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Divine Intervention
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Divine Intervention |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking 
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Deep Searing hate just a matter of fate all our business done for today his divine intervention makes loving intentions into echoes that now fade away My memories cheapened old bonds are weakened I have nothing left to degrade As time gently slows and my misery grows so does the feeling that i've been betrayed So why say it's love when she's ruled from above and your second best in her heart and lets not pretend thats she's willing to bend when your relationship's falling apart Andrew Visit my forums @ http://chronicles.proboards4.com/index.cgi [This message has been edited by Marshalzu (08-16-2002 07:01 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Splendid write, Andrew. I'll be back to this one this evening. As for now, I need to jet. Be back... Sincerely, Titus "I'll prepare myself, and one day my time will come." |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
aww it's andrew and titus.. i've missed reading from both of you. Glad to see you posting again Zu. Always did admire your work. Loved the flow and rhyme scheme of this. I loved this opening... quote: I also thought the second stanza was just -so- beautiful. Great write Andrew. Hope to see you around more. tiff “A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.” "Words are windows to the heart." [This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (08-16-2002 03:39 PM).] |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
grr, ignore this. damn browser stuck on me.  “A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.” "Words are windows to the heart." [This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (08-16-2002 03:38 PM).] |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Sometimes the feeling of betrayal is surprising, sometimes it's not. Good write, you're definately improving on what was already incredible talent. [This message has been edited by Skyfire (08-17-2002 12:55 AM).] |
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paper doll Member
since 2002-08-04
Posts 133Floating on Uncertainty |
The rhyme scheme in this kicks some serious ass, Andrew. You've really made a stand with this piece and explored the theme in such an amazing way. Betrayal often brings out the best in our writing and this is no exception to you. Many aspects of the piece are fantastic so for now I'll leave it and say well done, be proud and I look forward to seeing more. ~M Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality. |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
wow...just wow, i really liked this. awesum job man.  ~Ur feelings never change, u just learn 2 hide them~ |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
heh thank you for all of the replies for this poem, they are much appreciated  Andrew Mister Zu: A self confessed cannibal |
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alex m Junior Member
since 2002-08-27
Posts 12 |
im not really good at commenting on other peoples poems because i usually dont know how to put it but... suffice to say i liked the poem |
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