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Open Poetry #43
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I wish I was Dead
| Open Poetry #43 |
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I wish I was Dead |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55
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My life is ruined I wish I was dead Nothing to live for I hope I die in my sleep Before Christmas If God is real Which he is not I dare him To give me a brain tumor Jesus you liar All things I loved Like the warm sun Or the smell of chlorine Nothing but pain now I hate all creation Pray for my death I am begging you Before Christmas Before the snow I can't do it again |
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| © Copyright 2008 Lobsang - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Lobsang, Dr. Tuesday Lobsang Rampa would never wish that for himself. Christmas is the pits for many people. Try not to think about it. Bobby |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
With a login name like yours which in German means "hymn of praise", it seems to me you are really opposing heavily your true nature ... There are moments in life when we fall into dark tunnels and feel like we shall never again see the light. But we always do, trust! Don't blame God and creation for your sufferings and don't try destiny. You are here for a purpose, you are loved. You will come out of your despair and the negativity you see now will transform and you will learn from this event and gain more wisdom. Be Lobsang and you will again appreciate the sun through your tears. Praying for peace to enter your heart. Love, Margherita "Love is the One who masters all things; |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Oh screw don't blame "God". There is no God. It is just a delusion. I mean at least I am sane enough to realize that. |
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Pantheress Member
since 2008-11-02
Posts 215Queensland, Australia |
We all have choices.. AND life is what you make of it, be safe.. take care of you.. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
My Christmas depression....I've called it that for four decades, since I picked up that term from an acquaintance named Roy Kenagy, a brilliant poet who had a knack for giving things just the right names. What he actually said was, "My Christmas depression -- I try not to let it get me down," and he didn't. He'd make it a point to do off-beat and funny social things during that time, knowing full well that they were a crutch to get him through the season, because he also knew full well that there was nothing wrong with a crutch. I just Googled him, and found that he's still doing that (www.statelibraryofiowa.org/archive/2008/oct08/08i/silly/view you'll have to add the http stuff yourself, sorry), and I've done it on occasion too, though I'm not really a social guy. Whatever you do, find a weapon and wield it! It's worth doing! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> ______________Ratleader______________ |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
No matter how mad I am I thank god for food and shelter and two good friends and the internet. I seriously go days or weeks with out saying a word to anyone. Every one suffers. It is how we react to these events that make us who we are. Don't get hung up over the past, cause if you do you miss all of the things that happen now. I like to think that things don't go our way, because we are not perfect and how can we expect others to be? I make a habit of looking in the mirror and asking myself what is good about me every morning. I think you should try it. -Juju |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Lobsang - I would say that you've got some very good advice from the poets here but I do know that when we are depressed good advice is like water off a ducks back. I believe that it's important to acknowledge our feelings and to know them for what they are and then to move on to better thoughts. How we think is how we are. God? Maybe we are all Gods in our own way and direct the course of our lives by what we think. Thoughts are things - think good ones and when the bad ones come just cancel them and look for something to be grateful for - and then say "thank you". Expect the best and I'm sure you'll get the best but expect the worst and, yes, of course, you'll get the worst. Oh, and we always have to give what we want to receive and then be open to receive. Sorry to have gone on like this but I've sort of been where you are and know that it's a hard climb up again. You are your own best friend - all friends deserve love and kindness. Growing into life is a difficult process ... and now I'll stop because I've still got a lot of growing to do and I've got less time than you. Helen |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I sense that you have greater problems than depression, Losang and send to you all my positive energy and healing thoughts. If you choose to end the pain, may you get your wish. Ida |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
"I sense that you have greater problems than depression" Aint that an understatement. You sensed right Ida |
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ms robey Junior Member
since 2008-11-18
Posts 25davenport iowa |
This is the saddest thing I've ever heard . If this is truly how you feel , you definetly need a support system. Life is what you make it(simply spoken but true). I will make sure I keep you in my prayers and god truely loves you that's why you're still here. |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
