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Why?!?
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Why?!? |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Hey guys!!! I guess you're wondering why I jumped back on my soapbox, huh? Well, I am merely curious about something: I have read so many poems in these Passions Forums. How is it that so many people go through the same thing year after year? Everybody has to go through getting their first love...then losing their first love. It's great and then it's a pain. So why do generation after generation go through it? Anyway, I guess I am being kinda silly...how else does one find one's perfect life partner? I haven't been in love yet...boy do I want to be!! Why do I want to be? Cos everyone says it's wonderful...until you break up that is. Well, actually, my biggest question is: Why don't guys like me? Am I that bad? I am 17 and have never so much as been out on a date. No, I am not queer before that goes thru your minds! Seriously guys have always disliked me for some reason or other. Normally that doesn't really bother me but sometimes I just wish I could be normal like other girls and have guys like me, you know? Actually I am normal but I just don't have a guy...will I ever get one? I wonder that sometimes! Anyway, I can tell I am boring you with my ramblings so I'll go soak my head! Nah, I think I'd rather read and reply some of the wonderful poetry in these forums. That's sure to cheer me up! Thanks for listening! Love and hugs to all, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is a rainbow of delight." |
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devil_tongue Member
since 2000-03-02
Posts 50 |
Dear Lizzie, you are not alone. Thank you for sharing your feelings for I no longer feel so isolated. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I'll give you some advice that I gave my own kids..no groaning! This is good stuff!!!! In the Bible, it says there is a season for everything..a time to be born, a time to die...etc. Well, I told my kids that each of us has a 'time' that's our own..if their time is not high school, it could be college..if not then, then it's after college...that we should relax..let life happen..and take opportunities when we can. Be kind and loving to everyone, smile and be excited about life..especially excited about the good things that happen to our friends... my daughter didn't have a date in High School...but she did in college.. So what I'm saying is..relax..give life a chance...  |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent advice, Sharon! Denise |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
You are so right, Sharon! Thanks so much for sharing that motherly advice with me. I won't forget what you said...I feel a whole lot better knowing that I'm not the only one without a date throughout highschool. Well, I have two years to go so for the biggest part! I wonder when it will happen..... I am glad you don't feel so isolated, Devils Tongue.....I bet there are plenty of us in thr same boat, so let's enjoy the ride!!! Love to you all. Thanks again Sharon. Love and hugs, Lizzie  |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Lizzie, Only seventeen? Gosh, with your love of poetry, you have so much more going for you than most your age. Your life hasn't even begun. Though when I was your age I felt the same way. But somehow I felt there was someone out there who would love me. But I didn't find out til well into my twenties. You can never compare your life with someone else's. Things happen at different times. Only seventeen? Dear, you have so much time ahead of you. Live each day to the fullest. Be the best person you can be. Then one day, when you least expect it, love will come to you. It's worth waiting for. Love ya Liz |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Thanks Liz! It's so good to be surrounded by people who care...I love Passions People! I feel so much better knowing that I am not alone and that I'm not so abnormal as I was beginning to think. Thanks again to everyone. Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is a rainbow of delight." |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
PdV, excellent advice. I have read many poems in Teen Forum and it seems that love is the "one track issue". It must be an acceptance issue or wanting to be like peers. They seem so desparate to have someone to 'Love" that they are careless with intimacy. I raised a daughter, so i understand what teens go through in high school. I gave her the same advice that you gave ESP. Can't think of any better! |
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sweetchild Junior Member
since 2000-04-19
Posts 37 |
WOW! I'm a very new member, and I was just reading through the replys you guys gave. I just wanna say that I think you all gave great advice and I'm amazed at all you people. You're all so, so, um, great to each other. I wish I could express that better but anyway, I just thought you'd like to know. luv pleasently suprised [This message has been edited by sweetchild (edited 04-22-2000).] |
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Kurly Junior Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 48 |
