Teen Poetry #4 |
American Beauty |
Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Masquerades of picket fences Cups of coffee dull your senses Sunrise sunset sunrise sunset You’ve died but you don’t know it yet Enslaved by owning your possessions Bury deep your true confessions Don’t stop to see what you’ve become You know its what you’re hiding from So carry on with smiles fake And pay the toll life's come to take You cannot open self closed eyes American beauty denies [This message has been edited by Kevin (edited 01-21-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Kevin Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
"Masquerades of picket fences Cups of coffee dull your senses Sunrise sunset sunrise sunset You’ve died but you don’t know it yet" An interesting look at the other side of the "all American dream". Great style and flow. Thanks for sharing. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
*nods* in approval with LoveBug. First couple of lines just infested the rest of the poem with this certain kind of explosiveness.. I loved this one. ~JDR "Is it love in my gut, or piss in my bladder?" -Allan Riverwood |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
bravo!! very nice post... funny thing, i wrote one with the same title, but I think I like yours much more. thanks for posting it Salma |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Wow, I'm quite impressed. Good job Bel |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was great! I liked the whole flow of it and it's just great. Good one Kevin! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I really enjoy your writing style Kevin ... wonderful flow to your words, keep up the great work! Best wishes, /Kit |
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The Lost Supertone Member
since 2001-01-20
Posts 74Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
To be honestly, I saw the tittle and not being formilar with your work I kinda just ignored it.. untill I saw that at least 6 people thought it good enough to reply... and when I read it i said to myself I said Self yes Self what do you want Self Do I have to beat you up or will you start talking well if you 'd just let me talk! well why don't you because you keep interupting! Oh well fine then ok good self yes Ahg shUT UP! fine self, what did you think of this poem. I thought it kicked sweet bootay, so did I why did that take so long? I dono, probably because we're kinda stupid |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I dont think I'll ever quite beat the last reply there, but I did love the poem, the stlye flows great and I loved these lines: "Sunrise sunset sunrise sunset You’ve died but you don’t know it yet" a real whole heck of a lot, for some reason. Yeah, so great job, thanks for sahring this. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
marvelous thoughts I guess i'm gonna be reading more of your work I don't think I've missed that much but how can I have missed your talent in writing thanks for the read keep em coming I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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