No life is NOT always what you make it. Sometimes things are not changeable. People tend to think it is what you make it until they are confronted with real impenetrable, unchangeable tragedy. It does exist. The premise that all things can get better either in the physical universe or by a change in perspective is erroneous. The only way out for me is my death. And the only way for that to happen is to get sick or in an accident. Since I am not a person inclined to do it myself. Hopefully I will get sick and die soon. With as little suffering as possible. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Lob, every word you just said is absolutely true. In fact, there's only one factor in the equation that can change: You can become a person who is able to handle it. It's not easy and it's certainly not a matter of just saying "Presto, Change-o" and you're different. It can take years, but, just as you could learn to (I dunno, pole vault? Do quadratic equations in your head?) with enough effort and inside growth, you can also get to a place where you can be ok doing life in spite of having vast expanses of it suck. I know, oh boy do I ever know, that this can be done, because I've done it before. I've been where you are, and I've been where I am, and I've been thrown back to Point A with a long fight ahead of me to get to Point B again. So don't croak just yet, eh? You can get there too, unless you're so much more comfortable being miserable, that you want to stay where you are. That's also a place I've got a T-shirt from, and there have been times when I've had to flog myself into acting like I wanted to make it different, long enough to actually start wanting it again. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Again we come back to this concept of people basing their experience on anothers out come. Believe me there are impossible situations. Just because you have not been in one does not mean that they do not exist. Additionally I do not want to live. I do not believe in God or that life is special. It is just a phenomena. There is no good or evil. So I would rather be dead. Thats all. There is no reason to want to continue. I have seen enough. I just need to die in a natural way. Like sickness. There is simply no reason to live. And I am getting sicker every day. So it will happen. I hope I do not suffer too much. There are situations where things are ruined with no hope and anything but suffering is impossible. It is not a choice. That is like saying to a person with a brain tumor that the pain is a choice. I hope I am dead soon. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Yep, just as I thought -- you do like feeling that way. You cherish those feelings, because having them gives you an emotional payback....whatever it is, you get a lift out of feeling trashed. Good luck with it. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
No actually that is not true. I need to die. When you only have a few weeks to live it is not a matter of "liking to feel that way". You have no idea what so ever what my situation is. None at all. Do you? It is easy to judge. Very easy. If I wanted "emotional payback" I would not be seeking death. Fundamentally the concept I am trying to convey is that there is no God. IT is a delusion and life is not important. And the premise that all situations are possible to overcome is erroneous. |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Sloth and Gluttony are one of the seven sins -Juju |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Well gee it must be a good poem if it congers up all these assumptions. We have progressed to me now being a sloth and a glutton. That is from needing emotional payback to all sorts of stuff. I was not looking for solutions guys. The poem already stated what I wanted quite directly. Death. But thanks for the comments. I find it funny how much people assume. But anyway even if you did not say it I achieved my goal through the poem. That was for you to feel my pain. But do not fear death. I don't For me it is peace. I can't wait to not exist any more. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: It seems to me that people CARE ... But let's ASSUME something, something "funny": You might fall in love tomorrow! You never know! In that case your life would suddenly be precious again, believe me, under whatever circumstances. Love and PEACE ... Margherita ps: What do we really know about NON EXISTING anymore after death? Think about it! |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. Read Jane Kenyon's Otherwise and Alan Booth's Looking For the Lost. . |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Now again with all due respect we come back to assumptions. No I would not consider life to be precious if I was in love. And how do you know I am not? I could "fall in love" any darn time I wanted. But I have realized that love is an illusion. A simple construct of the brain of a higher animal to potentiate adaptation from an evolutionary standpoint. So no being in "love" is nothing special to me. In fact if I was in "love" my pain would be worse because I would realize that it was not possible n the long term. But I will be arrogant enough to say I do know what death is like. It is what was before we were born. A state of non-self. You see I have transcended things like thinking love is special or belief in God. Or belief that love is something other than an animalistic survival adaptive phenomena. There is no good or evil in the world. Just suffering and lack of it. Hitler was no worse than Ghandi. Neither will have any meaning in the end. Everything is a lie and a delusion. I wish I was dead and never lived. It is not worth it. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Yep, yer just a weed on the human race..... I was thinking the same thing, that one measure of a poem is how strongly it affects people -- bingo, success! ......little known fact -- actually Uncle Adolph was better than Ghandi in one way -- he may have lusted for his cousin, but at least he wasn't a pedophile. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. Nonsense Ed, "Since I am not a person inclined to do it myself." says it all to me. . . Go look at a sunset We don't have many left Don't waste your time Your hands tell you as much. John . |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I think your poem says what many a person feels when something is coming that we fear (like the holidays for instance.) Walking away is the easy way out, but facing it as best we can is part of the journey and our challenge. Thank goodness we each have the freedom and ability to make choices. Here's to making the right one. Very dark, poignant and thought provoking. |
