Open Poetry #20 |
As far away as that |
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
The sky is usually full of faces, planes and their contrail scrapings. Now it's just one mad blue eye staring down, staring on. I sit in the black seam of the street, the juncture of travel where it meets need. I finger what I only have and wish we were all gone. What ends -- a justifying here. The sky seems drained but not quite clear, but not quite light and rain and sun. That blue eye runs me through its stare. The sun, she pins me down and bakes. That snow, she never fails to flake. She stays as far away as that. She stays as far away as then. And we sit by the fire and watch snow on black fabric melt. We sit by the fire and watch the woods consumed. We sit by the fire and watch the window panes crack up. We sit by the fire and watch the fire leave you. And she stays as far away as that. And she stays as far away as then. And she stays as far away as so. And she stays as far away as no. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
That last stanza is a killer.... |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Pretty final, huh? I agree with Sunshine, the last stanza hurts. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks for reading. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Now it's just one mad blue eye staring down, staring on. ================================ I finger what I only have and wish we were all gone. What ends -- a justifying here. The sky seems drained but not quite clear, but not quite light and rain and sun. That blue eye runs me through its stare. The sun, she pins me down and bakes. That snow, she never fails to flake. She stays as far away as that. She stays as far away as then. ==================================== And she stays as far away as that. And she stays as far away as then. And she stays as far away as so. And she stays as far away as no. =================================== gawd this just went thru me...for reasons Im not even sure of yet.... Mike your blowing me away with every write... this reads like the kind of song ya hear on an old FM station late at night and it stirs up things that makes ya just wanna get in your car and drive....listening to that same song over and over........ poet or songwriter...either way...you rock ... and I don't know why ... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hey Mike...I loved the almost maddening clarity of the one blue eye imagery. The last stanza rises like crescendo too. But I understand her...I don't think she means any harm. I think she just curls up, into herself, running in silent mode... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Glad you both liked it. Don't worry -- there's plenty of truth in this story, but it was a long, long time ago. She just makes good poetry fodder every now and again. |
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