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Open Poetry #39
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full moon night (charcoal man and his lady)
| Open Poetry #39 |
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full moon night (charcoal man and his lady) |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest 
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charcoal man slips out screen door night slidin’ by lady sleepin’ pulled into happy curl full moon whispers in the bayou he sits on dock of memories smokin’ fresh rolled dominican leaf gator glides up eyes half lidded ol caimon I feel like gratin stuck to bottom of pot love my doucette need a little sauce picante too know what I mean? gator gazes yellow eyes where you lady tonight ol caimon while you out soft slidin’ ‘round? charcoal man carries his fresh rolled back to house slips open screen quiet like hooks Panama on nail lifts dream sheet sighs bed creaks lady turns fits herself content to her man |
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| © Copyright 2006 Kate - All Rights Reserved | |||
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Kate, is this a book....these are great! |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
thank you Jo... I don't know if it's a book they just keep coming... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Book or not, the story-telling of this is vignette quality and glows well in the lamp light. This, I think, because of the monologue including caiman, qualifies as one of your better submissions. Yes, indeed, Kate...write on! |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ladyone, seems a quiet time between the hurry-cains... enjoyed the tender |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Lady...I Love the tender realness of this scene.  |
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seraphin Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004Michigan |
Ok, now I feel for him. He is the like the smoke from his frsh rolled. It can't be contained, if she tries, she will only choke. I'm relating a wee bit too much to this couple. I have to keep reminding myself they are not real. Trust me Lady, this IS a book. I don't think you really have much say in the matter anymore. Just write it, and make us all happy. Jeeeeez! Some writers are soooo darn stubborn! |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
some people never realize that...real freedom is in giving yourself...away |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
thank you so much Karilea...  ah it’s tender and quiet now Stranger but mr gator knows the truth and he ain’t talking I noticed he’s smoking that dominican leaf you suggested… thank you Martie the charcoal man doesn’t speak much but when he does… yes indeed Sandra you are so right about choking on the smoke I feel for him too... I really don’t have any say anymore they just won’t leave me alone thank you you’re right Helen thank you … |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
I love how you develop both characters so we can get to know them both. I love them and am enjoying your story development. You have me on the edge of my seat, yet wanting to take my time and savor each poem. aziza |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
I am so caught up in these posts... Love'm all! |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
I’m on the edge of my seat too aziza… thank you so much thank you very much Enchantress… I appreciate your replies |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
quote: And that says it all to me. A |
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