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TRACE2RYM Junior Member
since 2008-10-09
Posts 38 |
I'll give you credit for one thing, you have got every person (including me) to respond to your rant. I find it interesting that we all have the quick response to try to save you, but your statement, " I need to die. When you only have a few weeks to live it is not a matter of "liking to feel that way". says it all. I also find it interesting that you feel you need to die, you are going to die, and you want to die, you have no belief in a superior being, yet you don't have the strength to do it yourself. (again an asumption that you have the ability, yet not the fortitude). So, lets see if I see this clearly,,, you want to die, you are going to die, you want it to happen naturaly, or by the hand or thoughts for someone else, (Pray for me to die, TO WHO??) What a great learning experience, We all can learn from your "poem" However, I think if you play this right, you can make this string go on for a long time after you have left this earth. But you will not be here to see what you have created. Congratulations on your sucsess, if that is what you had in mind, don't want to assume again. Have fun with your experiment. As for the poem, It didn't move me as much as it could have. Lighten up. |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. "As for the poem" "poem" Please . . . . |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Patience, m'friend, patience... sigh |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
"poem" It's a Haiku. he he he PS I read the poem you advised. It was good. Screw the world. I am grateful for nothing. Life sucks. I spit in the face of the alleged creator. Thanks. |
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Bladecatcher Junior Member
since 2008-11-25
Posts 15 |
I empathize with you to an extent... but I do think there is a meaning in life. Is that meaning to serve God? No. At best, religion is a crutch that makes people feel better about themselves (and there's nothing wrong with a crutch right?). At worst it's a form of mind control. For the record, I'm atheist simply because I don't believe in a higher power (for some reason every Christian I meet assumes that something went wrong/is wrong with my life because I don't believe in God). I believe the meaning in life is to simply improve the life of our fellow human beings... the time we have on earth is finite, so, if you really are an atheist, why try to end it early? Why not ride it out and see what happens? Make the most of you life, cause you only live once (cliche as it sounds). If you find meaning in religion, then whats wrong with religion? Provided that the meaning isn't the kill every infidel/jew/homosexual in the world. |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
You know, You remind me of someone who use to be here. His poems... He ended up becoming one of the most beloved poeple here. So as long as your poems meet pip rules I think you should continue to post here. There are other ways not to feel lonely my dear. You don't have to be this way for poeple to read your poems. In fact I read poems of poeple of no posts often. Since I write darker poetry, and you encourage critiques, may I suggest something? Don't say you are being choked by life. Talk about the hands around your neck tightening. Poetry doesn't leave things to the imagination, unless you really, really want it to. Juju PS don't do suicide poems here you will get kicked off. You may want to ask a mod to edit it or take it out. -Juju -"So you found a girl Who thinks really deep thougts What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
and I have read this poem thru out my day and the replies and responses along with it... my only comment would be.. "I wish you peace.." Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Pantheress Member
since 2008-11-02
Posts 215Queensland, Australia |
It is never to late to be what you might have been, let the dark places be ablaze with love and poetry.. We may not choose the path we're given, but we have a choice on how we respond and deal with it, We don't choose to have a brain tumor and constant pain, but we do have a choice how we cope with this.. we can hate the world and stay in a dark ugly place.. or we can love the world, share with all we touch to make our burden a lighter one, by the smiles we share with others.. be safe.. May you find inner peace and strength, as the path your choosing is the hardest one.. |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
What I find interesting is that people innately do not see death as a viable satisfactory option. And then there is the "love' thing. I think that people believe reality is what they perceive it to be. They judge it based on their condition and experience. I find it interesting that the comments assume that you know something I do not. But please consider that I may have deciphered something about the nature of reality that you have not. I have lived a very texturally rich life on the edge of the earth. I have studied many things. I have been a doctor and a homeless person. Been a christian and an occultist. A student of science and philosophy. So perhaps I am looking at things from an experienced and valid perspective. I realize that the decision to need to die is not popular. Why? Well I think people may transpose their fears on to others. They will then say this is because they "care". I do not believe most people give a crap. Because if they did they would not have more than their fellow man when their fellow man is sick and hungry. Do you have more than you need? More than the basics for survival? Do you realize that by giving the extra away lives would be saved? Well if you live this way please don't come around telling me you "care". What you "care" about is yourself and your feelings. Because if you cared you would be sending all but your bare essentials to people like in Haiti. To my friend above that asked what is wrong with the "crutch" of religion. There is plenty wrong. In all circumstances. It is delusion pure and simple and only further bad decisions and delusion can come of it. |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Lobsang, Now lets see if I have this straight. "I spit in the face of the alleged creator." That's a neat trick. I spit in the street, because I know the street exists, and I know spitting in the street is against the law. That's what makes it fun. However, spitting in the face of something that doesn't exist is delusional. Bobby |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Hey Bobby Bobby, Well said. A |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
