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Just wonder.....
| Feelings |
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Just wonder..... |
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Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach 
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I just wonder how it feels to "fit in." Ya...fit in....that's the ticket. [This message has been edited by Nightshade (11-16-2003 04:38 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Chris Barker - All Rights Reserved | |||
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Chris, I'm not at all certain why you posted this. Is it because you are disappointed with the number of replies to your poems. I think fitting in requires hanging when things aren't going well. Build on disappointments...turn them around...stay and fight the good fight! believe in what your heart feels... |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
So we have to "fight" to fit in? lol. just kidding scorpio. I believe that when one has been considered "not up to standards" so to speak, for a long time, acceptance is like finding the pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. I have been told just recently that I was a "disappointment"......how do you build on that? I am not referring to poetry either. Guess I am just venting....or maybe wishing...or both. Thanks for responding to this silly post. hugs, Chris |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
"Disappointment" implies expectations, Chris. You are responsible only for what you do, not what others do, and the latter necessarily includes what they allow themselves to "expect." If they are "disappointed," that's their problem, not yours. Really, can you think of even a single reason why anyone should feel it's necessary to live up to someone else's expectations? Set your own standards, accept only those standards, and the only person you need fear disappointing will be yourself. And those are shoes we all have to wear occasionally.  |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thanks Ron. Gee, you sound like my shrink!! lol....but that's a good thing. Possibly yes, more than possibly, I HAVE tried to live up to other's standards. That's a tiring thing to do from age five on. Especially since the standards become higher and higher as the years go on. So, what can you do if you live in a shoe? Move to a boot and get laced. Hmmm....never could understand what that meant.  By the way, your a really nice human being. I think I'll keep ya....hee hee. |
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Miah Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062Pennsylvania |
It's hard to fit into a group when that group is so tightly nit. That does not mean anything is wrong with you. It's wierd though, some places you fit right in and other places it never happens. Such is life, don't lose any sleep over it. Nothing is worse then going to a new school when your a kid, people have already made their friends, it takes time. Me, I'll talk to anyone and make friends with everyone. I go to another forum, not dealing with poetry though, and I made tons of friends some even live near by and come over and visit. Other forums I go to not so good luck. Don't get down on yourself, everyone feels left out once in awhile. Just know your a great person and people should be so lucky to know you. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thanks Miah. I also belong to two or three other forums...none of them involved with poetry, and have made many friends. None of them have any "close knit groups" as far as I have seen. Maybe that's why I second guess myself in Passions and there really isn't any need to. I put unneeded pressure on myself, instead of allowing the joy of simply composing. I don't know....I'm just a worrier I guess. hugs! |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Yes look for the support and appreciation in the replies not the number of replies. believe in what your heart feels... |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
fitting in is over rated, all you need is a small group of people who like and accept you for who you are...screw everyone else, i am me and if ytou dont like it then thats your prolbem not mine, sorry for that little rant i have just been persicuted in the past for my dress, looks, beliefs or lack of, i never fit in, nor did i want to, you gotta be you! "So what befalls the flawless? |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
lol.. fitting in huh? I'd say something wise, but in this case I have no real wisdom to impart.. ( big surprise) I will say, however, that the feeling of not fitting in can be very hard to come to grips with, and only time and our own efforts to learn to deal with just being ourselves ever makes it any easier... I'll offer a hug???? if it helps??? |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
eor - oh, but I think you do want to fit in. Otherwise why would you post any of your poetry? To be ignored? I don't think so. You are as human as any of us and as a human being, we need not so much the applause per say of others, but the acceptance. I accept you as a kind person for responding to my post. Thankyou & Bless You. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Cpat. I am blushing. Yes, I would love a hug!! It's been a difficult couple of years for me. After overcoming that breakdown in 2002, I was left with a new outlook on life, yet an old feeling of insecurity. Someday I will write about it. Till then, I am gonna try really hard to just be "me" whoever that is, and live in the moment. At the moment, I am feeling a little embarrassed for whining. This too shall pass. Thankyou so much for caring. Bless You. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Have faith dear lady...you control your destiny...no one else does...and how far you walk is your own choice...be realistic about your personal expectations and try to think positive...don't dwell on things that make you sad or were from "then" and not from "now"... Easy words to say, difficult to do....but can be...one step at a time... I know, I have been there too... |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Magnus my friend, I thank you and send you big hugs!! |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
There is an abundance of good advice from the people at this place. I don't know what direction I would have taken if it weren't for many of my friends here. Listen to them, they are all very right. |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
nightshade-i don't post my poetry to fit in, i post it because i love writing it and i know the wonderful people on this site love reading poetry. so i post for that reason alone, sure being recognized is a plus, but thats is not why i write or post, i do both as one a sort of therapy for myself, and also because if only one poem i ever write only touches one person or helps one person get through a tough time or understand their not alone, thats why i write and post. just so you know i an not trying to be definsive or argue i just want to let you know where i am comming from. and 'fitting in' is so relitive, yeah i 'fit in' with my friends because they love and accepct me for who i am, not who i try to be, same here wiht this site we all accept and love each other for the person with in. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Masked Intruder & eor, You guys are great. As are so many people at Passions. I am better now - lol - I was having a "basement moment" the day I posted this thread, and since that time I have done alot of soul searching, and pondering of the comments to my question. We are all unique, and as my husband so often says, "that's why we all have different fingerprints." He also says to me, "Live in the moment Chris."....boy is he right on that point. Hugs & God Bless. |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
Fitting in isnt the ticket, believing in yourself no matter how many times people rag on you and put you down, now that, that is the ticket. "fitting in" is where people act the same and expect you to act like them too. Now tell me, who wants to fit in when they can be their selves! I know i dont wanna "fit in" ~kissa~ **~kissa~** |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
who fits in? and btw i LOVE the new pic damn womann you are beautiful |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
kissa - You have some good points there. I guess I was having a "basement moment" when I posted this. Thankyou. Helen - Yes, I guess there are more "square pegs" than round ones when you think about it. Aww..shucks..thanks for the compliment....but it's just cause the pic is dark and artsy...lol. |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
Anytime. I have been there too. I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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