Open Poetry #38 |
Like Sawdust To The Fecund Wheat |
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Like Sawdust To The Fecund Wheat Words like sawdust litter the floor, a dessicating underlayer for my droppings, and I gnaw, more rodent now than poet, chaw one pod and then another in a hopeless search for some peanut of wit, one pea of sentience….all the while my world degenerates me into anhydrous anger that disintegrates, pronates like my hands, my feet that loll askew as I perambulate the dusty mindwheel, or falter, to lie whimpering at the bars. With desperate teeth I chainsaw chawdust from the springtime trees, the flail and founder like macaroni after the wet, fecund wheat I held once, collapse like patterned china, smashing into ever smaller pieces, down into sand, to clay again, ultimately denying everything. Leave me alone to this: I stood once, created once, slouched into rote and patterned form, into the predictable, until now I know the mirror’s verdict in advance: I’m a hamster, damn it! I’ve gone down all the way. |
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© Copyright 2006 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
XOx Uriah xOX Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403Virginia |
Wow ! This one came from the gut. hampster? yes You dont look shrewish. ::smiles:: ((( Ed ))) |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
I don't yet, but even a rat can degenerate! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
The last line leaves a grin... but it's a grin with dampened cheeks... for you've drawn us into the depths of the frustration... until we're sitting in the same sawdust, wondering why that wheel tossed us off. *S* With desperate teeth I chainsaw chawdust from the springtime trees, the flail and founder like macaroni after the wet, fecund wheat I held once, I love these lines.... and I'm afraid your mirror must be busted. *S* It should be showing POET... for you are... yes! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Well, not bad I guess....for a rodent! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed Oh my gosh!! My tongue of mind hurts from the roll of the words in this amazing poem. You are good...ya gotta know that...a really good poet!! |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
Oooo, I like this one! You've read some of my stuff; this is the type of poetry I can't get enough of. I'm not nearly as good as you though, lol. This is truly a work of art. Ed I'm not smart, I'm just a tricky dumb person. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Now this one... understands me. Continue to pull the masses up by dictionary...make them read and learn what they have missed in school...teach 'em...or let 'em lag behind.... this was great. I think I understood ALL the words without cheating. |
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Jess Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 243Washington |
Mister vocab!!! This poem fits your name! (although I know it was a hampster!) |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
Painful, so painful, yet no degeneration noted. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
oh Ed, this is absolutely you at your best even with the emotional stings you ran that wheel 'round and 'round superb vocabulary offerings! |
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Troy Member
since 2006-06-04
Posts 52B.C. |
quote:I don't know what it is about free verse that so stridently offers a 'no holes barred' diorama to one's inner tableaux but you certainly presented it in a most interesting choice of words not unlike Walt Whitman when he's peoed at himself...or so I imagine! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
No holes barred....yeeeowzah! You must be a poet or something! Rhymed verse is more memorable....which is how it came to be, the priests wanting some way to help the un-schooled barnyard doofuses in their flock memorize the catechism, and a sing-songy, rhymey verse leads the mouth along in saying it...."Adam died and so must I...." GACK! But for starkness and a hard punch, it's free verse every time....... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> ______________Ratleader______________ [This message has been edited by Ratleader (06-09-2006 09:06 AM).] |
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Troy Member
since 2006-06-04
Posts 52B.C. |
quote:...or something. Besides rhyming poetry can be pretty gritty as in: Fleas Adam had'em It only took a day and a half to make it 'memorable' but I've never forgotten it since then. |
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