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Starting from square one...possible?
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Starting from square one...possible? |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments 
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I'd like to know if you guys think that when a relationship get's rough and it looks like things won't work, do you think that it's possible to build it from the bottom back up? My boyfriend and I have decided to try something like that....work on being friends first, then go farther if that goes well. Any suggestions for me? Ideas? Is this good, bad, what? I really really need advice, so anything you could add would be helpful.  ~A crumbling, but hopeful Alwye~ *Krista Knutson* |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Krista, relationships are doomed to be tough so if you think that yours is going to get a little rocky, by all means build it back up from being friends. You never know, that may have been the missing thing in the relationship after all. From personal experience, it works like a charm. You usually become better friends than you originally thought you could be. So try it out and see how it goes. After all, if you didn't try it out in the first place, it'll be the one thing you'll forever wonder if you should have tried. Good luck and many *hugs*  ~AF~ Never speak disrespectfully of Society. Only people who can't get into it do that. |
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Blaec Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 130The Sunshine State |
I think it's worth trying if you really love eachother. You need friendship in any relationship. I hope that it works for you. It's probably not going to be easy, but then what good things do we find easily? Kris |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
Taking a step backwards in order to some day take two forwards sounds like a logical, and adult, way to build a steady foundation. At the very least, you will have built a good friendship.... |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
To rebuild a strong relationship you have done the best possible thing and gone back to the basics, friends. To fully build a good BASE for your possible future relationship with him again you must get rid of all grudged.....be as blunt, and honest as you both can be...even if it deeply hurts that person. I feel that you must kindly say everything that affected the past relationship. You need to sit down and talk for hours about WHAT HAPPENED...but be very mature and do not argue. Wait for the person to finish and then say your side. In the end, if you are mature the whole thing should be worked out. Continue to be friends....joke around....go out with your friends and each other. The point is to see how that other person interacts with other people while being apart from you......sometimes you can fall back in love with that person like that. Just gazing from them afar while they talk to your mutual friends. Later on as your friendship gets more...well affectionate....take more steps.... Just take it slow, and calmly.... Good luck!  |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Sounds like a good idea to me. However, coming from the queen of screwed up relationships, I don't know if my opinion is too helpful. Good luck. |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
hey girl...we don't know each other well...but we're in the same boat! ICQ me sometime, we should talk. I was wondering the same thing myself! "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
Possible? Yes. Probable...will take a lot of work. Have been there more than once. All I can honestly say is that if it is worth trying for, give it everything you have. Hope everything works out for you. |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
I dont think it is really possible to go back to the way you were, but if it is possible to find a new square one, then yes. I hope everything works out OK. *Amanda* |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
I dont think you can go back....you can only go forward on different terms...if you both want it to work the yes do WHATEVER it takes...good luck |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I am writing this right after reading your post, and not reading any of the replies, as to not be influenced with anyone's opinion. So if I repeat anything that's been said already, I apologize. That is a very good idea, Krista, to build up the relationship from the bottom, up. It is very possible to build up that relationship over again. However, it will take lots of hard work from the both of you. It might be very hard to go from being "together" to being friends, and then back to being "together" again. It will be very awkward. I hope it's not doomed for a disappointment. Also, I hope you're not getting your hopes up, saying this will definitely work. You're putting yourself at the risk of being hurt. If it doesn't work, you might just have to accept that relationships don't always work out, and you might just have to move on. Best of luck with the situation, I hope things work out in your favor. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning... |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Good luck, and if it works, tell me. My ex and I did sort of a reverse. We met, we went out, we broke up, we became friends. I want him back.  Someone once taught me that it doesn't matter what other people think of you as long as you like yourself. That's what I live by. |
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