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Refugee
Member

since 2006-08-04

Posts 97

0 posted 2006-09-26 01:56 PM

Many have tried and failed in the effort
Thou always find a way to this elude
For in the escape thou art the expert
With beauty in thy strength and this exude
No one has yet been able to win thee
Thy affection is held close to thy breast
Heart locked away with some magic type key
Yet still the suitors come on with no rest

There is only one that shall deign to win
The treasure of trust in your guarded soul
Entrance to Heaven if one was let in
Would make the pieces entire and whole
That which is thy promise of yet to be
For until that time, none can possess thee

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

1 posted 2006-09-26 02:42 PM

some human beings simply do not need the company of another, while we humans are social beings...and it is written in the Bible, that there are those that should never marry...or choose a mate...for their souls are free willed and independent of the need of society's idea of "you need to be a couple to be successful"

you write, until the time, none can possess thee

is this about another human being?

interesting write, one which can certainly be food for thought...
discussion...
I liked

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2006-09-26 04:34 PM

awesome write! theme and rhyme scheme are incredible!

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

3 posted 2006-09-26 05:02 PM

Awesome right....you have the t's crossed
and the I's dotted well. Welcome to
Passions, Please continue..

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

4 posted 2006-09-26 05:05 PM

The scarlet of a heart held chaste...
One man has the key...he so does.
Such pleasure to read.
TD

Refugee
Member

since 2006-08-04

Posts 97

5 posted 2006-09-26 05:54 PM

Thank you all so much.

It is written as an unrequited type of poem.
Possessed meaning only in that sense.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

6 posted 2006-09-26 06:37 PM

Enjoyed...James

Kira Aso
Member

since 2006-09-26

Posts 351
Closer to Hell...

7 posted 2006-09-26 07:28 PM

Very good! I really love your style! Keep it up!!!

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

8 posted 2006-09-26 09:30 PM

Unrequited perhaps, but Italian nonetheless, and with many echoing dimensions in it.

Work on smoothing that meter....but otherwise, it's very well done.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

themute
Member

since 2006-05-08

Posts 469
Maryland

9 posted 2006-09-26 09:39 PM

sonnets are rare on here, you've made me consider writing a 33rd, because of the quality of yours

I am the two-toed wanderer

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

10 posted 2006-09-26 10:36 PM

excellent!

Refugee
Member

since 2006-08-04

Posts 97

11 posted 2006-09-27 08:46 AM

Rat, I know my meter must suck, I am always open to help with that stuff, and/or suggestions.

Thank you.

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