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Open Poetry #44
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Carnivalesque Arabesque
| Open Poetry #44 |
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Carnivalesque Arabesque |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
In verboten Srebrenica schnauzers noshed on rotten pizza, In schlock shops the zaftig yenta found refuge to kvetch and schmooze; Ragamuffins, dykes, and golems argued over works of Sholem And the case of Irene Bolam, keeping warm with swigs of booze; Gonifs, schnorrers clad in schmatte schlepped the steppes and yelled abuse: It was there he found his muse. In the grotto, gargoyles, gorgons, offered him use of their organs As they spat tobacco juice and slurred some songs of Mother Goose; Schmaltzy Carrie, gaunt and hairy, belched and reeked of bloody mary, Munching on a dingleberry blurting she would not refuse For a sum of sixty kuna gory use, abuse, misuse; On her face she begged he ooze. Mavens fat as big beluga, kvelling of all that’s meshuga, Boasted she had labia that hanged down like St-Bernard flews That would give him haimish pleasure, schadenfreude at his leisure, Like an oyster she held treasure, pure as pearls from Belarus; Machers filled with chutzpah nudged the nebbish, the mensh to seduce And ensnare him in her noose. They hung portraits of Umberto, borborygmi in concerto, Smorgasbord of kosher schmutz, a feast of pancreatic juice, On the stage they danced burlesquely in the hall they groped grotesquely, And all went so Disneyesquely, poltergeists were on the loose: And thus ends the sore megillah of his life as a recluse: Married in kaput caboose. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Marc-Andre Germain - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Boshii2 Member
since 2009-02-01
Posts 146 |
absolutely splendiferous. Boshii2 |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Boshii2, thanks for reading. I'm glad you've enjoyed it. Mark |
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Boshii2 Member
since 2009-02-01
Posts 146 |
I just cannot stay away.Visions keep coming to me of Schmaltzy Carrie and Mavens and the Big Beluga. A complete orgy of words......fabulous. Boshii2 |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Heartfelt thanks to you, Boshii2; I'm really glad you can also enjoy attending a second wedding today  You might also enjoy this one, written in the same form: /pip/Forum22/HTML/000988.html Have a marvelous day! Mark |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I'd like to say you're bad! bad! bad! But I can't really tell if you're bad or not.....I just know you're an excellent writer. I mean that in a real good bad type of way. Is this a chapter from the 'North American Free Trade Act"? You are such a good poet in the real sense. I loved this! Oyster! Imagine that....Put your hand out son I have to spank you a little....LOL! Eric |
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tao power Member
since 2009-02-24
Posts 109 |
Ima be honest. I couldnt make sense of the poem. I dont know what 75% of the words mean in the first stanza. Are you speaking hebrew? It's not your fault. My pitiful lack of education is to blame. The sonorous aspect of the poem was intact and quite pleasant though. I just wish I could have understood more of it. |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Eric, many thanks for the nice comments. From a poet of your calibre, it's very flattering Tao Power, sorry to hear this did not appeal to you. All the words are actually in the English dictionary; most of the foreign-origin words are Yiddish, then German. I was basically playing with these words for sound effects, but I think I've come up with quite a story. A good online source to look up for words is http://www.onelook.com/ a search engine into many dictionary. Mark |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Mark, I grew up with many Jewish friends, and I learned a lot Yiddish terms. It's somewhat overpowering to read a poem in the language I will add, that most of the Yiddish words I learned wern't very nice ones. We were a rough crowd. A gang of four close friends. One of our gang was Jewish. He was a dear friend that died young. He was a big guy, and I think his size was probably too much for his big heart. I think of him often. Bobby [This message has been edited by Robert E. Jordan (03-04-2009 11:21 PM).] |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Very interesting poem, Marc-Andre. I enjoy the way you played with language here. Ida |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Hmm, I had visions of those naughty paintings of yore wherein people were cavorting and having a jolly time of it! lol "a feast of pancreatic juice" ~ Now that is where you lost me! Or should I say, I nearly lost it!  lolI envy your recall of past lifetimes! Thanks for sharing! lol  Linda |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Ok, I admit I had read this twice when you first posted it and was intrigued, but found it difficult to comment. "kosher schmutz" and "rotten pizza" that was too much  ... but lol you had fun I can guess with putting together this piece and the tune is there, abundantly so!Still intrigued. Love, Margherita |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Bobby, I hope this brought up good memories too. Believe me, I've had it quite rough myself. Yet, on the whole, there are also moments I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Ida, Linda and Margherita, Thanks for reading. This basically started as a sonic exercise, picking words I admit I was unfamiliar with. Somehow, the Yiddish words seemed so fun. I then blended some of the word play with what I came up with through a cut up exercise. After hours trying to fit this in entirely different (nonsense poetry) form, this one just flowed out. Yep, it was a load of fun. And I'm sure I will have great fun revising it. Mark |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Mark, What a fascinating poem. I am drawn to the images; it's like seeing a pictures, each hideous to view. Yet, even then, I am compelled to study each. Know what I mean? quote: quote: Oh the image of that labia and the ooze - my God, someone please wipe them from my memory banks! The reasons I like this poem are: 1. You use words in the most creative way. I like the internal rhymes and I like the flow. 2. You have written of the seamier side of life without sugar coating it. The poem is stark - all pretense swept aside. 3. The story reads like a book of art. My mind is racing with the visuals. Well done. Alison |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Alison, thanks for the extensive review. Knowing both what doesn't work and what does is most helpful information. A different "Quest for Grace", this is a first draught, I think there's material in there to work upon. Bobby, if you know of any Yiddish words that could replace the commonplace ones or be incorporated in the revision/expansion, please let me know Mark |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Hey Mark, I am sorry that I was not more clear. The comment about erasing the thoughts from my memory banks was actually meant as a compliment to your ability as a writer. The pictures I got in my mind were sharp, clear and hideous - and that fascinated me. I like this poem because of what you did - and how you brought me into it. I liked it a lot. A |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Actually, Alison, I must be the one who wasn't clear enough. In your feedback, I've seen nothing but compliments, and the "erasing the images from your memory banks" brought a big smile to my face I meant to say that I appreciate your comments which, being specific, is very helpful.Mark |
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