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Have you ever?
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Have you ever? |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Have you ever felt like you were spinning your wheels? Like the world is going to overwhelm you at any moment. Have you ever felt the pearcing grip of lonliness and when you try to reach out to those great friends you thought you had, there is nothing to hold? Have you ever felt taken for granted because what you do is all behind the scenes Have you ever just wanted to give up, leave a place, even when the memories of what it used to be beg you to stay? Have you ever just................ Wept to cleanse your soul? |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
yeah, but not since this morning. it's been a good break   seriously, sounds like inspiration to me... pull some images out of your surroundings that say these same things, break it up into lines and stanzas... and give us your best poetry!!! now's the time to write, girl, if that's the way you're feeling... 'course, i may be just spinnin' my wheels.. hehe... just messing with you... some people can write some dynamite pieces under such stress... others have to wait until it passes... and it will... these things too shall pass ... hope you're through the worst and on the other side of it soon  - all you can ever really ask out of life is a sincere apology and some decent poetry - |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
I had the same feeling this afternoon! (of course I have kids so that explains it!) I agree with Doreen, one of the best ways to deal with these emotions is to write them down. Sometimes I really believe it is the nature of a writer to feel emotion, deeper and more intense then others. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Hiya sweetheart.. Well, can't say I felt "because what you do is all behind the scenes" because everything I do is way too upfront ( can you imagine a Leo being any different..lol), but yep, the outcome can be the same...but ....always a but isn't there.. I think it is better to say how you feel because then you find out that others feel the same, ok, maybe the clowns that take you for granted may never read this but someone, somewhere will and maybe that will make a difference to someone who feels just like you do now...I hope so..and yes, I've cried those silent tears but I look on it now the same way as washing my face, just my eyes need washing, maybe someone could invent the equivalent of windscreen wuipers but call them eye wipers ...lol... HUSG...and it is good to have you back, 2nd post I've read in a few weeks now...*g* [This message has been edited by RainbowGirl (edited 10-25-2000).] |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Far too many times Marilyn ... hugs to you, for I do understand ... |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
How is it that you've described my life to the tee here Marilyn? *sighs* Oh well, all I can say is that some days are better than others. Keep your chin up and write about it! Take doreen's advice, my friend. *Krista Knutson* "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." Helen Keller |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Thankyou, you beautiful people. It is a cyclical thing with me. I can go weeks feeling great (sometimes many months) but it always catches up to me at some point. My friend says it is exhaustion and I need to take some Marilyn time (he should try living my schedual for a while). I also want to know what exactly is Marilyn time when there is no one to share it with? A couple of hours at Chapters with a cappachino but when you do this on a regular basis alone, it to becomes old fast. doreen...thanks for your words of wisdom and I do write everything out. I just don't necessarily share them with anyone. I don't like the darkness and I am one that always has to put hope in a shared piece. Sometimes the darkness wins for a short period of time and that is when I weep to cleanse my soul. Again I want to thankyou all for responding to me. It has made me feel better knowing that you care. Debbie....just so you know. I am a divorced mother of 3 children. A boy 9, a boy 7 and a little girl 4. My ex is out of province so I do it all myself. The boys both play hockey and my daughter skates. I also work full-time and try to moderate this board. I also attempt to find time to write for one day I will be published and successful enough that I don't have to work. (Wishful thing there..lol). Not having anyone just to sit beside you on the sofa at night. No words have to be passed, just the comfort of the person who cares about you. That is what gets to me from time to time. It is hard being single after being with someone for so long. Your lifestyle changes when you have a family to look after. Where do you meet people? How do you find the time to meet them? Where is the compromise in what I need and what the kids need? How can I be selfish enough to take what I need when it means sacrificing something in my children's lives? (even if it is one hockey practice, the guilt kills me.) [This message has been edited by Marilyn (edited 10-25-2000).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"I'm just sittin' here watchin' the wheels go 'round and 'round. I really love to watch them roll... no longer riding on the merry-go-round... I just had to let it go." sighs. John Lennon. also: "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." Which is also John Lennon, paraphrasing someone who has left the building of my memory bank... Love and hugs to you. May you find what you're looking for... |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
I can go for months being the happiest person. And at times I could snap on anyone for anything even the littlest things. But after the happy months it starts to change. My moods and everything. I just cry about the littlest things. And I dont know why. I think that everything just catches up with me. ~*Love is sometimes like a rose. Beautiful in the beginning but dies in the end.*~ |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Marilyn, I understand how you feel. Even in a house full of kids you can feel completely alone. It's very hard to find the time or the place to focus on just yourself. You need to have comfort and attention too! I know about those guilty feelings, but I hope that you will take time to be a little selfish. Do something nice for yourself, you deserve it! I bet your kids would agree! (you sound like a terrific mom!) |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Thankyou serenity for your words of wisdom and comfort. (especially for the hugs  )Erin...I guess my question is...Why does it have to catch up with us? I hate feeling this way. Debbie...I think your after my own heart her girl...lol. Having someone who can relate to your feelings is half the battle. As for a terrific Mom...I try. My kids might disagree with you sometimes (but that is when I make them do their chorse..lol). I need some real time from my life...a vaction! Not something that is going to be possible for a long time. *sigh* Until then I guess I am going to have to get Grandma and Grandpa to babysit for a weekend...lol. Thanks again everyone for your support and understanding. |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES....oh, and did I mention I have definetely felt this way? Sorry to hear it if that is how you are feeling, but it passes. Reward yourself more where others don't. You'll be glad you did. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh gosh yes, I have felt like that. I have a daughter who is having her third child in three years, with a bad husband. I have a husband that no longer communicates at all, I work, write (I too shall be published one day.. ), and try to keep the older people in my family happy, (Mom, Grandma), Time for me is scarce, and I have to demand every little bit. I planned a wonderful trip to reunite with an old love, the first thing I have done for me in years...It went poorly, as you can see from the rash of depressing poems I have been posting. You are not alone in this lonely feeling, and I live in an area where there is no where to go and no one to meet new, so its tough. Thank God for the forums, just for intelligent human companionship, if nothing else. I hope you feel better soon. I think we women always have more roles than we have time for. Wish I had an answer. Just say no doesn't quite work for me.. Take care Sandra |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
For me it's so easy to get caught up in depression, more so than happiness, sometimes I guess happiness is a stranger to me. So believe me I know how you feel, but you have to take time for yourself, I too understand the work and kids I have three daughters and it gets hectic at times, but I find if I don't take time out I begin to get very grouchy and that doesn't help anyone, then I feel guilty about my temper tandrum, I hope you begin to write more I find just as the others it really opens your soul and sometimes you find out things about yourself you didn't understand. |
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