Dear Lizzie, I am 15, and I might say I still feel lot's of pain when I think of my lost love. I know I am young but I feel like my life began with her. And when she left life itself felt as if it stopped. I hope lizzie, that you don't have to go through the separation part. |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Kurly, I am sorry love has caused you so much pain....here is a poem I wrote one of my friends when she broke up with her boyfriend...I know it's not that good, I wrote it a while back...before I came to Passions..well here it is, hope you find some comfort in it: One day, our eyes will be opened And we will understand all of life’s mysteries. What now seems so beyond reasoning Will step out of the shadows and become clear: Why trust is betrayed. Why affection goes unrequited. How so much sorrow can come from so much joy. All we know now is “There is a reason for everything” The reason remains hidden. Maybe it’s to strengthen the heart and soul. Or because if we didn’t feel pain and sorrow We wouldn’t appreciate the value In love and happiness. If everything was beautiful, Beauty would seem mediocre. If everyone was happy, Bliss would be ordinary. Sadness is not meant to take the joy out of living, It is only meant to show us how wonderful prosperity is. Don’t let this experience destroy your faith. Feel enough pain to heal And trust again. Trust in life to take you where it wants you. Trust in people because there is no love without trust. Trust in me to be there when you need me, I won’t let you down. Trust in yourself and you will find the strength To overcome anything. In loving and trusting yourself you will become whole again. "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
ESP please give yourself credit. That poem was nicely written and I tell you this for every girl with a desperate heart their is a guy. Just don`t confuse your need for love with love. I was shy and didn`t have a girlfriend until I was out of highschool. Have now been married 25 years and couldn`t be happier. Look around and make friends because when alls said and done that`s the best part of a relationship. |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
These forums are so full of wise people!! I am blessed to have found it. Thank you all so much for being so understanding and caring and for all of your wonderful words of advice and comfort. I love you all!! Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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pen of passion Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 234 |
ESP, that was a wonderful poem you wrote, and a wise one. I am impressed. Now, this part about guys not liking you; how do you know this? Do you really believe this? |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Well, my first year of high school the guys in my class bullied me. Thereafter until the end of year three they treated me like a disease. I ended up with a serious inferiority complex. 1998 my best friend helped me work through that and find my self worth and accept myself for who I am....thank God I found her. 1999 I guess it got a little better but they still made out that I was inferior to them, though by then it didn't bother me too much. Now, I am not at school till September and who knows what will happen then. Well, I hope that answers your question sufficiently! Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
ESP...honey I was bullied at school too...and felt so horribly unattractive to guys - my self-esteem was low...loooooooooooooooooooow! I am 25 now and have a few relationships under my belt - still haven't found 'Mr perfect' (no such thing - lol)... While it is true that in time there is a high probability/almost certainty that you are going to find your first love, what matters is now and how you are feeling. I believe your feelings to be totally normal and understandable and in light of that the best piece of advice I have is that if you look for love it will not come so easily...I don't know why that is true, but it is. Love is designed to surprise...to whip you out of the mundane...it is more exciting that way. There are many years between 17 and 25...love WILL come for you - I know that...let it come when it sneaks up behind you, don't search out its hiding place. K |
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pen of passion Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 234 |
I am sorry to hear what these guys did to you. Your friend was a blessing. I feel that is the key: self-worth and acceptance, for when you love yourself, it doesn't matter what others say. Also, when you start believing in yourself, you can change your experience. People react differently to you. lol |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Lizzie, I have felt the exact same way. I'm a little younger than you, but gosh, I know what you mean. I think all these smart people are right. You and I, our lives are just begining and love may be just be waiting, ready when the time is right. Hang in there. I often wonder if boys are interested in me, because they sure don't show it...but I doubt males don't like you. You just haven't found the right one yet. Be good! LOL!!!!! Joy |
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7 Member
since 2000-04-26
Posts 113Amherst, MA, USA |
