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Open Poetry #39

Lies Revealed

cbautista
Junior Member

since 2006-09-13

Posts 38

0 posted 2006-09-13 03:59 PM

Lightlessness lies in the belly of the beast
Swirling, pivoting about
A cacophony of soundless movement
Skimming through the shadows
Constant streaming motions

Weaving, turning tendrils snake
Up and over, rubbing together
Then back down under
A quick stroke
of light.

Any criticism would be much obliged! Thanks all!

Snowflake From Hell
Senior Member

since 2003-07-10

Posts 777
My own little Icey Oblivion

1 posted 2006-09-13 05:06 PM

not gonna get criticism on this from me but i will say i did like it a lot

Swinging the Dead in this Free Fall you call life, Swinging the Dead on a Deathride

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

2 posted 2006-09-14 12:33 PM

no criticism here either
love the way you
weave those words...

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

3 posted 2006-09-14 07:37 AM

ms cb..you opened it...there is more, show us the rest? enjoyed it

Dublin Boy
Member

since 2006-08-26

Posts 102
UK

4 posted 2006-09-14 10:44 AM

A nicely-worded piece, but what does it mean?
Presumably the poem is a metaphor, but a metaphor for what?
Puzzled,
Bill

cbautista
Junior Member

since 2006-09-13

Posts 38

5 posted 2006-09-14 11:13 AM

Thanks Dublin Boy, I guess it is a bit mysterious though I was trying to relate it to the title itself.

I'll work on it so it fits more with the title.

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