No I said "alleged". Meaning in the face of the delusion of others. Not mine. That is why I said alleged. I fully recognize that "god" is a delusional construct. And I think you know it too. You are just fond of believing otherwise. By "you" I mean most people. I think we all know there is no damn "god". I mean really deep down inside. Why does man perpetuate a delusion he knows not to be true? Even the "self" is a delusion. Just a mosaic of phenomena adding up to the "self" delusion. Couple this with fear and religion and you have the delusion of the soul. There aint no god. There aint no soul. There aint no eternal life. And whats more there aint no right or wrong. So you can twist it anyway you want but what you cannot twist is the reality that our lives are valueless and we are no better off alive than dead. |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Lobsang, Dictionaries do exist. Buy one. It will help you with illegal and non-existent words such as “ain’t”. Bobby |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Yes well you can attack my use of the word "ain't" but that is fine. But what you cannot attack is the truth that "god" and "love" are just a bunch of crap. And the self is a delusion. So er ah yeah.. Go ahead and critique my English. But that is just because you are in fear of the truth it reveals. Because the truth be know that if you did try and maintain the existence of God, love, importance to life or soul. I would tear it down so badly and hurt you. You know that so that you attack my English. It is the only thing you can attack. Just remember that there is no god. There is no eternal life. There is no right or wrong. There is no self. And when you die you are toast forever. "Amen." |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
You sound like a line from Macbeth., but only at an amateur level. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
gosh...I am kind of envious that this writing got way more attention than some of what I thought was my better stuff...  with that said... Lobsang, I don't know your story, only the seeming animosity displayed here. I only wish you whatever it is that you truly need. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" ~Unknown~ |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Susan. Do not despair ,The squeaking wheel gets all the attention , so does a squawking wheel. And I thought I was the East coast distributor of animosity . |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Lobsang, " I would tear it down so badly and hurt you." Good luck with that one lambchops, I've been hurt by experts. Bobby |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Well I did not mean that I would actively want to hurt you. I simply mean that as the consequence of me tearing it down one would be hurt. My intention is o not to hurt. But to break delusion. But along the way one will be hurt. At least temporarily. Hey. Having the secrets of the universe is not easy. Look at the pain I am in. lol |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Lobsang, Don’t be shy. You can make all the threats you want against me. I’m not exactly the favorite of the establishment here. Bobby |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
quote: Heh Susan. Since when has Open been about responses to poems as poems? I wouldn't feel envious if I were you; Open is communal therapy  . |
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WTBAKELAR
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089Utah, USA |
This string needs to be moved to the discussion forums. Maybe the Alley. Quote "Be tolerant of other people's beliefs and comments." Because you have nothing to believe in, do not assume it does not exist. You are so sure of your beliefs, that you are set in trying to push your beliefes on others. Not much different than extreme cults. Grow up, get a "life" move on, and have fun with your ornery self. "Go get laid" Take a chill pill. or what ever medication you may have forgotten to take. |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
No . I am not the one that pushed MY beliefs. I wrote a poem about needing to die and OTHERS began to insert THEIR beliefs. I KNOW what I need. So it was not ME that opened the door. You have. I did not ask for people to try and debate or convince me that I was wrong. Remember you opened the door. Not me. And as far as not "having" anything to believe in. The reality is that there IS NOTHING to believe in. Everything is false, dark, ruined and of no avail. Everything is hopeless as there is nothing real in the first place. The love you feel for another is a delusion. The love you feel for your child is false. A delusional construct of an evolved monkey. |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Interesting points Lobsang. You do believe in evolved monkeys then? Having got that far, in logic you need to be wary of what you rule out in terms of "feelings". For instance, if you believe in monkeys, you presumably believe in a monkey's ability to feel hunger? and fear? and sexual urges? As for your contention that god doesn't exist, you are of course absolutely correct in that subjective statement. You've ruled a deity out of your conciousness, ergo, it is unreal. And as for the death wish thing. Although it's unfashionable I think one has to try and respect individual choice even unto death. The way you've chosen to present your decision here, does frankly come over as a bit attention seeking and melodramatic, simply because you chose to make the statement of the desire without any supporting reasons or explanation. Think of it as a suspense movie with you as the director withholding the critical data. Having done that, it seems to me a bit disingeneous to express surprise when all the concerned folks here flock to try and "help" you. I can't immediately think of any good reason as to why you shouldn't pursue your desire if that's what you really want, except maybe that if you have any dependants or friends you may think it rather selfish to leave them distraught. But then if you are a selfish person, even that might not bother you too much. