Thoughts from a man with a rake.

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Open Poetry #39

Thoughts from a man with a rake.

Edward Grim
Senior Member

since 2005-12-18

Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina

0 posted 2006-10-04 02:59 PM

Thoughts from a man with a rake.

“Rippsing ands tearing,
feedsing and pulling.
The Worms in,
theys bleeding.
Iron teeth things,
rusted rippings.
The Worms in,
I won’t forgets you.

I watches the uppers
of what’s aboves me.
Whites floating me
callings me to
wants what we’s need.

Scratchings I made,
from a rakes in my hands.
Grasses and weedings
feeling teethed for me’s.
Soils loosened with rowses of
roses that the bled Worms in
won’t ever be able to reach
to sniffs.” – Thoughts from a man with a rake

Once you are truly insane, it’s all picnics with Kafka after that. See, it’s the process of going crazy that you gotta worry about.

seraphin
Senior Member

since 2000-09-24

Posts 1004
Michigan

1 posted 2006-10-04 03:08 PM

This is great! I love it!!!

Sandra

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

2 posted 2006-10-04 03:49 PM

From the first line, I heard the words in a raspy whisper... perfect accompaniment for the worms' demise. *S*

This is fantastic! *S*

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

3 posted 2006-10-04 04:31 PM

I love those

"rowses of
roses that the bled Worms in
won’t ever be able to reach
to sniffs."

the whole blinking thing is terrific!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

4 posted 2006-10-04 04:31 PM

I found this absolutely intriguing.

You managed a portrait and characterization in the confines of a single poem, and it read like a page from a chapter of a book.

Loved it.

Edward Grim
Senior Member

since 2005-12-18

Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina

5 posted 2006-10-05 06:05 PM

Thanks everybody, I really appreciate it. Cheers

Once you are truly insane, it’s all picnics with Kafka after that. See, it’s the process of going crazy that you gotta worry about.

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