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Open Poetry #39
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Afterglow....A Triolet
| Open Poetry #39 |
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Afterglow....A Triolet |
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seraphin Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004Michigan 
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This is my first Triolet, and I would truly appreciate your comments. I'm looking for objective honest feedback, but avoiding CA because frankly, those people scare me! Afterglow Illuminated by the afterglow, Of yet another moonlit illusion. Where heart trails like a river flow. Illuminated by the afterglow. Light of lune does sorely show, Wispy tears drawn from my eyes. Illuminated by the afterglow, Of yet another moonlit illusion. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Sandra McDonald - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
seraphin A lovely read. |
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seraphin Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004Michigan |
Sy, thank you. But did I do it right! Sandra |
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Triskaidekaphobia Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 251In a state of disrepair... |
I must repeat what was said above; a lovely read. As for whether you have it right, I believe you do. Oh, and well done only being scared of the CA lot, they utterly terrify me.  "The world won't end in darkness, it'll end in family fun |
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seraphin Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004Michigan |
Trisk, thank you so much! And I understated my feelings for CA, actually, I'm right up there with you! Whooo-hooo! I got it right!!! Sandra |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
it has 8 lines 4 and 7 are the same as line 1 8 is the same as line 2 it rhymes and it's exquisitely beautiful... it's a lovely triolet Sandra! |
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seraphin Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004Michigan |
Kate, Your words always mean so much to me. Thank you. Sandra |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
The form of a Triolet: (for those that don't know or are not sure, including myself. The Triolet ("triplet"), a French verse form, is a poem or a stanza of eight lines that include two rhymes and two refrains. The features of the Triolet are: 8 lines. Two rhymes. 5 of the 8 lines are repeated or refrain lines. First line repeats at the 4th and 7th lines. Second line repeats at the 8th line. Rhyme scheme (where an upper-case letter indicates the appearance of an identical line, while a lower-case letter indicates a rhyme with each line designated by the same lower-case or upper-case letter): A B a - Rhymes with 1st line. A - Identical to 1st line. a - Rhymes with 1st line. b - Rhymes with 2nd line. A - Identical to 1st line. B - Identical to 2nd line. I have not read this one enough to comment, but I will say that CA is not nearly as harrowing as one might think.... [This message has been edited by Magnus (10-07-2006 04:03 PM).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Whatever it is, (and I suspect it is) it's beautifully written. |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
yes and whatever it is IWIHWT |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
well I hadn't a clue what a triolet was but I sure liked it alot anyhow! |
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seraphin Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004Michigan |
Yes it is, Barry!!! I found my errors in this and re posted a corrected version. If you find time, and it! would you let me know what you think? Sandra |
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seraphin Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004Michigan |
Martie, Thank you. I think I need to re do it, too many syllables! Gosh, I love free form!!!! Sandra |
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