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Have you considered volunteering your body to medical science, like...now? They might be able to grant your wish for the brain tumor. They do it to those lesser evolved monkeys all the time. I had this friend, a gorgeous blonde, and her job was to cut the beating hearts out of anesthesized rats and hook up their teeny little hearts to a machine, while she timed how long the machine could keep the rat hearts viable. (I loved going to happy hour with her--the men all flocked to her and the inevitable moment when they asked her what she did for a living was priceless.) But actually, her work contributed enormously to more successful heart transplants. Just a thought.  That reminds me. I have a turkey to go prepare. Tomorrow is a day of gratitude. And since we're all just chiming in, I'd like to officially thank Sarah Palin for her now infamous interview in front of the Turkey slaughter machine. Don't mind me. The pain meds are kicking in. They make me talk too much. About pretty much anything. When they wear off, though, or I run out, I do confess that I have similar thoughts such as yours. Pain tends to make one grouchy. Happy Thanksgiving, Lob. Have a hug.  |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Well Moonbeam. That was a rational and coherent response. The problem with explaining "why" is that each of us is different. Each of us responds to situations differently. Has different degrees of tolerance for conditions which are not changeable. And example of this would be a person in pain from a terminal illness. One might pick euthanasia and another might not. Medical ethicists would support both usually. It would be what was acceptable to the individual. So we are confronted with the concept that reality is different for each of us. It impacts us differently. We are all genetically different in terms of neurology and we have been conditioned differently. So what holds true for you may not hold true for me. So if I go and say what the reasons are a person will attempt to project themselves into the situation. This now makes interpretation invalid. For example. If I said the problem was money people without any would go on a rant about how they live happy without any. If I said the problem was a broken family and marriage people would respond by saying how they lost those things but are now happy. If I said the problem was sickness then sick people would come forth an attempt to relate their experience. If I say I lost my profession so the same would go. But the operational difference is that they are not me. We are all different. Each a mosaic of different building blocks superimposed on differing neurology. |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Well Serenity. Thanks for the Thanksgiving wish. I wish the same for you. But lets get one thing straight. I am grateful for nothing and I spit on the whole holiday. For the most part just a bunch of people that do nothing for the folks in Haiti. No I am going to spend my holiday watching morbid videos of horrific tragedies. This changes my threshold for death. It is therapeutic. http://lobsangrampa.tripod.com/ |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
quote: Precisely, that's what I meant by subjective. But frankly, so what? If you take your logic to its conclusion you are saying: 1 We are all genetically different, therefore 2 We react to (all) things differently, therefore 3 There is no point in one entity interacting with another because they will always be unable to "understand" each other and nothing productive will result. Empirical evidence would tend to suggest that the logic chain breaks down after #1 (especially if you insert the "all"), and certainly breaks down after #2. Just because we are all genetically different doesn't rule out the observable phenomenon of intra-species (and even cross-species - think, horse and rider for example) cooperation. Many living entities have common nodes. Survival for instance. The need to eat. The desire to reproduce. And many many more which, though we may not precisely feel or see what another entity sees or feels we can make a close enough approximation so that data sharing becomes a productive activity. If you believe as I do, that there are probably an infinite number of universes and life possibilities, you may moreover be absolutely certain that somewhere there is another Lobsang who at this very moment is surfing another Piptalk with the same problems and the same solutions. You never know, he or she or it may happen to be nearer than you think. Anyway, you didn't answer the monkey question. Oh, and I had better comment on the poem I guess. It was fairly standard "beginners" self indulgent rubbish . But then maybe you knew that. |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Well I did not really understand the "monkey question". No I do not think the monkey can feel. Because there is no monkey. I do not think we can feel because there is no "we" or "I". It is simply a delusion. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Then cheer up. Maybe you're already dead. ? |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
