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Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

0 posted 2002-02-04 06:33 AM

LEGACY OF PAIN

I don't believe in "happily ever after."
God knows I'd just be thrilled to smile today;
Or look to your eyes and catch a glimpse of laughter
Before this moment, like all others, slips away.

If I opened up my heart you'd see the sorrow
A condemned man forever must forbear,
From a destiny I haphazardly harrow
Through the channels of frustration and despair.

But Silence, like a golden ball, surrounds me
As I'm muted to the world I walk within;
While all the feelings I've harbored, if achingly,
Alas, are lost much to my own chagrin.

As I follow the unseen path set before me,
In the footsteps my father long ago tread;
I can't help but feel I'm just a facsimile,
Somehow walking among the living, dead.

And I cringe to think my son, one day, might follow
Down the dark and lowly pathway of our plight.
To find himself, a man bereft and hollow;
All emotion contrived, all actions trite.

So it's but the will of the words that carry me -
The words my dad shared with me, if in vain.
"My son, never forsake your family."
But, God, how do I save him from this pain?

Michael Anderson

02/03/02

But dreams of those who dream as I,
Aspiringly, are damned and die.

EAP

[This message has been edited by Michael (02-04-2002 06:39 AM).]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2002-02-04 07:36 AM

I don't believe in "happily ever after."
God knows I'd just be thrilled to smile today;
Or look to your eyes and catch a glimpse of laughter
Before this moment, like all others, slips away.
===================================

But Silence, like a golden ball, surrounds me
As I'm muted to the world I walk within;
==========================================
As I follow the unseen path set before me,
In the footsteps my father long ago tread;
I can't help but feel I'm just a facsimile,
Somehow walking among the living, dead.

And I cringe to think my son, one day, might follow
Down the dark and lowly pathway of our plight.
=======================================
So it's but the will of the words that carry me -
The words my dad shared with me, if in vain.
"My son, never forsake your family."
But, God, how do I save him from this pain?
=========================================

You break my heart with the depth of your expression ... and I understand what your saying in this M, but no one "walking dead" feels this much ... nor expresses it with such intensity ... and to answer the question of your last verse? ....
teach him to love himself as much as you love him ... and? love yourself the same way.You both deserve nothing less.
heart-hugs M,
jm

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

2 posted 2002-02-04 07:41 AM

All you can do is your best, m'friend... Just love him... I hope you & Mikey are well... It's soooo nice to see you here...

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

3 posted 2002-02-04 09:58 AM

I can't improve on JM's advice. *S* So I'll just say that you've written heartbreaking excellence... Seeing the cycle is perhaps the first step in crushing its existence... with the love I know you have in abundance, it can be done.

Silver Streak
Member Elite

since 2002-01-02

Posts 3625
FL, USA

4 posted 2002-02-04 10:09 AM

It's a big lie! Don't believe it.

-Silver Streak

Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com

Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

5 posted 2002-02-04 10:35 AM

This is achingly beautiful. I think we must all feel pain at some time in our lives, you can't save him from that (it is every parent's wish). All you can do is be there for him if it happens...and THAT is what will get him through it. You and Mikey have such a special relationship, that counts for a lot!

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

6 posted 2002-02-04 12:35 PM

train him up in the way he should go and when he is old he shall not depart from it"

Kathleen--(Kay)
"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee

Tiersdin
Member Elite

since 2000-11-17

Posts 2364
east coast

7 posted 2002-02-04 12:41 PM

Deepy felt...

excellent write.

~Tier

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

8 posted 2002-02-04 03:04 PM

Michael, I've always loved the depth of your poetry.. This one tugs at the heart with its eloquence.

I echo JM'S advice...."teach him to love himself as much as you love him ... and? love yourself the same way.You both deserve nothing less"

It's great to read you again

Maree

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

9 posted 2002-02-04 03:05 PM

Your poetry is a good start and some time on your knees will help, especially if your son is beside you

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

peppermint35
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1106
Texas, USA

10 posted 2002-02-04 03:12 PM

I can only echo the very good advice already given...

this poem is indeed, a good start..

even to feel pain is better than numbness.. and u know this, deep inside u..

Light to your path..

Hugz,

Pepper
"A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth."
Percy Bysshe Shelley

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

11 posted 2002-02-04 04:02 PM

I worry, too that melancholia is genetic. You write so beautifully of the dark--and I guess you know I can relate. Your concern for your son especially touched my heart--and touched on many questions for me. Thank you again, Michael. You always make me think.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

12 posted 2002-02-04 05:28 PM

(BIG HUGGGSSSSSSSS) Oh Michael, this is so very sad, my heart goes out to you and I pray with all my heart all will work out for you both! (sad sigh) You and Mikey are very special to each other and nothing can ever change that, may both of your hearts forever be filled with happiness and compassion for each other! God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much, all our hearts are with you! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

13 posted 2002-02-04 05:34 PM

*sigh* just teach him love and compassion...there is no way a parent can save their child from the pains of life but we can love them and that eases the pain a little sometimes. I know how you feel. **big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

14 posted 2002-02-05 12:16 PM

It seems to me that the mind is a contridiction of programmed concepts. But, if you look around you see that we are constantly reprogramming ourself to life situations.
I'm not one that believes in the programming found in places like AA meetings. I find them as negitive programming re-enforcement. They are programmed to believe that they are permanently stuck in this incureable programmed disease.
I think positive program re-enforcement is the better way to go. Never believing that we are stuck or incureable or are distined to live in emotional pain forever, is better.
Controlling our own destiny, our own learning our own state of being. Re-programming ourself when needed, during times of negitive life occurances.
I have fallen, but its time for me to get up and walk again and then run and then fly...
... you left me, i'm alone, no one to love, if I can't have you, i'm nothing, I can't live without you. <== bad reprogramming
... you left me, I'll miss you, for a bit, but i'll find someone new, i'll find someone better more compatable, i've got new people to discover... <== better programming
Everywhere in life we see examples of negitive and positive reprogramming. If you say it to yourself enough you'll believe it then you'll live it then you'll be it.
Knowing this is the beginning of control.
Positive thinking would be a simplistic discription....
Positive re-programming is better.
Learning to recognize when to start this re-programming can be difficult at times.
Teaching our young with love when they are young is a good place to start.
Teaching them positive re-programming is next...
I will challenge the darkness, because unlike a mushroom I pre-fer the light...
But, if I have to... I'll eat the damn mushrooms while walking to the light.

excuse my rantings....

Great write as always Michael.

Parker

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

15 posted 2002-02-05 12:53 PM

Through the myriad of maladies
that wander through mind fields,
what echoes through the halls of time,
hope can right, mixed with remedies.

Beyond this,
only love exists.

Wishing you peace,

Cor

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

16 posted 2002-02-05 01:07 PM

Michael, How great you wrote this, it flowed and oh the feeling, And Michael the cycle does not have to repeat. There are so many ways to make changes in life. Starting with God, who leads to peace. This was truly well written and so heartfelt. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Elizabeth

Moderator

Member Ascendant

since 1999-06-07

Posts 6871
Minnesota

17 posted 2002-02-07 11:09 PM

Not having experienced parenthood yet, I'll have to just echo Nan and Sharon's words. However, Michael, I wish you and Mikey the best in everything. Nice to read you again, and take care.

God bless America, my home sweet home.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

18 posted 2005-08-24 10:50 PM

I can sure feel this one as it is really close to home for me. I think we are doing what we can do by recognizing the signs, and just being the parent perhaps we didn't have when we are needed? I too wonder if it is genetic, seems so.

Oh you write the heart too well.

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