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Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

0 posted 2000-03-01 11:21 PM

THE MAN I'LL NEVER BE

She tells me that she loves me,
It eases the pain, if but for awhile.
I don't feel quite so ugly
When she looks on me with that smile.
Now I lie in darkness dying,
With her right here next to me.
Cause I can't help but crying
For the man I'll never be.

I only wanted to forget the pain,
But, God, what have I done?
I went and gave my love in vain,
Now who's the calloused one?
You had to go and break my heart,
Now you're gonna break hers too.
Cause everything I am, in part,
Is somehow still part of you.

She's genuine and giving,
And she holds me to no shame.
She's tender and forgiving,
Dreams of sharing my last name.
She says I'm all she's waited for,
I am her dream come true.
And her, she's everything I adore,
Everything that is, but you.

How can I be her heaven
When I lie here in such hell?
Why are you still the vision
That my sweetest dreams foretell?
Why can't I accept the love I see
Right here before my eyes?
I cry for the man I'll never be,
And the love lost to your lies.

Michael Anderson

'Tis true, Love lasts forever,
Only her memory slips away.

[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-02-2000).]

Mistikman
Senior Member

since 2000-01-10

Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA

1 posted 2000-03-01 11:25 PM

Ok Michael, this has to stop. You have given me goosebumps 3 times in one day

Yet another phenominal piece Michael. I have run out of new words to commend your work.

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

2 posted 2000-03-01 11:25 PM

You will never be the man for her, but you are STILL a man with many attributes, let's see sense of humour and fun, smart, caring, thoughtful, a terrific poet, great Dad etc.
Some would bend over backwards to get a man such as yourself.
Did that bring a quiver to your lips? A tiny one? Hope so my friend.
Beautiful poem nonetheless

May the world hug you today,
With it's warmth and love.
I pray it whispers a joyful tune in your heart,
That tell you there is a friend sitting in another corner of the world,
Wishing you well and
wishing you love......
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2000-03-01 11:32 PM

this touches me deeply, you can't know.

~shadows dance by the light within~

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

4 posted 2000-03-01 11:33 PM

Michael, you got a factory there working 3 shifts? Your poems are coming out like bullets and every one is better than the one before! Excellent work....

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

5 posted 2000-03-01 11:36 PM

A masterpiece......there is nothing more to say.

RufffRyder
Member

since 2000-02-25

Posts 143
<------Over There------>

6 posted 2000-03-01 11:36 PM

Michael~I in no way am trying to be a jerk.
Buddy you need to get this woman out of your mind and look around you.
Life has so many ups and downs,you can`t spend your life giving pleasure to the one that has taken your heart.
Just like a fire that burns,it needs fuel.
I see you adding fuel every time that you write.
Im not trying to be an a** but buddy stop giving her a reason to smile.
After all isn`t that what she`s taken from you?
Michael I`m sorry for being a jerk but I just wanted to share something from one Man to Another.
Nice read and I thank you for sharing

Im sorry but I had to edit this.
I just read the TITLE again.
Michael you are as much a man as any man will ever be.
Michael let her be the one to deal with
the B.S. that a broken Heart has to offer
Do Not Let Anyone Ever Take That Away or Have The Satisfaction Of Seeing You For Anything Less Than A Man.
In My Book And Many Others,Your The Man

[This message has been edited by RufffRyder (edited 03-02-2000).]

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

7 posted 2000-03-01 11:43 PM

I think I have run out of words too! You writing some Exquisite poetry my friend!

<*\\\><

There's only two ways you can go...
One way you can save your riches,
And the other will save your soul.
Rich Mullins

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

8 posted 2000-03-01 11:54 PM

Figuratively Michael, this is great...but I still feel you hurting...stop thinking of who you'll never be, and start concentrating on the wonderful, caring person that you are!!! I'm not going to make threats...but I better see a smile...or else!!! LOL!!

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

9 posted 2000-03-02 12:03 PM

I think a lot of you are misinterpreting my meaning. I'm not crying over "the man that can't be with his ex", I'm crying over "the man who can't love because of the ex, even though he sees true love right in front of him..." I have no desire to go back to something that was never real to begin with, believe me. So far as getting it out of my system, I didn't fall in love over night - nor would I expect to get over it over in a night. I hope that clarifies my meaning a little better.

Thank you all for the comments.

Michael

[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-02-2000).]

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

10 posted 2000-03-02 12:05 PM

Well - I'm going to differ from the general rule here - and say: 'Take time out to be as depressed as you want to be for awhile.' Yes, my friend - I say grieve. Part of that is self negation - I believe you'll be fine - just give it the time you need.

Great poem.

K

'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

11 posted 2000-03-02 12:34 PM

Well Michael, I'm not one to avoid adding my two cents, and I know two cents arn't worth much these days but...
I think you should keep writing no matter where it leads. What your writing these days, because of your strong emotions is the type of quality that will be read a hundred or more years from now.
Now on the other hand, there is something called negative re-enforcement.
This may not be what is happening here, and we hope not because everybody here cares about you. This negative re-enforcement can cause a down spiral effect, into deep depression. Don't let this happen to you. Step back from your poetry and put some counter positive emotions back into your head. Balance will give you the strength to help things fade to a dull roar.
another option is to just ignore my quackery here cause I'm probably way off base and don't know what I'm talking about.
In anycase just keep writing these amazing pieces.

