navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #8 » Just Another Night
Open Poetry #8
Post A Reply Post New Topic Just Another Night Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Kit McCallum
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2000-06-23 09:27 AM

(I should maybe have posted this poem to the Dark Passions Forum ... I apologize if I made the wrong decision, was feeling a little Vincent Priceish today)      

     Just Another Night

He lurked amongst the cedar hedge,
   As shadows filled the night;
A creature blending with the dark,
   To keep him from her sight.

The night was still, the silence deep,
   The air was damp and cold;
And from his hidden vantage there,
   He plotted schemes untold.

If one had seen him standing there,
   You’d think he was alone;
And yet, his head was filled with voices,
   Urging him along.

They spoke to him in urgent tones,
   His twisted mind did dwell,
On visions of his target there,
   Beyond the window sill.

He slithered closer, cautiously,
   The only sounds to hear,
Were cracklings of the underbrush ...
   He shifted then, and leered.

His eyes were dark, like blackened orbs,
   Held wildness there within;
An empty vessel looking back,
   Glared remnants of his sins.

He moved with automation,
   While his breath came hoarse and deep;
He watched his prey with naked shame,
   As she prepared for sleep.

And in the room, not far away,
   She hesitated then;
A prickling, strange sensation
   Filled her heart with pending dread.

She peered out from the window
   As she heard a crackling sound ...
And swiftly scanned the woods beyond;
   Her heart began to pound.

Her eyes were wide and panic filled,
   While terror filled her thoughts;
Her intuition straining;
   Something tangible, she sought.

She shrugged her shoulders, shook her head,
   To wipe her fear away ...
‘Twas nothing out of ordinary,
   Sighed ... and moved away.

She stretched and yawned, smiled softly,
   As she reached to find the light;
While darkness then enveloped her;
   ... ‘Twas just another night.

/Kit McCallum

© Copyright 2000 Kit McCallum - All Rights Reserved
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278
1 posted 2000-06-23 10:50 AM

This is simply great I am lost for words so here a WoW is in order   Well written, and wonderful imagery  
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

2 posted 2000-06-23 10:59 AM

Very fright'ning! Wonderfully written, Kit!

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

Kit McCallum
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
3 posted 2000-06-23 01:21 PM

~Whiskey:  Thank you so much for the WoW Whiskey  
~Claire:  Thanks so much Claire, I appreciate it!  

Much appreciation,

Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754
Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!!
4 posted 2000-06-23 01:24 PM

I liked this it really drew me in.....I need your inspiration!!! HELP!!!   Great work!!

Julie :)

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
5 posted 2000-06-23 01:35 PM

Delightful writing from you Kit.

I read on and on till the end and read back and forth...

look who's watching, don't we all feel some spirits are lurking in closets, and in thin air...some sixth sense theme this...  

very nicely written. enjoyed a lot...

regards, sudhir

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee,
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

- John Donne

Kit McCallum
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
6 posted 2000-06-23 03:28 PM

~JulieAnn: Thank you for "your" inspiration JulieAnn ... I'll pop over in a sec!
~Sudhir:  Thanks Sudhir!  I tried to leave  this a little open to the reader's interpretation (stretching the pen some more) ... glad you enjoyed!  

Much appreciation,

Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

7 posted 2000-06-23 03:38 PM

Spooky, Kit! I enjoyed it much! Beautiful imagery, also!  

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea

Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2000-06-23 07:13 PM

"If one had seen him standing there
You'd think he was alone.
And yet his head was filled with voices
urging him along."
This kindof touches on the insanity plea...I believe if a man commits a crime, he must do the time.  What kind of madness leads someone to do wrong?   James

Jeffrey Carter
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!
9 posted 2000-06-23 07:21 PM

Ooh! Kit,

I really liked this one

Kinda reminds me of an old "B" movie I saw recently called "Have you checked the children?"

Very, very excellent depictions of "the willies" in this one  

All my love,

I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep

Kit McCallum
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
10 posted 2000-06-23 07:30 PM

~Lovebug:  Loved the ooooo's!  Thanks Lovebug!
~James: I wish I had answers James, and I was touching a bit on that.  I've worked with schizophrenic patients years ago, and have always been fascinated by the voices they hear and communicate with. I agree, when someone falsely uses that as a legal strategy however, that is truly unconscionable.

Much appreciation,

[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 06-23-2000).]

Kit McCallum
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
11 posted 2000-06-23 07:33 PM

~Jeffrey:  Ooops, you snuck in there on me Jeffrey (weren't hiding in the bushes were you?)   I've seen that movie too ... know exactly what you mean!  Thanks for the great comments!

Much appreciation,

Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

12 posted 2000-06-23 08:52 PM

Yikes! Spooky feel to this, Kit! Very well done!


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
13 posted 2000-06-23 09:34 PM

'A prickling, strange sensation'

You got that right !
Well done ... my friend.

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
14 posted 2000-06-23 10:02 PM


Just reading this gave me a strange sensation!!  Like I could see him in the bushes.  Excellent writing!!!  Felt like I was there too.  


Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end.
--Michael W. Smith

Tennessee Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661
15 posted 2000-06-23 11:25 PM

This was awesome!!  Kinda made me want to look over my shoulder while I was reading it.  At first I thought it was about a vampire...then maybe an insane asylum escapee...but then I thought maybe just a peeping Tom.  I love the way the reader is left to make up his or her own mind.  Anyway, Excellent Piece!!  

--You can either take me as I am...or you can watch me as I go.--

Kit McCallum
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
16 posted 2000-06-24 10:00 AM

~Denise: Thanks for the yikes and the well done Denise!  
~Marge: Glad you felt the sensation Marge ... thanks much!  
~LoneWolf:  That's what I was going for LW ... thanks for saying so!!  
~Tennessee Angel:  I loved all your interpretations Tennesse Angel ... glad you enjoyed the read!  

Much appreciation to all,

Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa
17 posted 2000-06-24 10:31 AM

As soon as I read this I thought what a perfect compliment to the song Moon over bourbon street by sting (about a vampire), It has the same eerie charm and foreboding, Excellent work I enjoyed it.

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
18 posted 2000-06-24 10:35 AM

Hey Kit, Waiting for part 2
This was wonderful!
Really captivating

Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596
Callington, Cornwall, England
19 posted 2000-06-24 11:56 AM

Kit, what can I say? Awesome! I was hunched forward in my seat, gripping its edge and reading furiously. The suspense is terrific.


"We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka.

Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
20 posted 2000-06-24 12:01 PM

Not left me in suspense here...great work Kit!


I'm grabbing my hat and coat
I'm leaving the cat a note
Quick call me a ferry boat-getting out of town!

Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
21 posted 2000-06-24 04:35 PM

That 'prickly sensation' is running up and down my spine! Great job on this poem, Kit!

Love and hugs,

"Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight."

Kit McCallum
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
22 posted 2000-06-25 08:45 PM

~Olias: Thank you for the wonderful comments Olias! I don't think I know that song by name though, maybe if you hum me a few bars?  
~Elizabeth:  Thanks Elizabeth ... Part 2 eh?  I'll see what I can do sometime!?  
~Eric:  Loved your comments Eric! Glad you had a good read ... thanks!
~Elizabeth:  Hmmm ... not fair eh Elizabeth? Maybe I should try a Part 2 then afterall.  Thanks so much for reading!
~Lizzie:  Glad you got the pricklies and enjoyed Lizzie!  Thanks!

Much appreciation to all,

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #8 » Just Another Night

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary