The Gift

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

0 posted 2002-05-13 11:44 PM

Each year for her birthday,
he gifted her with something electric
this year, she said "I want something different
please try to be eclectic"

"I don't care what it is" she said
"as long as it doesn't plug in"
she thought he might buy something sexy
or something soft for her skin

he thought real hard, this was now a chore
buying those gadgets was easy
but she didn't want them anymore
and he wouldn't buy anything cheesy

he went to the mall to see what was there
bedazzled by all of the stores
hats, shoes, coats and underwear
women's clothing, galore

so he looked at the dresses, but knew not her size
he thought of flowers or candy
but knew they wouldn't win him the prize
oh! if only he could buy something handy

he was a very practical man
but he must buy something she liked
a mop to keep the house spic and span?
or maybe a brand new bike?

somehow, none of these gifts seemed just right
but they'd just bought a brand new house
their vegetable garden was a delight
suddenly he knew what he'd buy for his spouse

he bought it at the gardening store
brand new red with shiny bright wheels
it was a gift he was sure she would love
and they gave him a really great deal

he hid it in the garage all week
and wouldn't let her in
she was sure he'd bought her a brand new car
each morning she woke with a secret grin

finally her birthday arrived
he knew his gift was a killer
when he finally unveiled his secret
there it sat...a shiny red rototiller

P.S. This is a true story and the couple is no longer married...can you figure out why?

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

1 posted 2002-05-13 11:59 PM

That's a clod for you! Poor thing, I can only imagine her surprise, I mean really, the color is all wrong! You are full of good stories to tell Lyra girl!

I'm still laughing at this, and the thought that my s/o would never break with that kind of money!!!

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

2 posted 2002-05-14 12:09 PM

Thanks Lori...I am still laughing at this story after about 12 yrs.

If my friend saw this poem, she would recognize herself instantly.

Her husband didn't believe in buying anything that wasn't practical, and she had a whole house full of "practical" gadgets that she never used.

He was also very cheap...I know he wouldn't have bought that rototiller if they hadn't given him a great deal on it...and he was a doctor!

I also loved your remark about the "wrong color" green would've matched the garden better, wouldn't it

~laughing hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

3 posted 2002-05-14 05:42 AM

spent most of yesterday tilling my side garden under so I can be rid of the weeds the birds constantly fertilize my property with...used a red shiny one, though borrowed *s...perfect timing, Lyra

hugs
M

*I love how you come up with so many creative subjects.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2002-05-14 06:40 AM

Well, no, why? It's red. It doesn't plug in. It's shiny. It doesn't add calories, it depletes them.

Go figure!

meanwhile, I'll go wipe the tears that are rolling down my cheeks from sheer delight...

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

5 posted 2002-05-14 08:39 AM

(giggles in delight) Oh gee, yep yep yep, you have to go wrong with red in this circumstance, green is the true lawn color! LOL! (kiss on cheek) Poor thing, if only his gift could be appreciated for once and if only she can have something that isn't practical. (giggles) Let's pray your friend doesn't come on and notice this or she'll blush big for sure!

This is soooooo cute, sweet friend, your wonderful words always make me smile, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lyra, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Opeth
Senior Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 1543
The Ravines

6 posted 2002-05-14 09:06 AM

The story was most enjoyable and I thought to myself while reading, what is that husband thinking?

Excellent told.

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-01-04

Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise

7 posted 2002-05-14 09:09 AM

Oh my gosh! I loved this and am rolling on the floor laughing. MEN!!!
Hugs, Marti

" My wrinkles are badges of courage and reveal that I am a Mother."

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

8 posted 2002-05-14 09:19 AM

I think I would rather have a rototiller, than a fishing pole. I have so many fishing poles, that I could have a fishing party. And, no one would even have to bring their own poles.

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

9 posted 2002-05-14 09:28 AM

Lyra darling girl this is wonderful, oh how well I recognise this man, I has a washing machine, a cooker, a Vax, and on and on. Christmas was always an exciting time NOT, I think he got the gift for inappropriate presents from his mother. Now there was a woman who was a real witch, she never bought anything if she could help it. She gave me a kitchen towel holder once, the type you get free with your kitchen roll.

This was a brilliant poem darling heart I love it, I have the tears rolling down my face, beautiful work and wonderfully written.

and I love it utterly

Love and light

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

10 posted 2002-05-14 09:33 AM

MEN!! They just don't get it, eh?
Funny write Lyra...
Enjoyed much.
~Hugs~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

11 posted 2002-05-14 09:42 AM

Lyra,
Screwed up again, we just can't do anything right. LOL enjoyed

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

12 posted 2002-05-14 04:38 PM

Maureen...thanks for your reply. I thought it was raining on the east coast, yesterday.
Were you out tilling the soil in the rain?

~feel better hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

13 posted 2002-05-14 04:40 PM

Thanks Karilea, I guess there are 2 ways to look at everything...
but she really thougnt she was getting a brand new car!

~lots of hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

14 posted 2002-05-14 04:44 PM

Thanks Noah...but you wouldn't call this guy a "poor thing" if you really knew him.
He absolutely HATED to spend money on anything he considered frivolous and that meant most of his wife's clothes....in fact, thats why they had a vegetable garden. Its much cheaper to grow them than to buy them at the store. I think if they had stayed married much longer, he would have bought some cattle and made my friend churn milk into butter. I'm glad she divorced him...he was really incredible!

~many hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

15 posted 2002-05-14 04:45 PM

Thanks for your reply, JCP....
You are a man who seems to understand women!

~hugs to you

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

16 posted 2002-05-14 04:47 PM

Thanks Marti...but not ALL men are like this....my husband really indulges me quite a bit and I KNOW he would never have bought me a rototiller!

~lots of hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

17 posted 2002-05-14 04:50 PM

Thanks Sue...my first husband actually bought me a fishing pole one year as a gift when we first got married....
That was the first AND LAST time he ever presented me with a gift like that. I really don't like fishing at all....actually, I think I still have that fishing pole and I don't think its ever been used.

~fishing hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

18 posted 2002-05-14 04:55 PM

Thanks Marsha...LOL, sounds a bit like my mother in law. She always bought things for people very thougtfully, but always thought about what SHE liked, not about what THEY liked. I think I still have all of her gifts in a box somewhere...the worst one was the wall decorations she bought for us while we were living in an apartment in NY...They went perfectly well with her livingroom but looked horrible in ours. We had never hung them up, and one time when they came over, my father in law hung them for us. I hated that place after that! When we moved to Michigan, I told her they got broken in the move.

~white lie hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

19 posted 2002-05-14 04:58 PM

Thanks Nancy...there is actually a trick to getting what you want. I discovered this with my first husband...and that is to tell him EXACTLY what you want including where to find it, what size etc.
I would never let a man surprise me with a gift.
Right now, I have everything I want, so I just tell David to take me out to dinner for my birthday.

~many hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

20 posted 2002-05-14 05:00 PM

Thanks sy...the answer is to get EXACT instructions....never guess what a woman wants....its impossible. Just ask her...she'll tell you.

~big hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

21 posted 2002-05-14 10:40 PM

This reminded me of an ex-husband of mine, the key part of this sentence is the EX~ It is a very funny poem Lyra, but not if you get these gifts, I would rather have received nothing at all, and I bet she would say the same.

Let's spend less time worrying about when our life is going to end, and more on when it's going to start!

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

22 posted 2002-05-14 10:55 PM

You hit the nail right on the head, Sharon...in fact she actually said that!

When she was disappointed with the rototiller, he said "Well at least it doesn't plut in"
Can you believe that!

~shopping hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.