quote: quote: You need to make up your mind on this. .......... However, that apparent contradiction aside, you seem to be heading off into the realms of the "unreality of matter" - not an entirely implausible proposition, given the way quantum physics seems to be headed. But if you sincerely believe that what we sense with our 5 senses is unreal, a position which I respect very much, then you really need to get a grip and stop wishing for something you can't have. For if material life is unreal then so is material death. And whatever state "you" are in now, you will also be in after the non-event you label "death". At least get a grip of your logic and don't wish for something that you yourself contend doesn't exist - that way you just look stupid as well as tetchy. |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Hey Karen, mwahhhh, ty for the CA reply. Back later, tomorrow ... sometime |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Well regardless of terminology. I need my life extinguished. Or better to say that which is defined as life relative to the condition of my body. And all matter is is universal intelligence. The unified field of consciousness being expressed at one level. All things ...material/energtic may be reduced to the same unified field/superstring. And that in the most final reduction is a field of consciousness. We are just flukes of the field. Organized adaptive accidents. |
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WTBAKELAR
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089Utah, USA |
WOW, THAT'S DEEP, You should write a poem! As in Poetry. You do seem inteligent? |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Yes usually the monkey will revert to childish "knocks" when it's delusional reality constructs are threatened. In other words God is a bunch of crap and there is no self or love. The love for your child is false. So go ahead and stomp your feet and call names. It does not change the fact that God is a bunch of nonsense and and your love is just some adaptive strategy that is expedient. What are you going to do now? Wet your pants and throw a tantrum? |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Lobsang, How's about if we just-- YAWN Bobby |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I just see this as a belly-up-to-the-bar-and-cry-in-your-beer poem. It's not very interesting. It's not very well written. I don't care enough based on what I read to wonder whythe character wishes to be dead. I just think - it ain't [grins at Bobby] all that hard to make some wishes come true. My thoughts are for the character in the poem is to deal with it and move on or go find a magic fishbone. There's really only one choice - to live or not live. If life is the choice, whining is only whining. One other thing - I am sure glad that we are not walking the same path. All this spitting is simply disgusting. A |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Good. I can accept that. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Well I think it's interesting. The poem could be better. The title did what it was supposed to do--make us read it. Your hostility in the replies leaves me undaunted. I say mean stuff too when I'm hurting. I wish you'd consider working on this, incorporating some of your replies into the poem. I'm curious about the author now--I want to know more. Chronic pain, dashed dreams, holiday depression changes people. Think about the re-write, Lob. I think it could be pretty compelling. Try it. |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
quote: I suppose this touches on what I was thinking about in CA Karen: "Poems from the heart". My own view is that right now this person doesn't appear to be in the frame of mind which will allow him/her to write a poem. Right through from the gimmicky title, designed, as you say, to catch attention, there is nothing in this that makes me want to read it for the sake of its artistry, or beauty of composition or interesting ideas or presentation or music. Its fascination lies in the sheer awfulness and unoriginality of the writing, and the voyeuristic element of a peep at a tortured mind - and don't we all love that! If you were, and are, trying to write a good poem Lobsang, I'd ditch the whole thing apart from the chlorine line, and build on that, trying your best to keep "I" and "me" out of it. Good luck. |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
"maybe you're already dead" Karen. you are just naturally hilarious. Ida |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
and ok, I don't mean to be rude or offend you... but seriously ... I'm over you.. and I think that would my very first negative comment on this board. I still wish you peace though. Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Hey I am not the one stuffing myself with turkey while kids starve. For christ sake. But anyway the points are. 1. There is no God 2. Love is just an animal survival trait 3. The love you feel for your child or spouse is false 4. When you die you are extinguished 5. Even the "self" is false and a delusion. Happy "Thanksgiving"! |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
The smell of chlorine in the morning. “I’d ditch the whole thing apart from the chlorine line” Moonbeam, and I thought you didn’t have a sense of humor. I think Lopsang is really a Baptist preacher, that has had to much happy wine. So lopsang, its therapeutic go right ahead release those demons and rub our noise in it. |
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divine chaos Senior Member
since 2006-07-09
Posts 617dancing 'neath the moon |