"How is it that so many people go through the same thing year after year? Everybody has to go through getting their first love...then losing their first love. It's great and then it's a pain. So why do generation after generation go through it?" pleaded ESP. You really have to know pain in order to know pleasure. Of course, that can be a chicken/egg debate (is a baby's first thought one of pain or one of pleasure?) but what I mean is that it's a cycle. You love and you lose... but then you love again. I'm sure that's all been said though. I'm seventeen as well, and I had never had a boyfriend until this year. Now I've had three "official" boyfriends and a few random hook-ups (which got me absolutely NOWHERE), and while I haven't found true love I have learned a great deal. The relationship process is intriguing... you meet... someone feels something... one/both try to figure out how the other feels... there may be a chase... someone may be "hard to get"... then something happens and you're "together"... then more stuff happens, you might go through all that "does he love me?" stuff or the cute puppy love stuff... then one/both likes someone else or just starts not to like the other person anymore... then there's a breakup, which sucks... then there's a closure period... then, eventually, the cycle begins again, with someone else. Or, the breaking up part never happens and you get married and have two and a half kids and a picket fence. But more often than not, it ends with a breakup. My point is that each relationship is a lesson, a "practice," if I may, for your true love. For example, because I'd never gone through it before, it was very difficult for me to build my first relationship because I was so nervous and unsure. But the second time I was more confident, because I'd gone through it before... "you live, you learn" they say. I feel almost like I'm talking to myself, but before I had ever had a relationship. I wish I could tell my last-year self that I have nothing to fear, that it's not that I'm unattractive or pathetic but simply that I'm not ready. Just because you're the "right" age to start dating doesn't mean you're necesarily ready. And not being ready doesn't make you immature. It just makes you you. And, if I were talking to my last-year self, I wouldn't believe my this-year self because you can't really know without going through it. I don't mean you know nothing... damn, I'm really digging myself a hole here. I hope you know what I mean, and I hope you figure out "why." Best wishes 7 |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Dear everyone, I just have to say thank you for all your replies...it's wonderful to feel so surrounded by caring, kind and may I also say wonderful people. I am not alone...what a warm feeling that is. There is nothing like feeling cared about. Thank you a million times!! I love you all! Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Dearest Lizzy...Believe it or not...This lady didn't have a real date until she was 20 years old. In highschool I was very guys pal and they enjoyed my company but I was not the dating material (so to speak). I had other interests, basketball, baseball, volleyball, my friends, volenteering at the local hospital. When my time came, there was no stopping the tide of interested male parties. Even now that I am single again (I hate dating...lol. I have forgotten how to do it) I can find interested parties if I really took an interest. The thing to do is concentrate on you. Find out who you are and where your life is going. Enjoy the journey my dear friend, it is much to short to worry about such a thing. Believe me, true love will come and when it does it will be worth the wait. Love ya. ((hug)) Marilyn. |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Thank you Marilyn....thank you for caring in so many ways. Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
ESP-Lizzie~ Having read that you're seventeen just blows me away ... your replies to the poetry here is indicative of maturity far beyond your calendar years. The nicest thing I can tell you is that love will come when you least expect it. I look back at my high school years with much pleasure in the friendships I formed. I've taken those friendships forward with me in my life. These are remarkable years for you to grow in and when 'it' comes you'll see what we mean. Honest ! Love ya' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Dear Marge, Thank you for replying to this post(the no of replies so caring has really warmed my heart). I carry what you said in my heart and really, since coming to Passions I have decided that living for the moment is best!! Well, I guess I'll see you around the forums! Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Ahhhhhh, yes. Well, my "blossoming" didn't occur until right around 17 or so, and you know what? Relationships are a lot of hard work. Love is still proving evasive to me, and as soon as I think things are going well in that area, something turns around and karma bites me in the butt. Unfortunatly, sometimes I wish I never had a date, I might be better off...lol No but in all seriousness, treasure your freedom and have confidence in who you are; true love will come when you aren't even looking for it.  Trust.Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving? |
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LilTai Member
since 2002-06-08
Posts 189United States |
I've been reading this and just want to say one thing that's recently been on my mind... I'm 19, and engaged to the love of my life..also my first (and only) love. I love him unconditionally, and would do anything for him in a heartbeat. And I know he feels the same for me. I found my soulmate. And if you're wondering what my point is..it's this: If you find your true love, the one that truly is perfect for you, your soulmate and bestfriend..don't let him (or her) get away from you! And, in answer to your original post-- You're 17. You have so much time ahead of you. I KNOW that you will find a man to love who loves you just as much and treats you as his queen...Just let Love find you. It will Tai |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
