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Heavens Tears
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since 2001-03-15
Posts 677


0 posted 2001-07-13 03:36 PM


I feel like I have to hide everything in my life.  I know most people do feel like they are hiding part of themselves and all, but I feel like I cant tell anyone about the real me.  My parents dont even really know me.  I have figured out that my life is well balanced enough to everyone else.  I have family time, and friend time, and "me" time.  I spend all this time writing, and thinking about everything.  But I am so misunderstood by everyone else in my life that even if I finally understand myself enough to know why I do things, I cant exactly explain it to anyone else.  It stinks!!  I just feel like I am ready to explode.  And summertime is making it worse, b/c I hate having any personal conversations over the phone, and very seldom can I talk to anyone in person.  I have one friend who I feel like understands me, but I still have to explain myself so much, it drives me crazy!  

OK, enough of me ranting.  If anyone can give me some advice, it would be so greatly appreciated!!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

© Copyright 2001 Heavens Tears - All Rights Reserved
destiny502
Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 57
OH
1 posted 2001-07-13 09:48 PM


i feel your pain. i dont think anyone knows the real me. ive tried to talk to those who are suppose to be closest to me but i have some crazy thoughts that nobody knows about. im not sure what kind of advice i can give you.
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
2 posted 2001-07-13 10:48 PM


Well, I think it is fairly common to feel like no one gets us. Especially for poets and other sensitive types. I don't even understand myself, so no wonder no one else does. But it's ok, thats what makes us writers.  
Peace
Sandra

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
3 posted 2001-07-14 02:05 AM


I think every one has felt like this at one time or the other....a little lost a lot misunderstood...sometimes its a matter of looking at how YOU are presenting yourself and your thoughts to others....
Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-07-15 03:03 AM


Well I mean.....I know how it is to feel like nobody understands you......but I can acknowledge that not only is it because it's very hard to find true friends, but it's very hard for ME to tell all.
So it's not your friends fault or yours.....it's just a mesh of everythingness hehe.
You can get through this though. Some day you just need to sit down and work your problems out ONE BY ONE....undo this blockage of craziness and establish order.


anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
5 posted 2001-07-15 11:04 AM


I know exactly how you feel. It is not only frustrating feeling this way but it drives you insane. There is a way you can alleviate this annoying situation for a short amount of time. It works like a charm for everyone I've mentioned it to. What you should try is getting yourself into a really deep meditative state but having a pen and paper close by. When you are deep enough you should be able to function without actually functioning and this will enable you to grab the pen and paper and write down every single thing that is going on in that head. Usually people only write what is in the conscious part of their brains and not the subconscious so in doing this you should tap into the part of your brain that may explain a few things. You might write things you never even knew but in the end it could make a hell of a lot of sense.
Good luck and hopefully things will look up for you soon.  

~AF~

Psychopathic chickens are plotting against me...

White Wolf
Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 371
Somewhere in the vast wasteland
6 posted 2001-07-15 02:53 PM


I just had a thought on this.  It may not be true for anyone else but I find it very relevant to me when thinking about or dealing with this subject in my own life.  Puts it into perspective so to speak.  Picture a smooth flowing river.  The flow of this river is the river of your life at any given moment.  Now put various debris floating down that river, which is only natural, such as various pieces of wood and trees.  These piece of wood and trees are the various feeling and emotions that are in our lives.  Eventually a piece of wood or tree is going to get caught on something whether it be the bottom of, a rock in the, or the bank of the river.  When one gets caught others will get caught on the piece that is caught and so one creating a bottleneck, a place where the river narrows then widens again, in the river where some debris get through and some get caught.  Sometimes we even build a bottleneck because there are just too many feelings flowing to deal with them all at one time or in rapid succession.  So only a few of the many feelings and emotions get through and the rest get caught up.  Most people only can see the end of the river at the feelings and emotions that make it all the way through.  It is difficult to explain all the feelings that are actually in the river that are caught up in a bottleneck because they tend to jumble themselves up or there are just too many of them.  This doesn't explain how to make it any easier to express those feelings but the thing that I did was find out what was blocking my river up and removed it.  It happened to be that my fear of abandonment and being hurt was the piece that started my bottleneck and I removed it.  It was difficult to deal with all of the feelings and emotions that came down but I have gotten through most of them and can see the "light at the end of the tunnel" so I do know that it can be done.  I know this is probably difficult to understand but just maybe you do understand what I have written.  Anyway on a side note I used to feel that nobody understood me but as it turned out I have a friend who could see and understand everything about who I really was.  This didn't help any because I didn't want anyone to get that close to me.  But she has been my best friend for ten or more years and we have been through "hell" and back together.    I also can understand most anything people tell me.  I once read some lyrics that a different friend had written and told him what they meant because that is what he wanted me to do.  So if you need someone to talk to you can email me.  My email is in my profile.  I wish you the best.


