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| Feelings |
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Question |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
If you used to date someone from the past and its been years..... You have your own life, married and have kids Why does curiosity take the better of us. What makes us feel we need to go back and ask "why" or "settle the score?" |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
The inability to accept an unscripted and perhaps unhappy ending. |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
I dont know why...but i do wonder....The unknown drives people to do whatever they can jsut to know, and sometimes it is something stupid...I hope you figure it out.. Kissa I ask why, but in my mind, |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
Thanks for the replies. I am actually asking for one of my friends whom is going through this. She isn't sure how to feels...if its right or wrong since she is married. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I don't know what you mean by settle the score? But if you mean revenge, then that's wrong....best to stay away...marriage is a sacred blessing...not to be tampered with. Good Luck |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
I don't mean settle the score as far as revenge. I mean settle it by trying to figure out what went wrong or maybe explain why things went wrong. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Whewwww, Thanks for clearing the air... well, a person's gotta do what they gotta do, but if it were me and I was married, I wouldn't even go there... let sleeping dogs rest? |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
I guess it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out, just a questions. She had dated this guy for a couple of years and really loved him, then they broke up on bad terms. Years later met someone else and got married. They have had no contact for the past 7 years, so she called him just to see how he was. Still, it seemed there was amimosity there even after all this time. Maybe she feels guilty about just picking up the phone. Curiosity I guess. |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
/pip/Forum29/HTML/001736.html |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I was thinking about this and perhaps you could addess the issue this way... First ask her how she would honestly feel if her hubby felt the same way? Second, ask her if she would be able to discuss this with her hubby and ask his views and approval to meet this other gentleman....and would he like to go along. If not? Good luck and hugs |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
"Second, ask her if she would be able to discuss this with her hubby and ask his views and approval to meet this other gentleman....and would he like to go along." She better say no because he will remember. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
She better say no because he will remember. Precisely my point |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
So what if he has cheated on her. Not that her intention is to cheat on him. She has been very faithful to him!!! |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
oh boy, this is a loaded gun question Depends on the person...so I'll speak for myself here... Darlin, at my age, if I thought someone special enough to share life with him...as an us...and he cheated on me...I would leave him...without a doubt... Two wrongs do not make a right, actually what he did, does not give her permission to do it, as well....it is deception, one of which there is no excuse for...and personally, it would be a great infidelity to self... If your asking for a reason to approve this type of behavior, there is none. But, this is my point of view... Sometimes two people can work things out...maturely and with a great deal of patience and understanding....I've seen it done....people do make mistakes, they don't mean, and by God would never go there again...so, it depends on the two people involved....and I'm not advising anyone to leave their spouse...just vocalizing that I cannot deal with infidelity nor breaking trust. Not at my age. Smiles and hugs |
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JoshG Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 127TX, USA |
Amen... nicely said LeeJ |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
“So what if he has cheated on her. “ Then for her it is over and something less than what she thinks she may have had before with another has replaced it. [This message has been edited by Huan Yi (11-29-2004 09:12 PM).] |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
So what if he has cheated on her. “ Then for her it is over and something less than what she thinks she may have had before with another has replaced it. Dear John, I believe I've answered this in my last post...what I would do, as I cannot tolerate infidelity...but it may not be the answer for someone else...but for certain....to cheat on a spouse, regardless of their actions against the marriage, there is no excuse for...it's a violation of trust...and once trust is broken...well, I couldn't go back....maybe ahead, it would depend on the spouse...one thing for certain....one thing to keep in mind, if he did it to me, then perhaps it wasn't the first time, and won't be the last? Depends on the character of the person? People do make mistakes....but I couldn't live like that. I wouldn't. NO if's and's or but's. It would be over. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I think that the decision should rest on the answer to one question already posed... and that is about the husband being told... If there is concern about it, because of fear of anger or other emotions that can surface....sometimes jealousy...amongst others.... Sheesh, bottom line with me is that if the shoes were on the other foot...(HE called a HER) vice SHE called a HE.... How would you feel then? Good luck...my vote is leave it alone, let it lie and die.... |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
Magnus, I agree, there’s no going back. |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
LeeJ Completely agree with you. Just a question. It's not like it takes a rocket scientist to figure it out, but sometimes people stay in hopes that it won't happen again. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
ahhhh, yes, they do, and I know that particular senerio very well. Also have known people who have worked it out...as I said, some people make serious mistakes and learn from them, never to repeat them, others don't. and yes, I know it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure things out...simply thought I was contributing to the conversation, as I love to share thoughts. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
And you do it beautifully Lee...from the heart of a woman who has walked many trails in her years.... You contribute very well. |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
I didn't mean that in a negative way what-so-ever. I love your comments, advice and your poems....  It's tough to make decisions like that but I think they will work on it!!! |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I am wishing your friends the best...and hope all works out the way they would like it to...until then, it's been my pleasure sharing...thank you |
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