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Open Poetry #20
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Not Worth the Candle
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Not Worth the Candle |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets 
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A thought tickles my lashes, Making sleep tough to grasp. I light a candle, become entranced in its glow, Turn the thought round in fluid cycles. Waxy trails play along the vertical curves, Molding pinguid puddles on the nightstand. Time slips slowly by, burning away in liquid drops. The spring air drifts idly through the open window Playing delicately with the candle’s flame. Once too rough, smoke trails into darkness. The thought isn’t worth the candle; Sleep soon consumes me. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Response to this Challenge You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. -- Navajo Proverb [This message has been edited by Masked Intruder (04-09-2002 03:50 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Philip Zemler - All Rights Reserved | |||
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Excellent piece, Masked Intruder! You've done an admirable job with the phrase. Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Soleil Noir Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688USA |
An excellent response to a very good challenge! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
An excellent composition Philip ... from the first phrase of a "thought tickles the lashes", to the conclusion where the thought is extinguished. A wonderful write, very much enjoyed!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
loved it... nice to bring back some challenges *s..might try it myself.. M |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
OMG  ..It think this is the best candle poem I've ever read, Love. Perfect images..perfect desscription of a thought. ~~sighs~~ just lovely. How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Wow, I love this, sweet friend, this had me envisioning a lightbulb glowing at first then the lightswitch turning off in the end in symbolism to the extinguished flame! (big hugggssssss) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Philip, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
loved the words used here, the thoughts, the feelings, the sight....wow! |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Hey MI, it's been a long time since I've read you. I'm glad I came back to read this little gem.  Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. |
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Mystic Mystron Member
since 2002-02-15
Posts 69North York .Ontario |
Loved this write i can piture this one fully even to the point of falling asleep myself. Great Poem. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Well done Philip with great imagery. Challenge well met! Enjoyed this thoroughly. ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i was about to try out this challenge but after reading yours, i figured i should perhaps take some more time to refine my thoughts before attempting the challenge... |
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