Lobsang, I'm sure my reply here will get more of your acidic, irrational nonsense, but I'm going to post it anyway, knowing that there will be more of your nonsensical prattle afterwards. You say you don't believe there is a God, that nothing exists ... really? Nothing? Ok then, you don't exist. You should be content. Oh wait .. that's right, nothing exists, so contentment doesn't exist! The peace that would come from your non-existent death does not exist. You don't exist, which means your "need" doesn't exist. How can one that doesn't exist need anything? Pain doesn't exist, those darling starving Haitians that you keep babbling about don't exist and even if they did exist on some plane of nonexistence, there would be no food to give them, because, of course, that doesn't exist either. So, there is no God, no love, no monkey, and no spoon. You exist only in the Matrix. Oh, sorry, forgot .. the Matrix couldn't exist either because for the Matrix to exist there would have to be people in pods living in that gunky pink stuff. It sounds to me like you're on a bad cracky trip. In my reality, God exists. I see him in the love of my family and friends, I see him in the beauty that surrounds me every day. Monkeys exist too. Go to the zoo and let one fling poo at ya, that might convince you that they do in fact exist .. and if not, it would still be amusing to the other people standing around, so your life would have meaning! And, apparently you exist .. for absolutely no other reason than to spread your misery like a plague across everyone that bothers to read your BS. One who believes in nothing, who "needs" or "wants" to die as much as you claim to would do something about it. One who thinks the way you claim to would not be here blasting it out for everyone to read .. they would quietly squirrel away and get to the end. What I see as existing is one very unhappy person that calls themselves Lobsang, who wants to make everyone else as miserable as they are ... a very melodramatic unhappy person who wrote a "poem" and posted it in a public forum in a pathetic attempt to garner sympathy and beg for attention because they have made themselves sound so pitiful and in need of 'saving.' Go ahead, reply ... and prove me right. It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Lopsang , I haven’t given you any advice. I think you are doing a great job without any help from me. You haven’t made me miserable, but thanks for trying. |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Yes but all of this does not change the fact that you are just an evolved monkey. That there is no loving God. That the universe is a fluke. And "love" is just an adaptive strategy of higher animals to preserve welfare of the species. So as stated you can knock me and stamp your feet and wet your pants like a 4 year old out of retaliation. Or you can face the facts. Your love is false. God is false. The very perception of reality as meaningful is a delusion. And when you die it's over. Your dead. Finished and done. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I checked out the web page of your poem via the link you provided and I must say in all honesty, that I was stunned by the incongruity between your words and the glorious images! While contemplating how I would respond to your poem, I was reminded of a poem that I had written some time ago. I hope you don not mind me posting it here ~ but it expresses what I personally believe. EARTH LIFE AIN'T EASY ~ Linda L. Dowd ~ Life on Earth ain’t always easy. It can be a pain and make you queasy. Dark brooding times can get us down, And can’t be hidden with face of clown. It isn’t for the faint of heart, There’s oft less sweet and more of tart. And when one’s lost and in a titter, Life turns from sour to downright bitter. But realize that black days fade, To somber grays of evening shade. Then next day the sun comes streaming, And once again you’re up and beaming. The hills and dales of every life, Are ones of sadness, joy, and strife. As we journey down our Road, Let go, let God ~ to lighten load. Each life is part of Divine Plan, For every woman, child, and man. We do not know the reasons why, But answers come when we die. With every life that we do live, There’s less of take and more of give. As we evolve we fill with Light, That brightens even darkest night. ~ and yes, I do believe in reicarnation. It has been proven to me many times over ~ and over again.  Besides, it makes sense to me ~ for how else could one explain the inequality of birth? May you find peace ~ within and without. EA |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Personally I think both this thread and the other are serving as little more than a forum for your peculiar brand of vitriol. A passing mod might like to consider locking. Bye for now and take care. |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
"Reincarnation" is far from proven. It is a delusional belief system based on a fear of losing the self. This is what man clings to. The self identity. But the self is a product of the filtration of universal consciousness through evolved matter. The brain. So when the brain dies the "self" is extinguished. But the timeless consciousness that roots all things continues of which we are a part. But we are gone. But fortunately "we" or the "self" is a very small thing. But no there is no reincarnation. Just the continued expression of the universal consciousness. Now some day the universe will end. All the matter and energy will be gone. There will be nothing. But the root consciousness will continue. It is below the material/energetic levels and thus not subject to time. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Au contraire, mon frere! My own reincarnations have unequivocably been proven to me many times over. I have goosebumps recalling all of the collaborative evidence. I believe that some of us are newer souls ~ some of us are older souls. That does not mean that one soul is any better than another. To my way of thinking, it just means that some have been around longer and hopefully learning with each incarnation. My own belief system works for me ~ and in spite of having had a very difficult life, I am for the most part, a happy person who is grateful for the filled half of my cup. |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Well actually Earth Angel what you are perceiving is the ancient remnants of your nervous system. You see we have evolved over a few billion years. So locked up in out brains and DNA is the record of that. So when you perceive it you see it as "lifetimes". You also will add creativity to this and come up with the perception of past lives. This is misconstrued as the Akashic record. All it really is is the fact that your nervous system is very old and you can experience it. But usually to access it well you need some type of "sacrament". Like LSD or "shamanic" plants. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Poems from the heart... now did I say that? I might have, I dunno. But I think it's a great place to start. I used to write directly into this little box, and hit submit. The result is that I hate everything I wrote, too. I think a nice "mix" is the option for me. But then, a lot of what I sumbitted here was writing exercizes as I played with utilizing different tools as I learned them. And if I get I get a spark of inspiration, maybe I'll try to weave my own poem outta this...shrug. Another writing experiment? Yanno, with the permission of Lobsang, I think it would make a great challenge for everyone, since his/her posts inspired such emotion in everyone, I think it would be fun, and apparently interesting since we can't seem to leave this alone. So c'mon, everybody, let's quit feeding this thread and get back to writing. Happy Thanksgiving, all! Write some poetry for Lobsang!  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
