Feelings |
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This place looks so forlorn! |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap ![]() |
So I'm going to throw something out there, something I think quite a few of us here can relate to ... On the subject of internet relationships ... people meeting over the web and falling in love before they've ever met in person ... what type of things do you think someone should do to ensure their emotional (not to mention physical) safety? I am currently involved in such a relationship, and I am firmly convinced that this gentleman hung the moon, to use a very bad cliche. My close (non-internet) friends, however, think I have gone over the edge and descended into the realm of madness, not only because I am in love with a person I have never met but because I have arranged to meet this person in the near future. Don't get me wrong; I know that many people use this medium to live their fantasies, and become someone they're not ... in the case of my love, I have made a judgement call and decided that he is who he claims to be, and deserving of my love and esteem. I, personally, have believed that 95% of love is all mental, extending even into the physical side of it: lovemaking is largely mental as well. My friends think that I cannot possibly be in love without ever having been in physical proximity and/or contact. Who is right, and why..? ------------------ "Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus" (Now as I hear this bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.") |
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© Copyright 1999 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Way back in June, when I still had time to update the main site as often as I'd like, I wrote an introduction to a very special poem, by a poet named Lloyd Klumpp. It was our "Poem of the Day" (posted weekly, at best), and I selected it both because it was good and because it gave me the opportunity to talk about something I found increasingly important. I still believe these words today, more so than ever. I've always thought of myself as a romantic. I believe in Love and, more, I believe in the expression of Love, and I've always thought my preoccupation with feelings made me a romantic. I have only recently realized, however, that I'm also something of a cynic. Those of you who would like to read the poem, titled ICQ, can find it here. And for those of you who might be curious, every single one of the individuals mentioned in my introduction (though not by name) are Members here in the forums. Those stories, like all of the others here in this real world called the Internet, are still being written... [This message has been edited by Ron (edited 09-27-1999).] |
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suthern![]() ![]()
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Nocht: There aren't any guarantees with internet relationships... I've known people who were very hurt from a face to face meeting and I've known some who were overjoyed. But when you think about it, there aren't any guarantees, period. However they meet, some couples will find happiness and some will find heartache. When it first became obvious to my family and friends that I was starting to care deeply for an internet friend, I got all the horror stories and head shaking. And though I didn't expect them to understand something I was adjusting to myself, I did wonder at all the concern... these same people would have thought nothing of me going on a date with someone I'd just met if I'd met him through more traditional means. So my question to them was.... how can you nod in acceptance of me spending time with someone based on nothing more than mutual physical attraction and shudder at the thought of me meeting someone I've shared my heart and soul with for months? And if love develops, which has the firmer foundation? So many relationships crumble because there's no communication.... Black and white words are so easy to misinterpret, so I believe an internet couple doesn't even exist unless they've learned to really talk to one another. How honest that communication is will depend, of course, on the people involved. |
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JTF Member
since 1999-08-09
Posts 319France |
I think Auntie hit the point ... you can fall in love with someone you've never physically met but with whom you've shared your heart and soul ... The people I know who met first through the Net and then decided to meet in person, have been talking together for months before making that step ... and they probably knew more about each other than "traditionnal" couples. I don't think it's a new world order ... there are stories of people who fell in love through the exchange of letters ... but the Net who connects millions of people over the world and above all creates zillions of communities (PIP being one of them) is giving a new dimension to the phenomenon. Now it's true that deception is a lot easier over the Net ... it's much more difficult to know that someone is lying when you can't see their eyes and when you don't have the body language ... and unfortunately the Internet community isn't wacko-free, so I will always recommend that you, especially you ladies, take a minimum of precautions before a first in-person-meeting (having his phone number, picking up the meeting place, telling a friend where you go and who you're going to meet). To conclude on an happy note, let me tell you that when you see her for the first time and realise that every thing you imagined or dreamed about her is true ... wow !!! ... it's magical ![]() [This message has been edited by JTF (edited 