramatic, but for a shy girl with social anxiety, prone to anxiety attacks, it was a huge personal victory. And by the way? There were even a few people who wanted to read more of my "stuff". Claim your poetry lady. "you'll be surprised how easy it is with nothing to hide"  |
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aujussy wolf
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215Michigan |
Be Yourself . or die wishing you had "It's great to be alive" |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
Chick, i know how ya feel. All of my old freinds didnt understand me at all. i finally found a best freind who does, and writes poetry too, but before that, well... I just know how ya feel. My mom/family used to think the same about me, until i got caught doing some stuff i shouldnt be, now they dont trust anything i say or do, but hey, i did the cirme, so i guess the next phrase is "so i gotta do the time!" (3 months) ANYWAYS, -lol- I dont know what to tell you about the whole family thing, sorry. I, UNFORTUNATELY, was umm... the correct word i think would be CURSED with a very.... intertwined-into-every-ones buisness kinda family.-lol- *like that dude up there said, ^^^ , be yourself with them. Maybe that'll help. I dunno. I hope the other poeple on this thing give better advice, cuz i totally suck in that area.** ~Vampire Kisses  I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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