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It's always a girl
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It's always a girl |
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Idontmindyouundermyskin Junior Member
since 2007-01-29
Posts 32 |
Alright I'm a guy who has no problem approaching girls. They have never made me nervous and I've never cared if they find me appealing or not. Life will go on. But of course, there is this one girl. We go to school together, but we never speak to each other. Our eyes always meet as we cross but It's hard enough to get the air trapped in my lungs to come out, let alone even a hello. This is the first time a girl I don't even know has made me feel this way. I mean she's perfect. I see her in our school plays and she's amazing. She stands at about 5'2 and marches with bass drum in the school band. She's in student council, and seems like a really nice person. No one has ever said anything mean about her. Out of my league. Maybe that's why she's so intangible to me, i would be so undeserving. I know I'm not ugly, and im by far not the most attractive guy, but she seems she would demand so much more. And I'm nothing but a hopeless romantic. How do I overcome this fear of approaching her? For once in my life I care how someone percieves me, and i hate it. Maybe I'll just start it with a hello, but where to go with that? I only pass her in the halls, and we both stop stalking to our friends and just stare at each other as we pass. A simple hey wouldn't hurt, but I would mess it up. Trip or something... Perfection so unbelievably subtle. I doubt she knows my name. |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Although one appears to be perfect, no one really is. We're all human, capable of errors, have strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. My advice is to take your mind off thoughts of yourself and sincerely put them on what you wish for her. Then it should be much easier to smile, "Hi, hope you have a great day!" next time you pass by her. After that, you might say, "Jane, I think I got your name right. Did I?" or if you don't know her name, something like, "I appreciate how well you handle so many things." You'll see whether she has any interest or not, by how she responds. Even if you say, "I think I got the name of Jane. Did I?" flubbing it up, just laugh and say something like you must've forgotten to put your words in the right order before they came out. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Go for it! Rae |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
if she looks at you like you look at her, she probably is dying inside wondering why you won't talk to her. Just because she does things that make her seem outgoing, that doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings and insecurities and worries and all those things too. I bet she would love it if you just said hey to her. Ask if she knows the time, borrow a pencil, anything....just talk to her. At least then you will have made the effort. See what happens after hello...  |
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Idontmindyouundermyskin Junior Member
since 2007-01-29
Posts 32 |
Thanks you two. Maybe I'll just have a mutual friend introduce us. Who knows. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I hope you do. It's always that first step that is the hardest...Or in this case, that first word...from what you've said about her stopping to look at you, sounds like she's got it just as bad for you. Other wise she wouldn't even break her stride, ya know? She wouldn't even pause in conversation...but ? She does.... that means YOU have her full attention.  go for it. |
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Idontmindyouundermyskin Junior Member
since 2007-01-29
Posts 32 |
Yeah I know... I'll do it this week sometime. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
cool beans man, let us know how it goes! |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
ooohhhh now look how nervous you are towards her , maybe she feels the same as you, and is sooo scared that something might go wrong. I can't wait to hear what happens def. tell us what happens. A mutual friend works i hope y'all can break the ice good luck... |
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moondogz Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397Great White North |
Idontmindyouundermyskin Interesting story, a similiar thing happened to me...except it was the other way around..my future girl friend/wife saw me, was interested and got a mutual friend to introduce us...that was in 1967..we're still the best of pals..follow your heart and don't hesitate. |
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carter07 Junior Member
since 2007-04-26
Posts 31 |
Just introduce yourself. Girls like assertive guys. I can't tell you how many times I've found out (after already moving on) that a guy liked me and thought "man, i really wish he had said something because that probably would have worked out." Don't make it harder than it has to be. If you screw up or say something stupid thats ok. It makes you look honest and untimidating and will put her at ease because she'll see how sincere you are. You have nothing to lose. The only thing you'll definitely regret would be doing absolutely nothing. |
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moondogz Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397Great White North |
Carter07; Holy, I just discovered that you are not a guy...don't know why I thought that but I did. That's why I sent you a private message on the other forum etc., sorry about that. You probably thought I was stalking you. |
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carter07 Junior Member
since 2007-04-26
Posts 31 |
moondogz, haha! No I don't think you're stalking me. I enjoy talking to you so it doesn't bother me. I thought the butterfly icon would give it away that I'm a girl... guess not.... haha. |
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moondogz Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397Great White North |
carter07; ummm yeah butterfly, I just thought u were a sensative new age type of fellow who was in touch with his feelings..anyway glad no offence was taken. |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
hey you know, speaking for expirence, sometimes tripping or "make a fool of yourself" looks cute. i know that i am a complete klutz and being a girl, i've had a few guys tell me that they think it's very cute. i suppose for men though, it's more of a D.I.D. (damsel in distress) thing that they are attracted to. but it's kinda cute sometimes when you make someone so nervous that they can't speak. give it a shot and see how she reacts. your chances may be better than you think. -Kate "I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow |
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crosscountry83 Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345 |
It's been a long time since you posted this question, so anything might have happened by now. I just wanted to say that I was in the exact same situation. Exact same... not kidding, except, I was the girl... I guess I won't say anything since it's been so long since you posted this, but I just wanted you to know. If, by chance, it's still the same way, just e-mail We could talkRileigh |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
You've got your expectations set way too high, guy. Not about the girl, but about what you expect to happen and how perfectly you're supposed to act in order to be worthy of coming within speaking distance. The first thing out of your mouth is supposed to be imperfect, just like you are. If it's not, how's she supposed to answer you? You're both human beings, still, despite your expectation that you should behave in some more than human and more than perfect fashion. Complements are generally a good start, if you actually mean them, and if they're things that you've actually noticed. Anything that you've actually noticed about somebody else that's decent and honest is generally a good start. You might try thinking of three or four real things that you actually notice about her and actually like about her and the way she handles herself. Make sure they're very particular, like her taste in shoes, or the way she treats her friends when they're happy or when they're down. Something that's specific and lets her know that you really have seen her and find something about her specifically interesting. I don't know if any of this stuff is helpful. I'd remember that the goal at first is not to meet the love of your life, it's to have a short talk with somebody that you think you might have some warm feelings about, and to see if those feelings on your part are real, and to check out just a little bit if there are any feelings possible like that on the other side. Some just look for small real feelings in yourself and in her. You're trying to find out if you actually like each other enough to have a short conversation, and you very well may not either way. This is the way you find out, gently. Small goals, pay attention to small real feelings between the two of you to see if any of them actually show up within the first couple of weeks after you start trying to be friends. Now throw out everything I've said and do it your own way. If I said anything that sticks, try it. All my best, Bob Kaven |
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N|D|N|C|Lost-Poet Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 360New Orleans |
If you've never jumped off of a cliff, how do you know you can't fly? "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." Oscar Wilde |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Having been on both sides of this, I think I can provide a unique point of view. The girl you're looking at, the girl that's looking at you, probably thinks you're out of her league, too. Hello is a nice start, but as you said. Where to go from there? Well, given that you go to the same school, I would assume you have some of the same teachers, and thus know when midterms and finals are coming. Try something like "Hey, Mr. Smith's midterm is gonna be hard, huh?" It gives a subject matter to start with, and can snowball into a full-blown conversation. If she's as interested in you as you are in her, she'll grab that opportunity. It's rough, but once you've tried, you'll get the hang of it. Arana Darkwolf |
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