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Open Poetry #39
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My First Poem..
| Open Poetry #39 |
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My First Poem.. |
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DreamerSpirit Member
since 2006-10-02
Posts 240Buenos Aires, Argentina |
Well, This is the first One.. It's Somethin' that happened some months ago.. A Dream to Remember(And then I saw You) It Was A Cloudy Night I Was Waiting for Someone and then I saw You It was really Cold it Was really Dark I was getting tired of Waiting and then i saw you it was really silent there were no stars only the door of my house and you i went to see yo closer i went in to talk to you i went in to tell you.. Hello i went to kiss you Again but then i woke up it was all a dream no cold, no stars, no silence, no friend comin' late no you and then i remembered you left you got out of my life that night Oh! I just Remembered that i wanted to look for you that i wanted to see you that i wanted you back in my life i don't know where you are i don't know if you still wait for me but i'm gonna look for you until the end oh! i just remembered that i wanted to hold you oh! i just remembered that i wanted to tell you i love you oh! i just remembered that i wanted to tell you i love you oh! i just remembered that i needed to tell you i love you oh! i just remembered that i'd love to tell you again i need you |
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| © Copyright 2006 Denis-DreamerSpirit - All Rights Reserved | |||
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
It's pretty sad - and I hope you find this love again. I like your poem -- you touched my heart with it. Thank you for sharing your first poem. aziza |
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Kira Aso Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351Closer to Hell... |
Is this really your first poem?! (Stares in disbelief) Very good job! Really enjoyed! Also very sad... Welcome to Passions! I know I'll be looking for more of your work! Hugs and Hershey bars for you!!! ~Kira |
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deasomnians Member
since 2006-06-20
Posts 87California |
Excellent job. Keep writing! "Nature has implanted in our minds an insatiable longing to seek the truth" - CJCL Convention Theme 2005 |
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dingusjr Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 415Missouri |
Welcome, welcome. You will like your new home at PIP. Hope ya come back often! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
kinda like a song Welcome to Passions! |
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DreamerSpirit Member
since 2006-10-02
Posts 240Buenos Aires, Argentina |
Thank you thank you for welcoming me and thank you for your time into reading my first poem. i must recognize that i didn't expect my first poem to be read and commented in so short time. Thank you all for your acceptation. I'll Keep posting other poems i got... see you!! |
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Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
Good use of repetition makes this feel like a song that lingers in my heart. Sad but effective. |
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