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Edward Grim
Senior Member

since 2005-12-18

Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina

0 posted 2006-07-28 11:24 AM

The Love Abhorrer

This woman was tinsel
in thinking.
I mean,
she was more optimistic
than Martha Stewart
on Wall Street.

But she had some issues.
She was a lamppost,
motion detecting,
in the regions of love,
anything could turn her on.

Her name
should have been
“Size 12½”
‘cause every man
got in her
then stepped all over her.

She’d been poked more times
than a dead guy in a field
of sticks and first graders.

Love, loathe
and sweet lovin’
usually meant the same.
Synonymous with human desire
and chemical affection.
Lust and operatic animal noises
leading the parade in his pants,
march of dimes and other loose change.

She was an abhorrer,
but most men would have said that
differently.

I'm not smart, I'm just a tricky dumb person.

aziza
Member Elite

since 2006-07-09

Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

1 posted 2006-07-28 08:23 PM

I thought this was an exceptionally cleverly worded poem. I loved the last lines though - I cracked up. Hope that's okay because I found the entire poem a bit tawdry and rather funny. Maybe we all can visualize this woman; I know I did. While I see her as sad - I felt that your writing was luring me in to laugh at the dark humor. Very, very well written.

Thank you.
aziza

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2006-07-28 11:53 PM

chuckling here at a couple of lines
and yet, such a sad creature you've portrayed!
nice dark portraiture

seraphin
Senior Member

since 2000-09-24

Posts 1004
Michigan

3 posted 2006-07-29 12:02 PM

I read this earlier today, and it took a while to render the proper words for a comment. Unfortunately, I still have not found them. So, will it suffice to say, I like this a great deal. As I do all of your work I've read. You are very talented.

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

4 posted 2006-07-29 10:49 AM

is this written about me?

j/k

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

divine chaos
Senior Member

since 2006-07-09

Posts 617
dancing 'neath the moon

5 posted 2006-07-29 11:16 AM

ya know, I'm with seraphin. I've read this several times and still can't think of the right words. It made me smile, chuckle, and still feel sorry for the subject

I like it .. I like it a lot

~*Sheli*~

By words the mind is winged
~Aristophanes~

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