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Open Poetry #39
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Shooting Star
| Open Poetry #39 |
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Shooting Star |
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Kira Aso Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351Closer to Hell... |
Shooting Star Tearing through the sky, a shooting star so bright! Falling from heaven’s canvas, you fell from our sight. In a sky full of the same old things, you had to have your own dreams, So you took the dive and didn’t worry about the cost. In the end our shooting star was lost. You said it wasn’t worth eternity, it wasn’t worth some one else’s infinity, Jumped off the edge to find your own identity, You only wanted to be seen, you were never an average teen. Saying making mistakes and having heartaches isn’t really a crime, You flew threw the heavens and defied all of time. In the end was it worth it after all? Tell me shooting star, did you really have to fall? |
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| © Copyright 2006 Kira Aso - All Rights Reserved | |||
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william foos Member
since 2006-09-13
Posts 77schenectady,new york,usa |
great write i do not think now that i would like to find my own identity but rather mold with every step i take keep doing well love the papa i see what i write and write what i see |
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Kira Aso Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351Closer to Hell... |
Wow! My first comment ever! Thankyou so much! I hope to read your poetry soon. |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
"You flew threw the heavens and defied all of time. In the end was it worth it after all? Tell me shooting star, did you really have to fall?" really nice work Kira welcome! |
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Kira Aso Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351Closer to Hell... |
Thank you for reading my poem! I'm happy people are noticing it even though I'm new. Thanx a million!!!!!!!! |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
So lovely, found myself reading this almost like a rap. I just got into the flow and I enjoyed it so much. There is a lot of beauty in this poem. Welcome and thank you. aziza |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Welcome to Passions Kira! A very interesting entrance piece. I am enjoying reading your work. ~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~ ~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome to Passions! Please, check your email for a Very Special Greeting! " It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
My Welcome is a bit late but I'm glad your first post came back up to the top here so I didn't miss it! Welcome to Passions! Loved this first poem! The ending is outstanding! |
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Kira Aso Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351Closer to Hell... |
(Blinks) I can't believe all the reviews! Thanx for the awesome welcome everyone!!! |
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seraphin Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004Michigan |
Kira, "Falling from heaven's canvas" what a wonderful weave of words. Your first post lays the groundwork for much more expression that I look forward to reading. Welcome to passions. I think you will feel right at home! Sandra |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
blink all you want, Miss Kira  you have lots of talent my dearand this? the shooting star? is an outstanding and sensitive write |
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Triskaidekaphobia Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 251In a state of disrepair... |
Mmm... first thing I like that constructive critique message of yours... I also enjoyed that poem alot. Very interesting metaphors through out. I look forward to reading more from you. "The world won't end in darkness, it'll end in family fun |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kira~ Welcome to the PiP circle of poets and friends~ The falling star metaphor works so well in this piece~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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MukkaKukka Member
since 2006-09-18
Posts 88Finland |
" I saw a shooting star tonight, and I thought of you." Who sang it? |
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seraphin Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004Michigan |
Bob Dylan "Shooting Star". Close to this, but at the same time entirely different. (I am the consumate Dylan fan  ) |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I mentioned in another poem of yours, that your poems read like lyrics, and VERY good ones I might add. Ever thought of "going there" with your work? Welcome to Passions, you will enjoy this community of fine people. Waste not a second ~ Carpe' Diem |
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Kira Aso Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351Closer to Hell... |
Thanks Mysteria. I'm very flattered you think their THAT good. I've never thought of "going there" with any of my work cause I never thought it was anything special. I just sort of wrote as an emotional espape and I had a certain way I liked it to come out. (I like my poetry to rhyme no matter what!) Hugs and Hershey bars for everyone! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Kira...each shooting star is special when you see it...so few look. Welcome to Passions! |
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