The White Wolf

If life is just a game, when does it end cause I want to get to what is real.

rosepetals25
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Member Elite
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076
PA
7 posted 2001-07-17 09:09 AM


Heavens Tears,

   I have the same problem. I have always felt that no one has known the real me. A big part of it was an expierence I had in my life that I shared with no one.  Some people now know it.. but still.. I feel the same way.  However, it is getting better as I get older.  I am not near as shy or closed mouth.  I speak my mind more and I'm starting to realize that it doesn't matter what other people think.  I have to do what I have to do.. and believe what I believe.  That is what makes me me.  It'll be awhile before I feel completely free.  I know there wasn't any advice in here really... but I wish you the best of luck

TaraB

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
8 posted 2001-07-17 03:37 PM


All I can say is, YOU TOO?? I know this feeling, but you know..there is always someone out there who understands us better than we give them credit for. Whether it be a friend, family member, or a total stranger who is becoming a friend, there is someone out there who will understand you.
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
9 posted 2001-07-17 09:21 PM


I,too, will say that I totally understand what you feel...and I will agree with Temptress when she says that there is someone out there who knows us more than we give them credit for...or someone we don't know yet...I believe that there is someone meant for everyone, be it a mate for life or merely a friend, not to downplay the significance of a friend, though!  As old-fashioned as that sounds, I always make sure I continue to believe that...and I also believe that I've already been blessed with a couple of those 'meant to be' wonderful friends...so, even if this doesn't sound like very good advice, I will say that I don't think you need to explain yourself to your friend because I'm sure he/she already knows you well enough to understand...hope that helps...take care...

sp  

it was love that first drew me,
it is love that will keep me here...
now I see love burning brightly
when everything else is unclear...

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
10 posted 2001-07-17 11:02 PM


The only advice I have for you is to talk to someone you trust.  Confide in someone.  that's the only way these feelings will go away.  I'm sorry you feel this.  I hope things work out for the best.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning...

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

11 posted 2001-08-05 03:46 AM


don't hide the real you...ever, it is bound to come out and you will miss years of joy. Be true to yourself first, if others don't like it, too bad, you will be miserable if you live your life for others and put yourself to their expectations. Believe me, I KNOW what I'm talking about.

" I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be" George William Curtis"

Kay

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
12 posted 2001-08-20 12:47 PM


I REALLY know how you feel.  You want to tell someone real bad, but you can't figure out how, right?  Then even when you do know how you are afraid they won't undderstand.  I was like that a little while ago, and still am in many respects.  VERRRY few people know the real me.  I have two people who i can confide in, My mom and my best freind since kidergarten.  You just have to try and talk to someone who you trust alot.  Feelings like this don't just go away, I tried that, and no, summer dosen't help.  Hope that helped.

                     -Rich

Love will come and love will go, but friends are forever (usually).

Moon Dust
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Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
13 posted 2001-08-21 08:37 PM


I'm not saying that no one knows the real me they do. And very few people at that. The only reason they know me is because I have been friends with them for years. I can only let someone truly know me bit by bit. And yes the reason is because I don't know how to explain myself to someone new. Rest assured I know quite a few people who feel like this too. But my advise would be is not to tell them how you feel but show them, do something they never thought you would do. Anyway it worked for me and I am happy for just a few people knowing who I really am.

You don't have a choice to die but you do have a choice how you meet it.


TunaKaHuna
Junior Member
since 2001-06-28
Posts 19
United States
14 posted 2001-08-26 06:33 PM


You should never feel like you should hide yourself form the people in your life. The true you is in you, and you ned to know that even if it is hard for others to understand you, it doesnt matter, you should be yourself. Lying to yourself just makes things worse, and after time doing this, you see that it is even harder to explain who you really are. Its like hiding a treasure formt he world...people will learn to understand you, you just need to let them. I know juts how it feel like to not being able to express yourself, and writing helps, but maybe some changes in your life might be good, helping yourself. Hope you feel better.

--Brenton

If you give a person a title, then you really dont have to know them...but, they may just be the person who can make you see how happy life can be.

Heavens Tears
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Posts 677

15 posted 2001-08-27 03:21 PM


Thanks, you guys.  I actually talked to my best friend about everything.  I didnt think that she would understand what I am going through, and even though I still dont think she exactly understands it, she is there to listen, which is just as good I suppose.  Everything is cool between us now.  
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