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melancholia and nostalgia....
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melancholia and nostalgia.... |
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i_am_patch! Member
since 2008-06-24
Posts 108manila, philippines 
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is it healthy to continue living(dwelling) in these feelings....for so long? "omnia vincit amor" |
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priyanka Member
since 2009-06-15
Posts 216india |
Perhaps somtimes... We just can't help it... But all the time...no.... Not exactly a good thing to do... The good memories are fine as long as you are in control of the situation... I do that quite a few times... But living in the past doesn't help... take care... hope you doing fine...  best wishes |
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Stephanos
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618Statesboro, GA, USA |
Nostalgia may live as long as it evolves into an acceptance/ appreciation of what was shared. Melancholy as an expression of grief is normal, unless it is never worked through. I think unless some resolution happens, melancholia may destroy nostalgia. Memories can become oppressive and take on a tormenting quality, detracting from the gifts of life present all around, and those yet to be had. Stephen |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
What is long? What is too much? One can dwell in the past, but I've found it quite helpful if the past leads me to a foundation in a new lesson, something I can pass on to the future...and the future id remains to be discovered... what has the past allowed me to share with the future? Did I learn any lesson at all? It's hard to know exactly what kind of response you wish for, patch...but please come back and let us know if our responses have helped in the least little bit. Sunshine |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
I was gonna say something along Sunshine's words. Haha. But she did a better job at wording it. To grieve is a healing process. Whether you to heal or linger on the emotion is your choice. Nostalgia, to me, is remembrance of a time. Like Sunshine said, we learn and grow from our past. I see nothing wrong with remembering. Yes some memories are sad and hurtful. But did you learn from them and grow? That's my question I ask myself a lot. Keep positive thoughts and see the light in things. Hope things go well. -Zach |
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therightside Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 64USA |
I don't think it is healthy, often times I find that the longer you dwell in a feeling you once had, although it now hold no bearing, you get further and further from reality and most times you end up convincing yourself that you still have feelings you genuinely do not. It is easier, believe it or not, to dwell in old feelings where there is no real ability to be hurt anymore or any further because the relationship is gone, but the thought of putting oneself out there again and having real feelings leaves you open to getting truly hurt again. But it is not healthy to allow yourself to dwell in the past, it gets you no where. Sometimes you have to suck it up and not let yourself make something into what it isn't anymore and maybe never was, and you have to keep yourself from asking advice of those whom you know will tell you what you want to hear or are too afraid to tell you what you need to hear, which is that it is time to move on, it's time to live again, and it's time to stop wishing and waiting for someone else to sweep you up and fix things for you. Do it for yourself and I promise you, it is a far more rewarding accomplishment than the feeling of someone loving you. They can't if you don't. And that's as true as it gets. I know where you are and it's not a great place to be, I hope you take charge and feel happy again. |
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i_am_patch! Member
since 2008-06-24
Posts 108manila, philippines |
"Dont waste time feeling hurt" I cant remember the song but this line struck me. So, I decided to move on... Im glad I did. can you be my friend in facebook: mamhiebear@yahoo.com |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
I would even know where to begin until I knew what "these feelings" were and what they were about. Some feelings make up their own minds about us, and we need to talk with them to find out what they're about and what they want. Sometimes feelings simply hang around because we're not doing something else, like visiting an occasional bookstore or doing the laundry and dishes. Some feelings need to find what their proper proportion is in relation to other thoughts and feelings in our lives, like the feelings of loss following the break up with a close friend, which are difficult to evaluate until we have the experience of having other close friends to compare them to, or have had other more or less important losses to compare them to. Wer need more information out here to give you better advice, and you need to do some thinking about this sort of thing so that you can talk to yourself about what the actual situation is that you're dealing with may be. Have you lost your father, have you lost your pet, have you lost your best friend for life, your wife, somebody you've known insensely for five years, five months, fifty years, five minutes. Each loss is real and important, each needs a different sort of serious consideration, each needs your humor mobilized differently, each needs you to go about things differently. And you, being unique, will need to think about each situation uniquely. Thoughts, Patch? |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I'm glad you did too, Patch!  |
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