*psst* I was 22 when I first went out on a date. In high school, I was just glad to hang with my friends. When my friends all went off and found girls, and I was curiously alone, sure, it stung a bit, but I had plenty of other things to occupy my time. I'm actually glad it wasn't until I was in university that love first hit ... for me, anyway, it's quite obvious I was not ready for that thing we call "love" until that age. The thing is, it comes when you're *not* actively searching and seeking. It hits you on the side of a head like a snowball, leaving behind some powder and ice, and an incredible feeling of "I've been chosen!" (now what to lob back?) Of course, the inevitable break-up *is* tough. It's the reason I joined Passions, actually. To try and work through the grief/anger/self-loathing/misanthropy that triggered itself deep inside my gut and flooded my brain like poison for a while. Now, it's simply melancholy. Sure, I'd like to be friends with this girl again. But to actually go out? God no, we're sooo wrong for each other. It was good that we built our relationship on friendship, but it's too bad that that friendship disintegrated, too, under the pile of half-thoughts and unrequisition that our relationship became. Of course, the relationship being long-distance didn't help us out, either. Anyway ... three years later, I'm with someone who ... well, let me put it this way. When I was going through the first relationship, I thought that the reason of love and marriage was to find someone to complete you. No. What it's about is being able to both remain independent, while, at the same time, being able to form into a bond stronger than anything that happens to you, being able to come together in strength and protection and earth-shaking love. And yet, even while being consumed in that passion, also maintaining an individual sense. Wow................ that went on *way* too long. Some 25 Year Old Squirrel Guy Thing Said if I only could ... |
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Alexia
since 2001-06-07
Posts 164Sweet And Sassy |
I didn't have my first date till I was 15. And That was 3 years ago ... it seems like it's been forever. I kind of wish I hadn't got into the dating sence because the break ups are hell. Exspecially if you love them. But don't try so hard for love, let it come to you. Just don't care, go out with your friends have fun meet new people. You'll eventually have your "first date" ... your "first" everything. It doesn't matter how old you are when it happens. Not everything happens at the sametime for everyone. Everyone is different. I know people that was at least out of high school before they even got there first kiss. So your not the only one. Just go out and have your fun and don't worry about it. You'll realize you were better off when you didn't have the guys to worry about and all the heartbreak and stuff. Peace and have a good time Lexi *Love might not make the world go round but it's what makes the ride worth while* |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
I was 17 too when I started dating and I didnt start till college. But some people when their at school can be pretty childish because they haven't had the chance to grow up yet. And dont worry about what the guys say at school there the one with the problem not you, their just bulling you because their insucre about themselves. Love is hard but it can be worth it and i'm sure you'll find it soon. If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come? |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Lizzy, There are many, many, years and some romances before you. You just must recognize that certain ONE when he comes into your life. ~wranx The shortest distance between two points... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Wahhhh ! I miss my LittleLizzie~ Wherever you are sweet little spirit ... I wish your wings would flutter you back this way once more~ I'm writing you AGAIN, praying for a return answer~ You are one remarkable young lady ... and remember (?) ... you wondered if you'd be remembered ? ... YOU are still touching people with your thoughts~  Thanks for bring this one back up~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Y'know, I've had tough times with finding relationships (not finding love, though; go figure). I'd fall for all the wrong guys, who just couldn't have a relationship with anyone they felt for... (Which made me wonder if it was good that they liked me enough to protect me from their weaknesses or bad that I didn't get to go out with them.) Then my first real try in the dating world was with someone who hadn't told me that he was on psychiatrist prescribed drugs for anxiety attacks. That turned out real fun. :P I've actually found that I scare guys.  I'm almost rabidly independent, and I think that teen guys need to be needed to make themselves feel important.But for all my past failures in the world of romance, I now have the best thing ever going on with Mike. We had known each other--been each other's best friends--for years. Four years, to be precise. Don't get me wrong, I'm still totally frustrated with what went on in my past. Grr. There's many a guy who I would like to see brutalized (by my own hands). But I'm finding peace, just reeeeaalllyy slowly. impress me, or be discarded |
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Alexia
since 2001-06-07
Posts 164Sweet And Sassy |
hmm, you sound like my sister's friend Lindsey, She's known this guy for 4 years and they were best friends and now they live together ... Cool or what? thats werid .. Anyways .. I found a really great guy. Finally, out of all the bad ones. I finally found a good one. I think I deserve it. lol Peace,luv and chicken grease! Alexia *Love might not make the world go round but it's what makes the ride worth while* |
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