OH. For Linda (EarthAngel) When I see a cup half-full or half empty? I add ice. Love you, hon!  |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
"Write some poetry for Lobsang" Yes please. About pain, suffering, death and futility. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I see poetry in every single reply on this thread. I was just wondering what could be if everyone had written a poem to state their views...but you don't get to decide the tone for everyone. Sorry, but if this thing takes off? You may have unintentionally spawned a bunch of "life loving" poetry. *smile* If that happens, consider it an illusory backlash. *chuckle* Oh. You also reminded me that I forgot to take my Cymbalta. Thanks. (See? You're a do-gooder!)  *shaking my head* mysterious ways....  |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
“A passing mod might like to consider locking.” I hope not. Lobsang didn’t start anything we did and anyhow this is OPEN. I hope we keep it OPEN . |
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Grinch Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929Whoville |
quote: As an atheist I’m unlikely to argue with this. quote: Ah! Natural selection at work - again no argument from me. quote: At last an arguable point. The feeling of love, even if it’s an evolved survival trait, is still real. quote: Yep, have to agree, I believe that you kick the bucket and that’s your lot. quote: Hmm.. I think.. Therefore.. |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
"(See? You're a do-gooder!)" Hell I never claimed not to being a "do gooder". I have always done good in the world. I just need to die. know that love is unreal, know there is no God and a number of other socially unpopular things. You might be surprised at the things society perceives as "good" that I have done. But being a God rejecting death wishing communist/socialist just is not popular. But no I have done much good. Now if you want to see something evil. Look at the baby Jesus or the Virgin mary. Now those are evil. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Okay. I'm getting suspicious. You didn't really come here to write, didja? /pip/Forum8/HTML/000851.html Go read. It's Thanksgiving. Have a feast. ciao |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
A passing mod might like to consider locking. No, a passing mod might just smile at all of the responders having their buttons pushed so easily. My congrats to the author...... |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
***deleted comment*** One can critique the post but not the poster in Open. Personal insults are not acceptable here. [This message has been edited by Balladeer (11-27-2008 11:35 PM).] |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Oh darn. I did not get to see what was said. It is OK. I am not afraid to be personally attacked. I am a big boy. |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
quote: Heh heh, yes, I know you love pointless controversy Mike, but anyway, I meant a passing Mod, not you Balladeer. |
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FNG Member
since 2006-02-07
Posts 477 |
I still believe in God though im also in a pit hole...maybe not comparable to yours, lob. I had wished for death many times and really had prayed that I can die in an accident, in my sleep or getiing cancer. Honestly, im not cooking all this up. But hey, im still here and like the poets advised, i grow a little bit more each time i pulled through. But if the sufferings are a result of our own doings...take ownership of the consequences. instead of trashing at others and God. thats what i learnt... sounds your are either in a denial or angry state...take care my fren...i wish you peace in your heart. Be careful what you wished for, you might get it u know....christmas is round the corner.. |
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Lobsang Member
since 2008-05-14
Posts 55 |
Well no I am not in denial at all. I have had many years to think it over. Anyone that knows me knows I have an accurate view of my reality. And as far as taking ownership of consequences. For the things in my life what ever they are I have always taken responsibility for them. As far as anger. I am not sure about that. I guess there is probably a few people in the world I have anger toward but not many. As far as God goes. I am not angry at "God" because I am sure there is not one. No as far as denial goes i would be in denial if I did nor recognize that my life was totally ruined and hopeless. I have experienced many things and in the grand scheme of my death will have no impact on any important thing. But no I have a rational accurate grip on reality and have thought this out for years. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
moonbeam, you may save your insults for the alley. I had hoped people would just recognize it for what it is and let it die but that doesn't seem to be the case. The thread is locked. Any attempts to continue it in a future post will be dealt with immediately. Lobsang, if you are interested in posting topics that invite controversy, consider the Alley Forum, which is designed for that purpose. |
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