Parker... (all spelling mistakes are intentional)

CrazyChick
Member

since 2000-01-05

Posts 132

12 posted 2000-03-02 02:32 AM

You have an incredible talent with words!!!
great job

RufffRyder
Member

since 2000-02-25

Posts 143
<------Over There------>

13 posted 2000-03-02 02:55 AM

Michael,
I forgot to mention that this is a great piece here.

[This message has been edited by RufffRyder (edited 03-02-2000).]

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

14 posted 2000-03-02 05:40 AM

I can't comment on your life, only on your poetry, and it is superb. Your poetry, however, is a mirror of the person that you are, and it is exceptional.
Liz

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

15 posted 2000-03-02 06:36 AM

In the dim light within a shattered soul
lies a picture of a scarred aching man
seems the interior camera has broken
and that's the only saved picture he has.
Through the optical lens of my caring eyes
the view seems a little bit different,
I see a kind friend reflectively healing
as each day a new image appears
in the mirror of his thoughts.
He writes to ease his sheltered pain
drawing pictures while he slowly heals
soon we'll see the evolution
into the man he'll come to be.

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

16 posted 2000-03-02 08:27 AM

Mistikman, LOL at the goosebumps.

Isis, quivering, heck - I'm shaking in my boots!  Seriously, thank you for reminding me there's some good in me, I forget at times.

passing shadow, you could tell me...

Balladeer, 3 shifts and I'm supervising 'em all, isn't it amazing what a severe lack of sleep conjurs up in the mind?

RufffRyder,  you make some valid points.  I hate to sound like cliche' but only Time will allow me to see beyond the passion that fuels me right now.  Believe me, I long for the day.

devina,

How's that, if you want any more your gonna have to come down and tickle them out of me!

Severn, As I know you fully understand what I am going through, I thank you very much. that's what I intend to do...lest I hold it all in and it be a burden to me forever.

Haleyja, your concern is genuine, however I write as a release for the depression I suffer from.  That is my sole key to sanity, me thinks.  When I'm not writing out the dark emotion I bear...I'm truly lost.

Liz, a humble thank you.

Gloria, I still see that light...and I'm growing stronger as I get closer to it.  I thank you for your devotion and loyal friendship but most of all for your believing in me.  The future is looking brighter everyday.

Thank you, everyone, for the kind comments - and even the not so kind ones...LOL  Your opinions and criticisms are always honored.

Michael

[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-02-2000).]

angelswing
Senior Member

since 2000-02-10

Posts 705
United Kingdom

17 posted 2000-03-02 08:42 AM

If love is not in memory, then was it love at all ? Great poem, we can only be ourselfs remember, so we must be happy with what we have . Have you ever tryed writing a song, I think it could fit well, may be an Elton John 'sorry seems to be the hardest word' style . Think about it . Love the poem keep em coming .

With poetry as your weapon - express your iner feelings so all may carry your sorrow, united as one .

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

18 posted 2000-03-02 09:47 AM

We each bring our own perspectives to what we read... this is a phenomenal poem, Michael... it may be about your pain but it reminded me of how painful it is to lie beside someone who wishes he was with someone else.... knowing you're a lousy substitute for what someone really wants isn't fun. *S*

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

19 posted 2000-03-02 10:01 AM

Micheal, this was heartbreaking to read. May it speed your cleansing.

Many are praying for you.

--Kess

Full fathom five thy father lies,
Of his bones are coral made,
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange...

--William Shakespeare, from The Tempest

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

20 posted 2000-03-02 02:05 PM

She tells me that she loves me,
It eases the pain, if but for awhile.
I don't feel quite so ugly
When she looks on me with that smile.
Now I lie in darkness dying,
With her right here next to me.
Cause I can't help but crying
For the man I'll never be.

I only wanted to forget the pain,
But, God, what have I done?
I went and gave my love in vain,
Now who's the calloused one?
You had to go and break my heart,
Now you're gonna break hers too.
Cause everything I am, in part,
Is somehow still part of you.

M, this poem is SO expressive and touching and I am taken by its emotions, the honesty of your words and pain. No advice, no poetic reply...just pure awe, each poem is more amazing and intense than the one before.
This one made me better understand your reply to me yesterday, about trusting your judgement.take care, janet marie

When you see through love's illusions, there lies the danger...
And your perfect lover just looks like a perfect fool
So you go running off in search of a perfect stranger
While the loneliness seems to spring from your life
Like a fountain from a pool.

Jackson Browne

Miss.Queeny
Junior Member

since 2000-02-26

Posts 22

21 posted 2000-03-02 04:06 PM

Michael

WOW ! You write in a beautiful manner, one which is strongly feminine.
Keep it up...

Love...Q xxx

Tara Simms
Senior Member

since 1999-08-12

Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA

22 posted 2000-03-02 04:12 PM

This is an exceptional piece, Michael!

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

23 posted 2000-03-02 06:31 PM

Michael...I can not wait till the day I see you celebrate the man you are, not the man you'll never be. Perhaps the man you needed to be to fit her is not the man you are to begin with. If it's any consulation....the man I see is a pretty wonderful guy

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

24 posted 2000-03-03 12:06 PM

This is excellent writing, Michael! Another masterpiece!!

Denise

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