09-29-1999).] |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Noch: Story time but real life story time..:-)) Almost 2 years ago this man popped into my life and to be honest I didn't much like him to start with, found him crude (definitely not me) but as time went on, he changed, became more gentle if you like...he kept asking for my ICQ number and kept losing it..LOL...eventually I started to look forward to this man and his humour, he made me laugh and I him....some 5 months later he suggested we meet and so we did...he was everything I thought he'd be and I presume I was to him... The relationship went on for just under another year, during which we met again for 5 days...we had reached a point where we could share everything, talk about the most deepest of feelings and be at ease with each other, we could argue and make up, listen to each other, you name it, the perfect relationship, sadly, he ended up making a decision that didn't include me, but for him was the right decision and involved other people, little people and in the same situation, who knows what I would ahve done... Summarising...Yes, I met the love of my life and he met the love of his life but loving someone doesn't mean all will be ok, wish it did.... HUGS ------------------ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. [This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 09-29-1999).] |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Thank you all for reading and responding. suthern: you just repeated verbatim what I have been trying to pound into my friends' and family's heads for months: there are NEVER any guarantees. If a person is a psychopath, they are no more likely to admit it if you met them in person than if you met them on the net. Contrary to popular belief, most psychopaths do not exhibit telltale "strange" behaviors at all times so that they can be recognized as such. Thus, meeting in person right away has no advantage other than increasing the amount of inhibitions and nervousness both persons experience, and that is NOT a plus in my book. JTF, I think you made a very good point when you said that the average 'net couple knows each other much better than the "traditional" first-date couple. The gentleman that I am currently involved with knows some things about me that even my MOTHER doesn't know; as far as I am concerned, meeting in person is simply a formality (albeit a yummy one; see my posts on that subject in Adult! ![]() Rainbow, I am SO sorry that your 'net romance turned out that way; believe me, it isn't the first sad story I have heard about 'net romance, or romance in general, and I am sure it will not be the last. LOL ... a story that my friend told me comes to mind when she and a 'net date met and spent the entire afternoon shopping ... for HIM! I believe her exact words were "The guy didn't even offer to buy me an ice cream cone ..." So, big surprise, there are the good and the bad ... just like life, whoda thunk it..? I choose to believe that I have stumbled upon one of the very good ones, and no suggestions of friends or threats from family are going to keep me from wanting and loving him. (end of speech) Nocht |
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IsabelleSkye Member
since 1999-06-27
Posts 253 |
Here's a poem I wrote about my experience with a "Net-Meeting". I was lucky in the guy I met. He was wonderful and sweet and a gentleman. I do miss him now that our lives have ended up on different paths. I guess fate has her hand in alot of things. *sigh* I.Skye unknown sky my feet carried my heart down a path I'd not traversed before the air carried a scent, wild and free I knew not what it foretold or what I should find if my course continued so the sky cracked with thunder's ire the earth shook to it's very core the sea creatures gave rise to their haunting refrain as rocks and trees, mountains and waters all chorused in a melodic chime the winds spake your name to my heart before my mind e'er knew it's exsistence my lips longed for the sweet fruit of your kiss though my eyes had ne'er drowned in the tides of yours the breeze whispered your love to me on the currents of an unknown sky |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
I. Skye, that was absolutely beautiful! I know exactly how you feel ... ![]() Nocht |
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Colin Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596Callington, Cornwall, England |
Yes, you truly can fall in love over the internet. Fall so deeply in love that it takes you hold as you get to know the person you fall in love with soul to soul. You haven't got the distractions and awkwardnesses sometimes found in face to face meetings, you just get to know each other. I fell in love with someone on the net. It was a slow process, which both of us tried to fight cos we didn't want to open our hearts to the possibility of being hurt. Well, love crept up on us and we were unabvle to fight it and it ended up being wonderful. We know each other better than anyone in the whole world knows us. We met, and I spent the happiest week of my life with the woman I still love with all my heart. I've just learned that officially "our lives have ended up on different paths". Sad because we still love each other and I know we always will. In summary, yes you can fall in love on the net and just like any other love, you can have your heart broken on the net. |
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Lucie Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077Houston |
My brother and a girl met on the net in December of 98, met in January of 99, and married in June.. weird but true.. and they seem happy.. who am I to judge.. ![]() |
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